Guest palexxxx Posted April 30, 2008 Posted April 30, 2008 Try this experiment: Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the Boot, who is really happy to see you?
Seal Posted May 3, 2008 Posted May 3, 2008 Why was the solicitor in the boot? N.. I don know, but he was in there with your wife.
facthunter Posted May 4, 2008 Posted May 4, 2008 Further on.. Perhaps he will take over the payments. (Hypothetical,) as for a wife, mine's very good. I'm lucky that way. Nev..
boleropilot Posted May 4, 2008 Posted May 4, 2008 hee hee i got a dog for my wife it was a good swap................ bp
Yenn Posted May 5, 2008 Posted May 5, 2008 Most of the solicitors I know could be wives, not husbands!
planedriver Posted May 5, 2008 Posted May 5, 2008 I had one once, but at least the dog was pleased to see me when I came home from work.
Seal Posted May 8, 2008 Posted May 8, 2008 I had one once, ... Was that a dog, a wife or a solicitor.:big_grin: And just in case the management reads this, mine´s a goodun, I wouldn´t swap her for a dog and, as far as that goes, I wouldn´t swap the dog for a solicitor either.
Seal Posted May 9, 2008 Posted May 9, 2008 Hey, steady on there, that would mean that one hand knew what the other one was doing. Can´t have that sort of thing going on, its not the done thing you know.;)
Ben Longden Posted May 10, 2008 Posted May 10, 2008 'specially with solicitors..... Ooops, did I just say that? Ben
planedriver Posted May 11, 2008 Posted May 11, 2008 One morning at the law office, one lawyer looked at the other and said, "Wow, you look really crook this morning." The other lawyer replied, "Yeah, I woke up with a headache this morning and, no matter what I try, I can't seem to get rid of it." The first lawyer told him, "Whenever I get a headache like that, I take a few hours off during the day, go home, and make love to my wife. Works every time for me." Later that afternoon, the two lawyers met again. The first told the second, "You know, you look 100% better than this morning." The second replied, "Yeah, that was great advice you gave me. Oh! and by the way you have a beautiful house too".:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:
planedriver Posted May 11, 2008 Posted May 11, 2008 She: You just don't seem to care about me anymore! He: You're just upset. Why don't I buy you something to make you feel better? She: Like what? He: How about a trip to America? She: No. He: What about a new Jaguar? She: No. He: Well, what DO you want? She: A divorce. He: (Pause) I wasn't planning on spending that much. ( I can relate to this, as it hit me about the time I was going to buy myself a Grumman Tiger) I donated my nice six bedroom home:censored:, but I do still have the old push-bike.
planedriver Posted May 11, 2008 Posted May 11, 2008 NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T." The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer to Mars.":hittinghead:
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