Lovemaking tips for Seniors

[Chucky]

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

 

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

 

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

 

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.

 

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

 

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

 

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

 

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbours are deaf too.

 

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

 

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

 

 

[Deskpilot]

What about the Viagra and starch?

 

 

[Deskpilot]

On second thoughts, forget the Viagra, all it did for me was give me a head ache. Haven't tried the starch dip yet.

 

 

[planedriver]

Love it Chucky:laugh:

 

So much truth in those wise words, i've printed it on A16 paper and pasted to my bed head in case my glasses fall off.

 

Don't waste time with the starch-dip Doug-----------Superhold Hair Spray from Woolies works a treat. Just make sure your partner does'nt smoke in bed, or you could wind up with too big a bang for the buck;)

 

Kind Regards

 

Planey

 

 

[turboplanner]

Power kerosene used to be good too. No one mucked around then!

 

 

[BLA82]

Oh it's great to be young, hopefully by the time I get to that ripe old age there will be a one for all pill. Oh by they way I just heard the have mixed Viagra with Valium so if you don't get a:censored: you don't give a

 

 

[planedriver]

Oh it's great to be young, hopefully by the time I get to that ripe old age there will be a one for all pill. Oh by they way I just heard the have mixed Viagra with Valium so if you don't get a:censored: you don't give a

Trouble is with you young blokes, you dont keep up with the times. The best pill is called the OMG (ole my God) which you give to the misses.

 

As far as Viagra is concerned, my urologist tells me that the latest Viagra is available to put in your tea. It does'nt do anything to improve your sex life, but it stops your biscuits going soft.

 

Regards Planey:thumb_up::yuk::yuk::yuk:

 

 

[Seal]

When taking your viagra remember to wash it down well with water lest you end up with a stiff neck.

 

 

[Guest roadk99]

a bloke came into the doctors on monday morning after taking Viagra,with his arm in a sling.doctor said what happend ,he replied my girl friend never turned up.

 

 

[Deskpilot]

 

[Guest David C]

I hear they are giving Viagra to the old blokes in nursing homes ....Apparantly it stops them rolling out of bed at night ..

 

 

[planedriver]

I know Dave,

 

I got a good night sleep last night.

 

How'd you go:question:

 

 

[Chucky]

I hear they are giving Viagra to the old blokes in nursing homes ....Apparantly it stops them rolling out of bed at night ..

Hospitals are also using it in the burns unit. It helps keep the sheets of your legs.

 

 

[1946]

Another use for Viagra

 

Senior citiz. went to the doc and asked for a repeat perscription on his viagra. Doc said at your age I thought you had goten over that sex stuff, Yes he replied but it helps me stop wetting my pants when I go to the bathroom!