The Never Ending Story

[Admin]

Ok all, seeing we have a zillion pages about an aircraft on a conveyor belt I thought I would start a never ending story.

 

It goes like this...every one adds a post that adds a bit to the story but at the end of their post they always leave it with an opening for the next post to continue it on.

 

Lets see how many pages of posts we can get creating the never ending story and have a laugh as we go - oh, it has to be about flying as well :big_grin:

 

The start....

 

After a long night morning finally came with the sun breaking through the window as Mr Ford Prefect (also known as Jabiru Joe) woke to suddenly find that....

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

someone had stolen his landing strip, at least he thought it was stolen. It was there in his paddock when he left it last night but it was definately gone now.

 

He rang his next door neighbour, Tony Tecnam, who said, "..................

 

 

[BigPete]

"look Mr Defect, I'm sick and tired of you having a few drinks, waking in the morning and looking out the wrong window. Give your head a shake, go to the other sie of the house and look to the EAST - your strip is where you left it"

 

Joe went to the other side and looked out - sure enough the strip was there, he swore to himself never to mix his beers again. Suddenly he heard the sound of an approaching aircraft......

 

 

[Admin]

He looked out and saw that the aircraft wasn't actually approaching but was at full throttle...was it moving he thought to himself...he couldn't decide and then suddenly saw that someone had placed on his airstrip a...

 

 

[Methusala]

Thruster which, rather cleverly , does all the things that other aircraft do while creating the impression that it is standing still! Mr Naughty took a strong pull on his "heart starter" and rang his other neighbor....

 

 

[Guest Redair]

"Hello Mr Neighbour, can you switch off your conveyor belt so that the Thruster can get somewhere?" he asked... but his neighbour said...

 

 

[hihosland]

Sorry can't help;-

 

Biggles has borrowed the conveyorbelt operations manual

 

 

[motzartmerv]

"thats ok" he said, "its not taking off, so brent c owes me $150 skins, hang on and ill call him up, actually, i better film it on my handycam" he got his cam goin but to his surprise....

 

 

[Guest airsick]

by the time the cam had powered up the Thruster had overcome the small amount of friction in the wheels and was moving depsite the best efforts of the conveyor belt. As the neighbour looked over his shoulder he saw Brent coming towrds him shouting, "Hey, ...

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

if I tie this here rope to one of the things here hanging off the plane."

 

"That would be one of the wheels" said, Jabi Joe "And then if Slarti were to go into the back of the pickup with the other end of the rope and sit down and wait for my next instruction." said Brent. "Now, if the owner of that truck, who is it? hihosland is it? Can you jump in and take off to approx V2, "

 

"How much is that?" said hiho.

 

"About 50MPH should do it." said Brent.

 

And then they were off. Hiho peddalling the truck with all his might, fortunately he was on the grass, not on the runway, Slarti in the back of the truck holding onto his end of the rope, the other end attached to one of the wheel things on the plane.

 

When suddenly, they were off........at least........the thruster was.......but unfortunately, there was no-one in the pilots seat.......but up, up up it went until it was nearly 500 ft high and underneath it, dangling 20 feet below was Slarti holding on to the rope....................................

 

 

[ahlocks]

"...., isn't it amazing how people will argue over the simplest of things. It keeps them going for months!"

 

With that, Jabiru Joe nodded thoughtfully and added "You know that shaft drive motorcycles can't pop wheelies because....."

 

 

[eastmeg2]

Forget motorbikes for now, in case you hadn't noticed, poor Slarti is dangling from a rope under a pilotless Thruster in flight !!!

 

Luckily for Slarti he remembered his kite flying and Microlight days which had taught him the secrets of . . .

 

 

[motzartmerv]

...controlling panic. He reached for his swiss army knife which was the deluxe model that came out with a personel parashute, brent looked up and decided that with the $150 he'd saved when the thruster defied the laws of thermal dynamics and took off he'd buy one of those swissarmy knives, but before he knew it...

 

 

[Guest Fred Bear]

He changed his mind about cutting the rope (remember it's Slarti dangling here)...instead he remebered his training from the SAS 'How to climb up a rope into the sky'. "Just...a...little...further", Slarti said as he struggled with all his might to climb the rope. The sound of the aircraft was deafening. "That...damn...Rotax", Slarti gritted through his teeth. Finally, windblown, Slarti made it up into the cockpit. He strapped himself in and prepared to fly a flying machine he had never flown before when coming towards him (at high speed) was Disperse in his newly purchased Millenium Master...

 

 

[Guest airsick]

Bang. The noise was deafening as the two machines collided into each other as though one was a motorbike and the other a VW Golf. Slarti's reaction time was swift his reaction time was able to help him out. He had not put his knife away after he decided not to cut the rope and this enabled him to deploy the personal parachute and float gently to the ground. The story for Disperse, although it also came with with a happy ending, was somewhat different...

 

 

[ahlocks]

Being a cunning trucker... Disperse had fitted his millenium with an exhaust brake and loud air horn, the use of which saved the day by clearing Slarti's preoccupation with putting cat spots on the thruster.

 

After impact and as Disperse glided gently to the ground, he saw a traffic cop (on a shaft drive motorbike) and RTA awaiting below....

 

 

[Methusala]

the clever Thruster ( well much cleverer than a motorbike anyhow) as it ran out of energy and landed back on mr Clever's Easterly facing strip. I'll show these fantastic plastics a thing or 2 as he groundlooped to a dusty halt...

 

 

[jordy]

Shaking his head violently to clear clear the effects of the collision Disperse quickly realised that his lot was up if he was to stay stapped in the disintergrating wreck that once was his dream machine. Summoning all the skills he had learned as a master in the dreaded art of origami he quickly fashioned a make shift hang glider out of the masses of second hand Chzechoslovakian newspaper floating past him that used to be an integeral part of his planes structure. (Thankfully there was copious amounts enabling to fashion a craft of some syle) Kicking free and launching himself from the falling now scavanged wreck he set off down towards the gently floating Slarti with one thing on his mind...........

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

The motorbike cop skidded to a stop and dismounted from the big shaftdrive machine, and began slowly moving to where Slarti lay. Everyone stared at the oddly dressed motorbike cop clad in thick leather, although they wondered why there seemed to be a panel clipped on by press studs over the nether regions and two pitot tube covers attached to the cops chest.

 

Slowly the cop took off the leather gloves and then removed her helmet. She shook her hair about and then everybody gasped when the recognised who she was.

 

"Bronwyn Bishop, what are you doing here. I mean, it's only Monday and you don't normally appear in my dreams until Thursday" cried Slarti.

 

"Be quiet Slarti, and you know not to call me that. What are you supposed to call me"

 

"Yes, Mistress of desire, I'm sorry." said Slarti.

 

Bronwyn Bishop then procured a large whip from one of the pockets in her uniform and raised it to the heavens. "You need to be punished now Slarti, pull down your pants, and for gods sake wipe off some of that sludge from your leg."

 

Suddenly, just then, a shot rang out.

 

Everyone turned their heads to the hills to see where the sound came from......

 

There sitting on a silver horse sat Dick Smith.....Dirty Dick Smith......the maddest baddest hombre west of the Rockies......................

 

 

[BigPete]

"Whoa thar Bronwyn Bitch" (nee Bishop) said Dirty Dick. "is this a gun in my pocket" he said in an unusaual high pitched voice. "geez ya jatz crckers don't half take a pounding in these genuine imitation 100 per cent vinal leather saddle imported from China (and available free with the purchase of 10 or more imitation Scrotax pull and starter ropes. Bronwyn started to reach into her oversized breast pocket (the pocket was oversized) and pulled out.......

 

 

[Admin]

ok good fun but I must intervene - PLEASE keep it clean (some verses have been edited..sorry)

[ahlocks]

....and pulled out ...a large garbage bag and told Slarti to clean himself up and then throw the remains of the thruster into it. We've only got one Australia so keep it clean!

 

Dirty Dick then began to blabber how this whole incident would not have occurred had the conveyer been at an airfield with a Unicom and the aircraft had ADB-S because...

 

 

[Jabiru Phil]

... when you you play back the Cam recorder at a certain speed, you will note that the wheels on the conveyor are actually going BACKWARDS and further more...

 

 

[Guest Redair]

if you put that big shaft-drive bike on the conveyor at the same time as the Thruster, you can make it wheelie. OK then, lets try it said Slarti, and asked the cop for a borrow of her bike. Fat chance said the cop, not on my bike. I know said Disperse, I think Redair is trying to sell one of those beautiful BMW K1100LT bikes, and that's a shaft-drive, why don't we all chip in and buy that? Excellent idea said Brent c, here's $150 to get you started, now all we need.....

 

 

[ahlocks]

...is some spanners to rip the heart out of that BMW and bolt it to something that flies!

 

Hey, we've got some black plastic and aluminium tubes let's get back to the basics. We'll use the conveyer belt as a bungee and ....