The Smiths

[Thruster87]

/The Smiths// //were unable to conceive children and decided to use a// //surrogate father to start their family.. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should// //be here soon.'

 

Half an hour later,// //just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer// //happened to ring the doorbell,// //hoping// //to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

 

'Oh, no need to explain,'// //Mrs.Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

 

'Have you really?'// //said the photographer.// //'Well, that's good.

 

Did you know babies are my specialty?'

 

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.// //Please come in and have a seat'.

 

After a moment she asked, blushing,// //'Well, where do we start?'

 

'Leave everything to me.// //I// //usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the// //bed.// //And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You// //can really spread out there.'

 

'Bathtub, living room floor?// //No// //wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

 

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.// //But if we try several different positions and I shoot from// //six or seven angles,// //I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

 

'My, that's a lot!',// //gasped Mrs. Smith.

 

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and// //out in five minutes,// //but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

 

'Don't I know it,'// //said Mrs. Smith quietly.// / /The photographer opened his briefcase and// //pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.// //'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

 

'Oh, my word!'// //Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat..

 

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well -// //when you consider their mother was so difficult to work// //with.'

 

'She was difficult?'// //asked Mrs. Smith.// / /'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take// //her to the park to get the job done right.// //People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good// //look'

 

'Four and five deep?'// //said Mrs. Smith,// //her eyes wide with amazement.

 

'Yes', the photographer replied.// //'And// //for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling-// //I could hardly concentrate,// //and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack// //it all in.'

 

Mrs. Smith leaned forward.// //'Do// //you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

 

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.// //Well,if you're ready,// //I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work// //right away.'

 

/

 

/'Tripod?'/

 

/

 

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big// //to be held in the hand very long.' /

 

/

 

/*/Mrs. Smith fainted/*