The king, the prince and the wish

[Ted Snook]

I wrote this originally for another forum, but lets see how it grabs you guys...........

 

THE KING, THE PRINCE AND THE WISH

 

Once upon a time, there was a financially bereft King, called King Fred, and he had a financially bereft Kingdom, just to the left of Transylvania going down.

 

One day King Fred decided that they should form an alliance with a rich Kingdom, so that all the money troubles would be at an end, and the 23 threadbare Soldiers, that formed the royal guard, could have proper uniforms, and the people could put meat on the table, just now and again, - not too often, or they might get ideas.

 

The only asset that his Kingdom had, was his beautiful daughter, Princess Alice, so King Fred decided to offer her hand in marriage the to the richest

 

suitor Prince that came to ask for her hand. The only stipulation, besides the money, of course, was that the prince who asked for her hand was not a

 

genitalia failure, so to speak, because although poor, the King would not inflict that kind of disappointment on his daughter - because when you are poor,

 

what else is there .

 

Heralds were sent far and wide, with the proclamation, and twenty princes replied, all pledging undying love, and a fortune to be delivered into the empty

 

coffers of the threadbare Treasury, so the King sifted through the replies, grandest first, and gave out invitations to all the would be suitors to attend

 

a formal interview at the palace, which would be given a lick of paint for the occasion.

 

All twenty princes were entertained to dinner the night before the interviews, and the Kingdom went even deeper into hock for the occasion.

 

The evening was tense, because all the assembled royalty could sense the magnitude of the event, upon which so much depended.

 

Come the morning, the King and Queen conducted the interviews, with as much decorum as the tricky subject would allow, and one by one, the Princes were

 

asked to display their wedding tackle, and the results were disastrous.

 

Although they were all fabulously wealthy and of royal blood, without exception, they were very poor in the Spam dagger department.

 

When the last Prince had displayed his attributes, and left the Palace, having been turned down for the royal hand, the King and the Queen had a good cry,

 

because their plans, which they had felt sure would answer to all their problems, lay in tatters.

 

The last prince to be interviewed was the least grand of all, and he went on his road home through the forest, with a heavy heavy heart.

 

As he traveled along the track, he saw an old Woman, picking up sticks for her fire, but she only had a little bundle, because each time she added a stick to the bundle, another fell off.

 

On seeing this, the Prince, momentarily, forgot his own troubles, and jumping down from his Horse, quickly gathered a great big arm full for the old lady, then sitting her up on his Horse, they went back to her Hovel.

 

Just as he was stacking the large bundle against the wall, he became aware of a bright shimmering light, over his shoulder. Turning around, he

 

saw that the old Woman had turned into a beautiful damsel in a shimmering dress, with ethereal light dancing around.

 

"Young man" she said, "I know of your troubles and because you have a kind heart, I will help you".

 

"You can have one wish, so use it wisely".

 

"That's easy", said the prince. "May I be hung like my Horse".

 

Well the lightning flashed and the thunder rolled, and beneath his Doublet, a squirming and a bulging and a great heaving started, and when it had finished,

 

the prince had the most wondrous huge Pyjama python that you could imagine.

 

With profuse thanks, the Prince vaulted onto his Horse, tuned it around and headed off back to the palace at full speed.

 

"O King Fred", he cried, "look".

 

"I have already seen you and you don't have the right equipment", said the King.

 

"I didn't before, but I do now", said the Prince, "just cop a load of this". And with that the Prince exposed himself for all to see.

 

"What... what... what... what.... ?" said King Fred.

 

The Prince told the tale, while the King listened open mouthed,and at the end he shook his hand warmly and greeted him like the Son in law that he was to become.

 

"Do you think she could do the same for me"?, asked King Fred.

 

"There is only one way to find out", said the Prince, "but I can't come with you, because it wouldn't be right.

 

With all the directions that he needed, the King galloped off into the Forest, back along the road to the old Lady's Hovel. He saw her picking up

 

sticks when he was some way off, so he jumped down from his Horse and started picking up sticks like a man possessed.

 

Sitting the old Lady on his Horse, they made their way to the Hovel, and as the King was stacking the sticks against the wall, as before, the magical transformation took place to the old Lady.

 

"I know that you are the King", she said, "but that does not alter the kind deed that you have just done", I will grant you a wish, and choose it wisely.

 

"That's easy", said the King blurting out the words....."May I be hung like my Horse". Then the lightening flashed and the thunder rolled, and there was a fearful ripping and a rending as the King's pork sword metamorphosed into the most enormous set of feminine naughty bits that you ever saw, - because the King had been riding a Mare.... not a Stallion as the Prince had.

 

King Fred rode back to the Palace, feeling that his bad fortune would never end, but as in every fairy story, each cloud has a silver lining.

 

The conclusion of this little tale, is that although the Prince and the Princess married there was not much more money around than before, and sadly the

 

Princess died on her wedding night. Ahhhhhh...

 

When she heard of this and saw what had happened to the King's love truncheon, the poor Queen died of a broken heart. Ahhhhhh...

 

But the King and the Prince lived happily ever after. Hooooray...

 

Sweet dreams kidiewinkies........Ted

 

 

[Deskpilot]

Naughty but nice

 

 

[Chucky]

That is just soooo wrong.:hittinghead: