Tongue in cheek wisdom

[Kenny]

I guess most of you have seen this before but for the benefit of those who haven't here it is again.

 

 

 

Aviation 101

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

 

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the

 

stick back they get smaller. (Unless you keep pulling the stick back

 

--

 

then they get bigger again)

 

 

 

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

 

 

 

It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there

 

wishing you were down here.

 

 

 

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the

 

pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out

 

into a sweat.

 

 

 

Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided

 

with

 

the sky.

 

 

 

It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

 

 

 

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

 

 

 

Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from

 

which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great'

 

landing. It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

 

 

 

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

 

 

 

Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.

 

Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five

 

minutes earlier.

 

 

 

You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to

 

taxi.

 

 

 

Those who hoot with the owls by night should not fly with the eagles

 

by

 

day.

 

 

 

A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round

 

and

 

reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become

 

random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly

 

that the earth immediately repels them.

 

 

 

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make

 

all of them yourself.

 

 

 

Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

 

 

 

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad

 

judgment.

 

 

 

Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

 

 

 

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.

 

Unfortunately,

 

no one knows what they are.

 

 

 

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a

 

copilot who once was a captain.

 

 

 

Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next

 

airline.

 

 

 

It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large

 

fortune.

 

 

 

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

 

 

 

Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.

 

 

 

Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.

 

 

 

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your

 

takeoffs.

 

 

 

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

 

 

 

There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old,

 

bold, pilots!

 

 

 

Gravity never loses -- the best you can hope for is a draw!

 

 

 

You start out flying with a bag of luck and a bag of experience, the

 

trick is to get your bag of experience full before your bag of luck is

 

empty.