turboplanner Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Sorry girls I've been busy. Admin Message: You're on the wrong thread - you should be on Darksarcasm's thread with the girls. That's what comes of posting on four threads at once The NES crew had been blown away by the hyeractivity of Deccadence last night. "Everywhere you looked, he was on a post chatting up some female" said Turbo, who had been trying out various costumes in preparation for the Dalby Hair Show......
turboplanner Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 "We are from 'Toria and we are here to help" they all said in their big tough truckie voices. "And we have arranged a Village People show for the disadvantaged people of Dalby, called DalbAid ..................... because yez are from Queensland and need assistance" said the biggest Semi-Driver in the cowboy outfit. "But" he added with a wink and a wiggle, "We have changed the lineup just a little bit as we have me (silly) and I'm a Cowboy, we have a Flight Engineer off a 3 holer, a CASA Inspector, A Truck Designer, A prospective RAA Board Member, An Administrator, A Fireman, a Tunnel Rat and a ........" The Ratphone rang. "Have you heard from Tomo?" asked Turboconstruction worker. "No" said a frustrated El Ratto, "Queensland only has one telephone line out from Brisbane and they have to book call timers, but we'll take it that the Dalby Progress Association have agreed to the show on the airfield." "There's plenty of space there so we can runa BNS in conjunction, and offer parking and overnight camping on the strip with Ute Working on the runup area" said Turbo. "Oh and something else; Bigphart phoned to see he'd supply the food if we took him on as a roadie. There was only one condition and that was we had to allow him to park his spotted thing (which had faded to look more like a short necked giraffe) in the foyer"...................
Guest Decca Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 ...but Bigphart still has to told if we carefully rip the the wings off to get it through the foyer rotating shredder door we can hang it from the chandelier & it will look more like a Big Cat in full flight.....
turboplanner Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 ...but Bigphart still has to told if we carefully rip the the wings off to get it through the foyer rotating shredder door we can hang it from the chandelier & it will look more like a Big Cat in full flight..... "That's the stuff", Deccabiker said TurboConstructionworker, "we'll need to repaint it to match the stage theme of course, so could you go down to Bunnings and get some Puce for us?"....
planedriver Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 "That's the stuff", Deccabiker said TurboConstructionworker, "we'll need to repaint it to match the stage theme of course, so could you go down to Bunnings and get some Puce for us?".... Not quite convinced about Deccabikers idea yet with the fling-wing shredder door, we have a TurboConstructionworker at hand, but do we need a BobTheBuilder as well:question:
turboplanner Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Not quite convinced about Deccabikers idea yet with the fling-wing shredder door, we have a TurboConstructionworker at hand, but do we need a BobTheBuilder as well:question: "Yes", said Deccadent "Would you mind, old chap dropping in to the supermarket and picking up some strong deodorant?" "Why?" said Bobthebuilder, unaware that Bigphart had been sleeping in the Sheeter at every display..... "And get some Ratsack while you're at it", yelled TurboConstructionWorker who was hammering at the head of the Rotex.
Guest Decca Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 30/07/09 at 8:17pm TurboConstructor notices Deccadence is in spasms of laughter and falls off his seat. Edits are caused by the simplest things. “Awful lonely around here” observed Tomo. Planedriver hangs around like a spare chock, or the groupie at the Oaks, waiting to get his hands on anything with wings. Turboconstructor drives the sparkplug home with one final blow and sets the ratsack trap. Decca bids $2 for the gold molar…..
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Turboconstructor drives the sparkplug home with one final blow and sets the ratsack trap. Decca bids $2 for the gold molar….. Flip Flop Flip Flop Flip Flop....the near empty Nikes driven by two scrawny feet make their way home. "Who's this Snake in the Grass?" asks The Rat, making a note to use an elastrator on Deccadence.
ahlocks Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "Ssshh!" whispered O'loch "Be very very quiet...."Don't want to scare 'em off just yet" cautioned O'Loch. "Revenge is a dish best served cold." :vis: Dika, being a genuine industry professional :DevilDog:(and quite studly according to one particular source :spruce_up:) understood that outing alteregos :pc strikes back: that are big noting themselves elsewhere (:csm:) is been much more sporting that caneing the carp out of Evinrudes or counting rivets as of late. "At least we know we just making up stories in NES" added...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "At least we know we just making up stories in NES" added... .....ditDOT, looking up from his homework which involved taking a triangle and finding how many sausages were in it without being obtuse.....
Guest Decca Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Fearing nothing more than a waterfight, Deccadent orders just 2 of the 2 Snake Gully Fire trucks to be on standby, fully crewed...
ahlocks Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "Oh dear!!" gasped O'Loch "Dika must think that he's the 'snakes in grass' that are being hunted!! Unless he's into tarted up street cars or gravel trucks, it couldn't be so." :ne_nau: "We'll... If you knew Dika like we do :killen: , you could see how that mistake could be made.." cooed a member of his harem. "They named a valley after him for a reason. :heart::heart: With that cleared up :run:, the Snake Valley tanker crew stood down. But the crew chief was having a hell of a time getting the female crew members to pay attention....:spruce_up:
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 .....The Rat was becoming mildy annoyed, because Deccadence had the girls, and he had the job of putting up the DalbAid posters. He'd made an interstate trip each week paperlaying throughout western NSW and SW Queensland and his armes were tired and his tounge, that skinny, skinny tongue was swollen from licking the glue. He arrived back in Wagga on Wagga with only three posters left and being a good Rat rather than just a rat, had just posted two when he heard the sound of an engine and a Police Van appeared around the corner. Out stepped Madam Doubtfire.......
Guest Decca Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Out stepped Madam Doubtfire....... “OK girls“, said O’Locks, “arm yourselves with rake-hoes and we’ll march on Dalby”. “But first we’ll call into Wagga and help with the posters, then we’ll spend a while at Narrowmind digging up some evidence for Big P so he’s not bombarded with 4,000 pm’s”. That’ll kill 2 birds, because we can prove to Dika (and everyone else) that he’s not the evil villain that he thought he was being accused of”. “What’s more, you may take turns at carrying your lxxxxeader in the sedan chair” Where were we? Out stepped Madam D:Who????????....... edit: I've still got some catching up to do!
ahlocks Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "G'day, G'day, G'day" said Madam Doubtfire. "It's Constable Doubtfire to you sweetheart." she said as she ambled toward Dika.:mulie: "You don't get too call me 'madam' :smooch: until we get to know each other a little better, if you know what I mean" :bmwrider: El Ratto whinced :doh:as recalled the trauma that was caused to his tail the last time Doubtfire was around. Being a cunning rat, he could forsee what Doubtfire had in store for dika..... ================= Hmmm, 'Rakehoe'...Dika knows the jargon ....in the garden.:cool_shades:
planedriver Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Hmmm' date=' 'Rakehoe'...Dika knows the jargon ....in the garden.:cool_shades:[/color'] Dika's very knowledgable in the garden:construction: . Also being a man of the world, he was not too peturbed as he could see:private eyes: right through Doubtfires advances, and is also a Master at the rituals of the clover:ecstatic:. The worrying question is----------who is crossdressing as Madam Doubtfire:question:
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "Ah, that's the burning question" said Turbo "We think we know who he is; we think it's one of the local bullies, but how he gets the uniform and the car we're not sure"......
Captain Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "Ah, that's the burning question" said Turbo "We think we know who he is; we think it's one of the local bullies, but how he gets the uniform and the car we're not sure"...... ..... and then they noticed that Doubtfire's patrol car had ACT plates. "It can't be" said the Rat, always loyal to the management. "We had better check out that police car in more detail" said McJockLocks "And what's this?" he added with excitement. "Most NSW Police cars now have paw prints on them" responded Snr Constanble Doubtfire with his/her best "assured" voice. "Is that you under that makeup and stockings, Slarti?" asked the Rat. "Surely .........
Captain Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 The DeccaPython and the BangholmeFlyer are having a race ........... Who will win? It was ...................... see post #2299
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "Surely ......... "....Nart" said Doubtfire effecting the irish accent popular with New York cops who came from Nebraska "What are these then?, asked L'Rat looking at several hundred photocopies on the front seat, all showing a jerry built plane with an appallingly tasteless paint scheme. "Have you been at the photocopier in the detectives' room?" said L'Rat who'd been dragged in there many times on suspicion of ratting their biscuits. "None of your business!" shouted the Officer....but was it?
Guest Decca Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 If Deccadent hadn't heard the latest secrets of the NES he would have said "Madam Doubtfire come with me, I'll get to the bottom of this". But being a (real) man of the world, according to Planey, opted out of any undercover police action. He just wasn't too sure how far the marriage laws went in CTA....
Captain Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "...."None of your business!" shouted the Officer....but was it? Then the Ahlovackian continued his probing questioning, the skills for which he learnt when he spent a holiday in a secret camp in Slovenia. "Then answer this .... if you can .... with a straight face .... do you know a lot about computers and computing practice, were you involved in an unfortunate incident at Goulburn Airport some time ago, can you take good photos, and have you banned a forum member (and enjoyed it)?" Madam Doubtfire raised herself up to her full height, adjusted her wig, loosened her bra, and said "I am ........
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Then the Ahlovackian continued his probing questioning, the skills for which he learnt when he spent a holiday in a secret camp in Slovenia. "Then answer this .... if you can .... with a straight face .... do you know a lot about computers and computing practice, were you involved in an unfortunate incident at Goulburn Airport some time ago, can you take good photos, and have you banned a forum member (and enjoyed it)?" Madam Doubtfire raised herself up to her full height, adjusted her wig, loosened her bra, and said "I am ........ "...refusing to answer those questions on the grounds that it may incriminate me" said Doubtfire, switching to a Queensland police officer's accent (they were taught not to add Ay to every sentence). The former Ustachi operative ntried a different tack. "Are you aware of a certain serpent reclining in the undergrowth?" he asked. "That's me mate!" Doubtfire responded, quickly putting her/his/its hand over her/his/its mouth and realising this story has legs......
Captain Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 "..."That's me mate!" Doubtfire responded, quickly putting her/his/its hand over her/his/its mouth and realising this story has legs...... ... "and pretty rugged legs they are too" responded Ahlockivski, who had seen a few in his time "But it appears that you have been waxing 'em, Madam, and doesn't it make your eyes water when you wax all the way up to THERE? At least it did when I tried lt last week" said McJock. "Eeeeeeoooohhhwww" yelled the Rat as he dry-heaved "Does that mean there is no undergrowth in which the serpent can recline?" "That's me" reponded madambartfast "And I .............
turboplanner Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 "....am here to help you". Ratto heard a noise coming from a dark Alley (Wagga is a dark alley), and saw the bedraggled form of Deccadent on hands and knees making his way back to his car. "Good evening Madam" he said starting to run.....
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now