Testimonials

[Ewen McPhee]

Two young Australian Pilot Students tracing their roots back to the UK found themselves short of money.

 

One said to the other “We need to get a job, I'll slip down and get the Times."

 

When he returned he was pointing excitedly to one of the positions vacant ads: "Wanted, Footmen (2). Apply Buckingham Palace."

 

Tidying themselves up, they went to the Palace to present themselves and their sad financial plight to the Queen's secretary. He was quite impressed, and eventually said, "Well I'll have to see the Lady. She does all the hiring and firing around here. Just wait in the anteroom and I'll see what gives."

 

After a short while the secretary returned, accompanied by the Queen. She told them that whilst in the employ of Buckingham Palace, they would be required to wear Black Velvet pantaloons, white stockings and black shoes with silver buckles. They agreed.

 

She then added: "When we go to Balmoral it will be necessary for you to wear the Kilt, and to wear the Kilt you must have good shapely legs." After a moments hesitation, and the urgings of their financial necessity, they both dropped their trousers for inspection.

 

"Very good, very good," muttered the Queen approvingly, "Now, could we see your testimonials?"

 

As they walked down the drive of Buckingham Palace, kicking up the dusty red gravel, one student turned to his mate and said with a slight tone of disgust, "You know, we might have got that job, if the standard of education had been slightly higher in high school...."