Guest disperse Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I love this DOCTOR!!!! > > HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION > > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is > this true? > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... > Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. > Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like > saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? > Take a nap. > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? > > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? > Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing > more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. > Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass > (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your > recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? > > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled > wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get > even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. > Bottoms up! > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? > > A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one > to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular > exercise program? > > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No > Pain...Good! > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? > > A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in > vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting > more vegetables be bad for you? > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft > around the middle? > > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. > You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Is chocolate bad for me? > > A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the > best feel-good food around! ! > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Is swimming good for your figure? > > A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? > > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! ! > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > --- > - > > Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have > had about food and diets. > > And remember: > > > > 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of > arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather > to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other > - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, 'WOO HOO, > What a Ride!'
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now