The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

........Lang Hancock and Robert Bunning.

We all know that Lang flew a Cessna and was always getting lost and one day he was flying up an unfamiliar valley and found Gina's fortune.

Not many people know that Robert Bunning was also an entrepreneur as a timer miller and builder of most of Perth's early homes, shops and factories.

Lang used to say "Bob, get out of those XXXXXXX overalls; you have to have a XXXXXXX vision like me, that's how you make XXXXXXX money."

Robert would defend himself and say, "If I could buy hammers, saws, nails from 1/2" to 6" and baths in WA instead of waiting for the Camel trains to walk in from the east I'd make money too!

"Ever heard of Turbine Bros Marketing Consultants Inc.?" asked Lang mildly and six weeks later Arthur Turbine, whose pub nickname was "Turbo" walked in, and the rest is history, and btw that's why in the nails section whether you are looking in the 2" nail bin or the 5" nail bin, you'll always find nails from 1/2" to 6", and why..........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

and why.......

.... all of the eateries in Bunnings stores are called the Lang Walker Memorial Coffee Shop, with liberal amounts of low-grade iron ore and WA sand sprinkled about the joint for authenticity (the low-grade iron ore is supplied by Gina under a concessional pricing contract that is administered by OT, in exchange for a CAT spare parts concession at most of her mines).

 

This arrangement has suited both .....

[turboplanner]

......Gina and OT for years and they could often be seen smooching in the Kling Long Nightclub in Hong Kong after flying there in separate airlines.

It did look a bit odd because OT is so skinny, but they were happy enough and the partnership prospered until.........

 

A truckie friend of Turbo was caught out there one night after sneaking in for quick perv at the strippers while dining. One of them walked up to his table and pulled him up to dance. He thought "What the heck, no one will know me here and was acting silly when from the sidelines there was a bellow 'GO KNIGHTY'

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....Gina and OT for years and they could often be seen smooching in the Kling Long Nightclub in Hong Kong after flying there in separate airlines.

It did look a bit odd because OT is so skinny, but they were happy enough and the partnership prospered until......

.... Gina became keen to perform the ping-pong trick (as a propellor, not a catcher) and that brought .....

[onetrack]

......calls from the audience of "GINA!, GINA!, GINA!!", as they all wanted to see her proficiency with a ping pong ball. So Gina got up on the stage, held up a ping pong ball and said, "This is a ping pong ball, we don't have many of these in W.A. - but what we do have in W.A., is lots of these!! - and at that, she whipped out a huge iron ore rock, and held it up with a grin like a Cheshire Cat.

 

The audience went wild, they wanted to see Gina do the Iron Ore Rock trick. But within seconds, the roars turned to boos, as Gina whipped out a big silver texta with her free hand, and wrote on the rock, "Ha ha, Suckers and Losers, I've got all the Iron Ore and all the money!", and her grin got bigger and bigger, until........

[Captain]

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

"Ha ha, Suckers and Losers, I've got all the Iron Ore and all the money!", and her grin got bigger and bigger, until.......

.... OT responded with a brief reference to the Turbine Corporation and his mate Turdo/Jeffrey.

 

Gina went quiet and a bit moribund, and that .....

[turboplanner]

......prompted Turbo to come to her aid by saying he didn't really have all that money, he only had a few billion, and Gina smiled again but no one was to know how devious she was although Cappy had an inkling........

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......prompted Turbo to come to her aid by saying he didn't really have all that money, he only had a few billion, and Gina smiled again but no one was to know how devious she was although Cappy had an inkling........

..... because the "Great Ink Scandal" of '85 (or the GIS as it became known in Cappy's legal circles) was still front of mind, and this had caused a .....

Edited Friday at 08:02 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........rare rift between Cappy and Turbo. 

Most millenials would be unaware of this , but before '85 (so "last Century) there was no Internet and there were no PCs in the general population.

We all carried Pens in our front shirt pocket and were judged by a hierarcy of pen lables. Cappy, with his British background was a Parker man, and you had to pay 8 pounds for one, so only the rich, or in Cappy's case "Nouveau Riche" could afford them. Top of the brands for ink was Quink which  was equally expensive. The Quink ink manufacturing company was owned by Solomon Turbine, who had searched the world for the most beautiful blue dye he could find. This was important in two ways; firstly to have an attractive appearance on the expensive parchment used to write letters and secondly when the non-Parker fountain pens leaked in your front pocket just as you entered a room for a meeting, the stain was acceptable.

Cappy was snakey at having to buy ink from Solomon so he.........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy was snakey at having to buy ink from Solomon so he.....

..... formed the Cook Squid and Octopus Harvesting Company which was, ostensibly, just active to give them a quick squeeze once caught, harvest the ink, and chuck them back with no harm done, except for the animals wondering "WTF was that?".

 

The ink was ultimately processed and marketed by the Cook Octopus and Squid Company (the initial COSCO before it became a worldwide phenomenon under Cappy's leadership).

 

However it was soon realised that most of the cash was in the bits that were being chucked, so at midnight each evening a black painted stealth hydrofoil high speed vessel would arrive and transfer the fleshy bits so that only ink tanks were visible when the Inspectors arrived.

 

This is when bull and Cappy first met as bull was the sneaky skipper (SS), and this suited him so well, as he hid his black boat in the mangroves around Bone & unloaded it into a fleet of Freightliners during the morning, got paralytic at the Bone Rissole in the arvo, and then came ......

Edited Friday at 06:53 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

...into town to the Bone Writing Room to play. In those legacy days at the get go of the final days of the last century, Writing Rooms had been invented and spread from town to town. A journalist was appointed by the town newsapaper and he  (the women were home cooking dinner) was there to help those who had never been to school (a fair percentage of the Writing Room in some States). The writers would make their statements using their free pens, and "post" the statements in a slot under the journalist's desk. You could use your pen's name or even post as Anonymous. Some people would post in as many as 16 different names and have them picking on someone in the town , the government, each other or the local cop. At closing time the journalist would collect all the "posts" and publish them the next week.

bull "posted" in the name of Brutus, with the tag line "Brutus adsum iam forte; Caesar adsum tu". The Journalist in the town got to know who was writing the "posts" because as the writers got up to ask for help he'd see the "poster" name and quickly got to remember the writing, so when someone wrote  "Journalists are XXXXX" thinking they were safe, he would write his own story for the paper .........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

so when someone wrote  "Journalists are XXXXX" thinking they were safe, he would write his own story for the paper .........

.... with a thumbs down emoji, although they didn’t exist at the time, so he used his box brownie to take a photo of bull giving a thumbs-down after have a skinfull, a bad keg, and getting a knockback at the Rissole.

 

bull's thumb therefore became famous Aussie wide once the newspaper became syndicated and bull was .....

[turboplanner]

.......famous Australia-wide, but not in the name we've come to know and love; he went by the name of LLub from Latvia, and no one ever guessed it was old bull.

Cappy of course pretended he was bull's thumb and the fan mail from the chicks kept him skinny for years until one day one of them, a veteran of the early B&S culture at Balranald who carted 20,000 bales of hay every summer tracked the newspaper down and showed up at the Kapooka  Writing Room just as ........

[bull]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......famous Australia-wide, but not in the name we've come to know and love; he went by the name of LLub from Latvia, and no one ever guessed it was old bull.

Cappy of course pretended he was bull's thumb and the fan mail from the chicks kept him skinny for years until one day one of them, a veteran of the early B&S culture at Balranald who carted 20,000 bales of hay every summer tracked the newspaper down and showed up at the Kapooka  Writing Room just as ........

...........Bulls lawyer started to speak,,,,All use of the thumbs down emoji will from this moment on cease until a royalty agreement with the copywrite owner {Bull} is arranged. Also all carriers and browsers and phones and computers etc will be henceforth charged a use fee each time it is used.   From up the back a squeaky voice said ,,Bull me old mate ,could i get an exclusive use contract?.............

[turboplanner]

......and then "What's a carrier?. what's a browser?, what's a computer?"

bull had stepped into a time warp, and although the face staring at him looked familiar he couldn't remember who it was. He vaguely ........