The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......say "How much you offerin' Bro?"

The Vice Chancellor nearly crapped himself, knowing that if the University gave Kim the skills he needed with a BeatingTrump Degree it might become know that  BUGC was a fake, so he .........

[Captain]

.... decided to take the contrary approach and .....

[onetrack]

.....advised Kim that beating Trump at his own game would take more than a BUGC degree, and he suggested he'd be more than able to assist Kim in acquiring more.........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....advised Kim that beating Trump at his own game would take more than a BUGC degree, and he suggested he'd be more than able to assist Kim in acquiring more.........

.... substantive and relevant qualifications that will provide the necessary oompf (a definitive university technical term which is also an avref that describes the power of a 916iS Rotax) to enable .......

Edited Sunday at 02:52 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........Kim, to stop whining (anothert term describing the envronmental noise of a Rotax), and get on with it.

Kim introduced ground-breaking anti-whining laws and the population.......

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Kim, to stop whining (anothert term describing the envronmental noise of a Rotax), and get on with it.

Kim introduced ground-breaking anti-whining laws and the population.......

.... therefore undertook a complete reevaluation of Jabiru engines for use below 150 hp, but those favoring water cooling and gearboxes still whined on, and on, and on, like their engines, about the merits of .......

Edited Sunday at 04:30 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

......rivetting the hoses on instead of using hose clamps.

The argument lasted through 1500 posts, with some arguing that the water leaks out and others arguing who needs it and yet others wanting to know who was going to Old Station again this year and a few quietly asking how to straighten a nose wheel when it .........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

and a few quietly asking how to straighten a nose wheel when it .......

..... has been wheelbarrowed for 700 m down a bumpy grass strip.

 

The answers to the straightening question sucked in a large number of stewed-ants who were anxious to learn what the technique should be to counter wheelbarrowing, and they did not accept bull's response of "get a tail wheel, ya mugs" too well.

 

But it was ......

[onetrack]

.....one Kiwis idea to design an aircraft that used both a nosewheel and a tailwheel, that caused a revolution in the recreational aviation field. "It luks like a shupping trulley!" exclaimed another Kiwi aviator, who bore a great resemblance to.........

[turboplanner]

.......Fred from IGA.

"Uf you luft the nose wheel sux or suvn unchs the mine wull always hut."

and the posts started again, quite a few saying "Been rubbing noses again?"

Thus started a ...........

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......Fred from IGA.

"Uf you luft the nose wheel sux or suvn unchs the mine wull always hut."

and the posts started again, quite a few saying "Been rubbing noses again?"

Thus started a ...........

..... very unusual practice of Kiwis rubbishing Aussies and the Skippies doing likewise.

 

This led to the NZ Prime Minister mimicking bowling under-arm every time he (or she) came to Canberra, and the Aussie PM walking everywhere in OZ & NZ with a large toy fluffy sheep named Brenda, sewn onto the front of his dacks.

 

But the jokes stopped when ......

Edited Monday at 11:41 AM by Captain

[bull]

On 17/02/2025 at 11:44 AM, onetrack said:

.....one Kiwis idea to design an aircraft that used both a nosewheel and a tailwheel, that caused a revolution in the recreational aviation field. "It luks like a shupping trulley!" exclaimed another Kiwi aviator, who bore a great resemblance to.........

.like this?https://www.facebook.com/scott.d.evans.7/videos/1966088716841

[turboplanner]

                                                                                                                  and who also looked like the legendary Howard Hughes. Not many people know that Howard started his legendary aircraft design career when he was paid two bucks to clean out his uncle's backyard. He kept a length of pipe and some steel scraps, a heap of woven plastic and an old Monarch mower motor and designed the modern bra we know so well and which has supported women better than many husbands.

 

Becoming bored, he grabbed one of the canteen's plastic chairs, bolted it to the pipe and by the following lunchtime had produced the Hughes MK1, which broke the record from Hokitika to ...............

[Captain]

..... Whakatane, where the airstrip (avref) can be ......

[turboplanner]

.......long or short depending on the tide,  and where 87 years ago old Donald......

 

[Turbo has been there and asked them whether he did; but he didn't.]

 

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... long or short depending on the tide,  and where 87 years ago old Donald ......

..... Te Wiki claimed that his grandfather had been the original Mauri and had been given permission by the gods to kill all of the Moa, to use their feathers to stuff palliasses which would be utilised for any ladies that he found to lay upon.

 

Donald still had lots of Moa feathers in storage in a warehouse in Gizzbourne and he had approached .....

Edited Wednesday at 02:50 PM by Captain

[onetrack]

......the Turbine Feather Pillow Manufacturing Group Inc., to see if they could use some extra feathers, going cheap. At the sound of the word "cheap", the CEO of TFPMG, one Willie McCloud Turbine, who had invented the Feather Pillow during a lull in fighting between the Highlanders and the English in 1746 ( a battle otherwise known as the Battle of Culloden - but which was known in the McCloud Turbine family as, "jist another wee skirmish wi' da Sassenachs!"), pricked up his ears.

 

It was this need for peaceful rest during warring events, that led to wee Wullie (as he was known) to experiment with a range of various feathers to determine the best sleep quality of each type.

 

Of course, Moa feathers, being an expensive import, were bypassed by Willie as too costly (penny-pinching runs in the McCloud Turbine family branch), and he settled on various other feathers, finally determining that ducks slept best out of all the birds, so duck feathers had to be the correct choice for that era.

 

But moving forward to the McCloud Turbine Clan's time in Australia, and with a need to find more feathers as the duck feather supply was dwindling, due to too many Victorian duck shooters, and he saw in the Moa feathers offering, a real opportunity to...........

[turboplanner]

.................con the Australians with his research, but he made the mistake of outlining it to Bull (not bull) Two Tracks who was a shift little prick and quickly started advertising "Moa" feathers, which were really Kiwi feathers and necessitated killing millions of these gentle bird, prompting David Attenborough Turbine to campaign against it in a most convinciing way, and BTT Fluff (NZ) Pty Ltd was out of business until .........

[Captain]

..... it was explained that the "fluff" in the BTT Fluff NZ company name was not methane related, but instead referred to the soft and downy sensation that is provided by .....

[turboplanner]

.....the effervescence of the active hydrogen-based product which BTT Fluff NZ produced. The National Marketing Manager of BTTF assisted by his blonde Secretary entertained his thousands of potential investors at the Taupo Hilton with a dazzling series of PowerPoint, Video and stories showing the future potential of Fluff sales around the world culminating with the secretive confidential news that BTTF would be taking advantage of the waste hyydrogen to power cars and trucks throughout New Zealand from a network of 700 Fluff Entertainment Centres where you could fill up in 90 seconds then relax for a free 6 hours, claiming it on expenses the same as the EV jockeys did.

There was a surge of sales from Picton to Bay of Islands until someone hit X with the story that the product was just water...................

Edited Wednesday at 06:23 PM by turboplanner

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

There was a surge of sales from Picton to Bay of Islands until someone hit X with the story that the product was just water ......

..... but that integral with each sale was a written commitment from the purchaser to support Nuclear Energy, and to be 100% in favour of the Green New Deal that was proposed by Charlie Green, which involved building cheek by joule, new 10 storey blocks of waterfront home units & tunnels on all NZ rivers and inlets, then selling them to Palestinian immigrants fresh out of Gaza.

 

The Gazans loved Fluff, & Charlie, as did the Israeli hostages that each family brought with them, so NZ set the standard for immigrant housing & integration, by issuing ......

Edited Wednesday at 08:09 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

$500,000.00 grants (AU?50.00) for housing and entertainment and two sheep per person.

There were no complaints from the Indigenous New Zealanders because the Bros were all living in Australia picking grapes, on the mines or conducting Welcome to Country ceremonies for Turbine WC Ltd.

 

Turbine WC had made a fortune by undercutting the traditional welcome TC people with a Special Price of $740.00 each, The Councils, desperate for savings had picked it up the deal to save money and the bros got a pig on a spit dinner for every new Council signed up. Soon the aotearoa tribe's Native Title push netted them 35% of Australia, until.......

 

[Captain]

40 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine WC had made a fortune by undercutting the traditional welcome TC people with a Special Price of $740.00 each, The Councils, desperate for savings had picked it up the deal to save money and the bros got a pig on a spit dinner for every new Council signed up. Soon the aotearoa tribe's Native Title push netted them 35% of Australia, until......

..... the great Turbine WtC scandal, where Cappy and Turbs, who have both been certified as 1.5% aboriginal (due to indiscretional dalliances by their great, great, grandfathers), performed what would become a very seminal Welcome TC at the Rockhampton Show ("seminal" in this case means strongly influencing later developments, ..... not as it relates to the donation of semen).

 

Both were wearing lap laps and stomping + jumping, imitating the rainbow wombat, when, during a critical part of the ceremony, their private bits feel out the side and dangled there, glinting in the lights of the showground, while .....

 

Some critics have called this a coordinated costume malfunction, but it was purely accidental and based on the weight of their junk, and the diagonal strength of the material in the lap lap.

Edited Wednesday at 09:07 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......the crowd had rushed across from the bull riding when they heard Turbo's pedal steel guitar crying out the song of the Rainbow Circuit, while Cappy danced and clicked the sticks.

He only took his eye off the sticks for a second but there was a thud rather than a click and Cappy had clapped one of his bits .......

[bull]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......the crowd had rushed across from the bull riding when they heard Turbo's pedal steel guitar crying out the song of the Rainbow Circuit, while Cappy danced and clicked the sticks.

He only took his eye off the sticks for a second but there was a thud rather than a click and Cappy had clapped one of his bits .......

.....of out of date...................