The Dog Ordinance

[Seal]

This is a shameless pinch from, of all places, NASA Spaceflight Forum.

 

Did you ever read Ernest Nagels "Symbolic Logic, Haddock Eyes and the Dog-Walking Ordinance"? It goes like this:

 

From the Minutes of a Borough Council Meeting:

 

Councilor Trafford took exception to the proposed notice at the entrance of South Park: “No dogs must be brought to this Park except on a lead.†He pointed out that this order would not prevent an owner from releasing his pets, or pet, from a lead when once safely inside the Park.

 

The Chairman (Colonel Vine): What alternative wording would you propose, Councilor?

 

Councilor Trafford: “Dogs are not allowed in this Park without leads.â€

 

Councilor Hogg: Mr. Chairman, I object. The order should be addressed to the owners, not to the dogs.

 

Councilor Trafford: That is a nice point. Very well then: “Owners of dogs are not allowed in this Park unless they keep them on leads.â€

 

Councilor Hogg: Mr. Chairman, I object. Strictly speaking, this would prevent me as a dog-owner from leaving my dog in the back-garden at home and walking with Mrs. Hogg across the Park.

 

Councilor Trafford: Mr. Chairman, I suggest that our legalistic friend be asked to redraft the notice himself.

 

Councilor Hogg: Mr. Chairman, since Councilor Trafford finds it so difficult to improve on my original wording, I accept. “Nobody without his dog on a lead is allowed in this Park.â€

 

Councilor Trafford: Mr. Chairman, I object. Strictly speaking, this notice would prevent me, as a citizen, who owns no dog, from walking in the Park without first acquiring one.

 

Councilor Hogg (with some warmth): Very simply, then: “Dogs must be led in this Park.â€

 

Councilor Trafford: Mr. Chairman, I object: this reads as if it were a general injunction to the Borough to lead their dogs into the Park.

 

Councilor Hogg interposed a remark for which he was called to order; upon his withdrawing it, it was directed to be expunged from the Minutes.

 

The Chairman: Councilor Trafford, Councilor Hogg has had three tries; you have had only two . . . .

 

Councilor Trafford: “All dogs must be kept on leads in this Park.â€

 

The Chairman: I see Councilor Hogg rising quite rightly to raise another objection. May I anticipate him with another amendment: “All dogs in this Park must be kept on the lead.â€

 

This draft was put to the vote and carried unanimously, with two abstentions.

 

That's the end of the original but a question still remains! How are they going to get all the dogs in the park on the one and only lead? :big_grin: