The Never Ending Story

[Guest palexxxx]

How do you expect me to ...................

........run the Deutche war effort on zis measly $100."

 

BigPete was briefly taken aback but regained his composure and then replied, "I'm sorry Kaptain Captain, or can I just call you Captain? As well as the $100 I've also got some of Maria's famous apple strudel, would you like some of that? I'll just get it from inside my cockpit."

 

"Ya, das ist gut." said Kaptain Captain.

 

BigPete climbed into the cockpit and seeing that Kaptain Captain was standing not quite front and centre in front of the jabbyroo, stomped hard on the rudder pedal, gunned the engine and as the image of Kaptain Captain came into view of his gunsight, gave the trigger a squeeze on his joystick. The eight .303 machineguns mounted in the wings (optional extra for rural customers) burst into life.

 

"Mein Gott.......Himmel" cried out Herr Kaptain.

 

"Take that you nazi b...tards." yelled BigPete.

 

Meanwhile, back at base, Nurse Kaz was talking to Dr. Matt in a quiet voice.

 

"I'm really worried about Ian you know. I think he's lost it. He doesn't know his 'Mary Poppins' from his 'Sound Of Music'. I think it's the 'ian imbalance' affecting him."

 

"Ian imbalance? What do you mean Nurse Kaz?" said Dr. Matt.

 

"You know, Dr. You've got to balance the ian levels. Ian's given up Nicot-ian, so we've got to adjust his Caff-ian and Code-ian."

 

"You're right you know, Nurse. Increase his Caff-ian level by three more cups a day and I think we need to give him something a bit stronger than Code-ian." said Dr. Matt.

 

"You don't mean......" said Nurse Kaz.

 

"Yes......I do mean......He needs some more Aviat-ian.".........

 

 

[Admin]

and Maria...makes me laugh...as she climbed every mountain...with a spoonful of sugar...

 

 

[Captain]

....He needs some more Aviat-ian.".........

"Mein Gott .......... Himmel" sagt Hauptman Kaptain Captain...... you have shotted me you schwein.

 

Und vhile I am dieing I hastily add ....... as it is raining Dats and Kogs here dieses nachmittags, he certainly needs some more Aviat-ian, for he is a homo - sap-ian who might need sterilisat-ian.

 

The only thing that can save us now is some lap dancing by Nurse Kaz (sorry Kaz) and the Administrator then being retrained in his Umbrella Aviation 101 so that he can know whether it is the sheila from Sound of Music, or Mary Poppins, who is on late final under her Rotax powered brella, to allow him to make an appropriate allowance in his Millen-ian for how wide a circuit she will need.

 

Nurse Kaz and Doc Matt looked at each other knowingly, sort of giggled, and said .....

 

(Opps ... the boss-ian snuck in with a post so that needs to be replied to)

 

Nurse Kaz and Doc Matt looked at each other knowingly, sort of giggled, and said ..... make sure you warm up that spoon before you climb this mount-ian and don't spill the sugar down there without .....................

 

 

[hihosland]

and Maria...makes me laugh...as she climbed every mountain...with a spoonful of sugar...

singing it makes the medicine go down

 

....medicine go down

 

....medicine go down

 

which caused doc serious confusion and a visit from millenium man merely because he thought she said 'medicine man go down'........

 

 

[BigPete]

:big_grin: It's Ok Ian - I'll get this one. :thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

Clean up your act/s people :yuk: - we can't have the next Victorian Rep of RA-AUS associated wirh the likes of us rabble. :confused:

 

The Captains German accent is so bad :ah_oh: I think he must be an English spy......;)

 

I'd love to see Matt and Kaz in medical attire at the Hopetoun Mini Flyin

 

...and so with Dr Matt and Nurse Kaz working valiantly on the near expired, highly successful English spy Captain J.E. Selggib aka Kaptain Captain (Hermann to his friends), BigPete saw his opportunity and taxied out to runway 36. :big_grin:

 

As he applied full power and began his takeoff run, he couldn't control himself any longer......

 

"Alfvidersheen, you gullible foolz" he said into his microphone, "for it is I, Baron von HindonPete, and I hazz Maria, and I'm heading for the farderlanden."

 

(Sorry Captian - it appears that I have the worst accent - after all :big_grin:)

 

Unfortunatley for HindonPete........

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

regards

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

Unfortunatley for HindonPete........

........someone had organised a fly-in at that airstrip and it promptly started to rain. Did I say rain, what I meant was bucketing down. by the time that HindonPete had taxied to the end of the runway his maingear was completely submerged, which not only upset HindonPete but Friedrich and Kurt were not particularly happy either since they were sitting on the maingear mudflaps and were chest deep in the rushing water.

 

HindonPete started his take-off run but after half a minute when he had only progressed fifty metres and only attained a speed of 20 knots he realized that he was not going to get airborne today. Taking a turn at the point where he guessed the taxiway must be under the water he taxied up to a hanger that he could just see the lights of through the thick sheets of water still coming down.

 

When he reached the hanger he could just recognise the portly figure that stood framed in the doorway.............

 

 

[planedriver]

Surely he thought,that's got to be the famous Captain Von Trapp, the very one from the movie. Sure it was raining cats, and dogs, fritzis and frogs and this really impeaded poor HindonPetes progress. To put it bluntly, he really had the *****, especially when dear little Gretl in all her innocence burst into song, singing "The rain in spain, falls mainly on the planes". Getting his phrase book out of his pocket and trying to get his accent right this time, My Dear little Gretl, HindonPete explained, Ize care not a stuff at zee moment about zee precipitation in Madrid, these pages are all stuck together you zee, but im tryin my best.

 

Howz do I get uze otta ziz desperate sitzuazion?.........

 

 

[Captain]

"Und youze blokes reckon zat mein accent ist crapppeeeee" thought Hauptman Kapitan Kaptain Captain, (without officially posting to ze N.E.S)

 

 

[planedriver]

Hey Captian send me 15 bucks,we can share, because I found the answer on Ebay.

 

I am a professional freelance translator, and will professionally, accurately and quickly translate documents from German, or Spanish to English, or vice versa. I always thoroughly research the subject so I can create the best, most accurate translation possible. I charge $30.00 for a page of approx.250 words.No additional charges.Free estimates of documents, just email me and I will be happy to give you an estimate.I have experience in IT translation, legal documents, medical documents, business letters, personal letters, etc. especially responses to recreational flying forums, Wow how goods that??!!!!***** And so the story continues,...........

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

Hey Captian send me 15 bucks,we can share, because I found the answer on Ebay.I am a professional freelance translator, and will professionally, accurately and quickly translate documents from German, or Spanish to English, or vice versa. I always thoroughly research the subject so I can create the best, most accurate translation possible. I charge $30.00 for a page of approx.250 words.No additional charges.Free estimates of documents, just email me and I will be happy to give you an estimate.I have experience in IT translation, legal documents, medical documents, business letters, personal letters, etc. especially responses to recreational flying forums, Wow how goods that??!!!!***** And so the story continues,...........

There's no need. I already showed you how to translate English to German back in March, see below.

 

Recreational Flying

 

 

[Captain]

And so the story continues,...........

(So this is where 5 years of learning high school german has gotten me)

 

................... with HindonPeter (who is also CheapskatePete) buying a translater on ebay to handle his Cherman to Inglish translations.

 

However it turned out to be a cheap pirated version made in Guan Dong where the patent laws are scheisenhausen. So when HindonPete's machinegun went "Ratta Tatt Tatt" as he shot the good Hauptman Captain down in cold blood, the translation was "Latta tatty tat puddy cat (yummy dinner)".

 

"I can't work under these conditions" said Pete. "As many people sink zat vee Chermans haf no sense of hoomour and are too (zweimal) regimented".

 

"So Ich vill prove that zis is not ze case und ve are not too organized by telling zeveral hoomerous anecdotens"

 

"Schtart ze clock."

 

"Now, ............................... choke nummer one"

 

However in the meantime the Riverland girl (the virgin wearing the cottontails that BigPete hooked onto), who spoke with a strong Italian accent (not because she was Italian, but because her English teacher at AcuhcE Primary had just arrived straight off-a the boat) cried-a out-a ........................

 

 

[BigPete]

......meanwhile HindonPete was still wallowing around at the end of runway 36 in four feet of water. :yuk: This double agent thing is a real pain in the butt he thought to himself. So far I've used so many alias I don't know whether I'm comin' or goin'.

 

In desperation he knew that he's only chance was return to OZStork HQ and resume his undercover role as (sorry, it's Top Secret). :big_grin: He opened the doors and swiftly cut through both main udercarriage legs. (with his trusty SAPK).

 

"Maria" he shouted - "go down the back of the Jabiroo so I can get this thing in the air" As Maria worked her way to the rear, the front of the Jabiroo lifted and our hero called "Clear Prop" and hit the starter button. i_dunno

 

As the motor roared into life, a shadowy figure loomed out of the darkness (for it was well past last light) :confused: carrying of all things a cash register in one hand and dusty aviation goods in the other.

 

"Did you call me" - :) yelled Ian through all the water spray, the Jabiroo was making.

 

"No" yelled back LoudPete - "but seeing your here, layout all the stuff you had a Narromine, and I'll wash all the dust off it as I depart. :thumb_up:

 

And so as HelpfulPete gunned the motor and headed down a very soggy 36 he thought to himself..........

 

 

[Captain]

................ this is why we have aligned our runways north/South.

 

It is a spy identification program as it is impossible for these baddies not to say "Jabiwoo ist wolling in runvay sree zex" and we've got 'em .............

 

 

[BigPete]

Sorry Captain - I think there's been a glitch in the system. I didn't see your post (#212) until after I posted mine (#213)

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[Captain]

No worries Peter.

 

You just roll over the top of all of the other forum members .... just like you did when you shotted me with your 160 mounted machine gun.

 

Now how do I complain to Ian about zis?

 

PS ... we should both team up to roll palexxxxxx and planedriver as they are doing too good a job in here.

 

 

[BigPete]

.....so as the real RealPete (BigPete etc etc...) finally lifted his soggy aircraft into the air, the clever international Italian spy Ricky Ricardo (alias ClaytonsPete) (and you thought he was Portareekon) continued to woo the lovely Riverland girl with his charm and tall stories of his brave exploits during WWII. :confused: (you do, of course realize that these were indeed short stories). i_dunno

 

and so dear reader, it's now up to you........

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[BigPete]

Geez Captain - I've done it again........

 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

 

regards

 

 

[BigPete]

and

 

I didn't shoot you really. I was looking for lunch (Chinese actually)

 

regards

 

 

[Admin]

Now how do I complain to Ian about zis?

Complaints department isn't open till 12:00pm...open for 1 hour...and they take an hour for lunch...please knock on the door to lodge a complaint:

 

 

Ricky Ricardo

da plane...da plane

 

 

[planedriver]

Viz all zis spray i'm makin looking like zee cross-channel hovercraft, vee hopes we can get za thing out of grund efekt wizout za need to push Maria out of zee dor to make it liter. Zee poor motor was redlining and sounded like a scolded bee as zee stick was pulled back and they started a very shallow climb. With the Ratta Tatt Tatt of the machine guns nearby, they had no choice but to make several orbits to gain enough altitude to get over zee bloody mountains. As they narrowly cleared the peaks, the motor noise was drouned out as Maria burst out singing "The Hills are again, alive with the sound of music", and they were heading to back to base.

 

With the 15 bucks he'd saved by attempting to use palexxx's previously posted translator, Planedriver felt that HindonPete's heroic actions should be rewarded with something appropriate :thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: ,so took him to a small resaurant in town and treated him to with a meal of Krackwurst and sauerkraut which sadly gave him much flatulence:sad:.

 

Ians stuff had the dust washed off it, but wound up a little waterstained so there should be some good discounts :thumb_up:to be had when it re-appears at Narromine next Easter.

 

The Riverland girl meanwhile,was still crying out for help, as she was trying to unhook BigPetes favourite fishing lure from her undies which he'd demanded back, and guess who came to her rescue....

 

 

[planedriver]

:sorry:Planedriver too, has got out of step with the story as others snuck in before him.

 

Don't fancy the chances of making a successful complaint though, as the complaints department is closed for an early lunch again and the admiistrator has moved in the heavy machinery in readiness.:hittinghead:

 

Anyway .......

 

 

[Captain]

Anyway .......

...... "Bugger this" said the Riverland girl in the cottontails. "This isn't a "Never Ending Story", this is a "Highly Interrupted Story", and that isn't HindonPete, that is Mel Brookes (or at least they are about the same height), so don't expect me to do another baked beans scene as my cottontails are of the purest white".

 

 

 

"Pure white?" said Mel. "Then you can't be from the Riverland".

 

 

 

"It is true and you are right" she said, pealing off her cottontails and showing that she is really Julie Anthony aka Mary Poppins aka that shelia from the Sounds of Music.

 

 

 

Geeeeez thought MelPete. I'm glad little Pete didn't get a gander at that, because ..........

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

...... "It is true and you are right" she said, pealing off her cottontails and showing that she is really Julie Anthony aka Mary Poppins aka that shelia from the Sounds of Music.

Unfortunately it was soon discovered that Captain had come down with a case of unbalanced 'Ian Levels' too, as he had mistaken his Julie Anthony's with his Julie Andrew's.

 

Meanwhile BigPete having landed once again with the Riverland girl in tow pulled up at the Echoocar Jetty and said to the young lady, "Come on luv, can ya hurry up, the cod are bitin' and you've still got me favourite stumpjumper lure caught in ya jocks. Tell ya wot, I'll just go down the back and get me ugly stick (these jabby-roo 160's are roomy aren't they) and you can unhook me lure in peace, OK??

 

 

[Captain]

..... then GrandePiere (& palezzzzzzzzzzzz) looked again and discovered that the good Captain hadn't got the names messed up after all.

 

For they found that once the cottontails were off, the Riverlandperson was actually Anthony Andrews.

 

"That's a turn-up for the books" he thought, (but it was actually turned a little to the left).

 

"Just give us me lure back and we'll call it quits" he said, for I am straight ..... and so was Ant (when he had a good squizzz), and that is how the Gay 160 Owner's Association was formed, all because ..............................

 

 

[Captain]

Complaints department isn't open till 12:00pm...open for 1 hour...and they take an hour for lunch...please knock on the door to lodge a complaint:

da plane...da plane

Good reply Ian :thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

1 Looks like the Forum complaints department is run by an ex CASA manager. :yuk:

 

2 How can we have a Board member who gets Lucille Ball's old man mixed up with Ricardo Montelban's significant other, Tattoo? Next thing you'll be juxtaposing Julie Andrews and Julie Anthony.