The Man Rules

[Admin]

The Man Rules

 

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

 

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear'the rules'From the female side...Now here are the rules from the male side.

 

 

These are our rules!

 

Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

 

 

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

 

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.

 

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

 

 

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

 

 

1... Crying is blackmail.

 

 

 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

 

Subtle hints do not work!

 

Strong hints do not work!

 

Obvious hints do not work!

 

Just say it!

 

 

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

 

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

 

Don't ask us.

 

 

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theother one

 

 

 

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

 

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

 

 

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

 

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

 

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..

 

We do that.

 

 

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

 

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

 

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

 

 

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball ormotor sports

 

 

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

 

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

 

 

1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

 

 

 

1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

 

 

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

 

 

 

Pass this to as many women as you can -to give them a bigger laugh

 

 

[winsor68]

I thought this joke may have had something to with a certain boxer at first........what's that I hear.....sounds like hornets.....mmmm....must have stirred the nest.

 

 

[BLA82]

I just read this to the missus, OHH!!!! if looks could kil:laugh:

 

Thats a classic:thumb_up:

 

 

[adz_5691]

Oh man, this had to be said eventually. hahaha what a beauty!

 

 

[Yenn]

Wish I had known all that over 50 years ago when I was single. I think it has taken all this time to learn it.

 

 

[Seal]

Ah yes, you have learned it. The big question is, have you managed to teach it to anyone not male?

 

 

[eastmeg2]

I take it your wife doe not have an account to log in and see this, or maybe you really do like sleeping on the couch.

 

And why do you make them think we can't count past 1 by making every rule #1 ???

 

 

[Yenn]

Seal. No

 

Eastmeg. Correct

 

Being a bit old I had not seen the numbering, but it is appropriate.