Hitman wanted

[Stewart J]

You may have seen this one before…..

 

 

The CIA were looking for someone who could carry out “wet” jobs for them, in other words, they needed an assassin, a hitman, so they recruited from the usual places- mercenary units, special forces, the Taxation Office, etc.

 

 

All the possibles underwent vigorous training and one by one they were deemed unsuitable, until only the three best were left. These three were told they had one final test to pass and they would be called for separately.

 

 

The first candidate was called in. Two men sat behind a desk and on the desk lay an automatic pistol.

 

“Son,” said the older of the two CIA operatives, “you have passed all the tests and the training with flying colors. We believe you are the man we need for the job!”

 

“Yes Sir! I believe I am!”

 

“Well then, you have one final test to pass. Behind that door you will find someone sitting in a chair. We want you to take this pistol and go and shoot that person. Can you do that?”

 

“Yessir!” and he took the pistol and stepped through the door. A moment later he stepped back out and said, “That’s my wife in there”.

 

“Yes, we know”.

 

“Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t shoot my wife”.

 

“In that case son, you’re not the man we need. Leave the gun here and take your wife home”.

 

 

Then they called in the next one and told him the exact same thing….

 

“Yessir!” and he took the pistol and stepped through the door.

 

A moment later he was back too “That’s my wife, I can’t shoot her”, so he took his wife and left also.

 

 

Same story with the last candidate.

 

“Son, you’ve passed all the tests………the man we need for the job!”

 

He takes the pistol and steps through the door.

 

“BANG” the two CIA men smile at each other,

 

“BANG, BANG……..BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG”, silence, then yelling and screaming and thumping noises, then silence. The door opens and the candidate steps out, wild-eyed and dishevelled looking

 

“Jesus Christ! You could have told me the damn gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat her to death with the chair!!!”

 

 

[Tomo]

Oh dear...!

 

 

[Thx1137]

OMG. I really shouldn't find that so funny :-)

 

 

[facthunter]

Causal.

 

Perhaps we cannot expect our female numbers to grow ..very much. Nev

 

 

[Thx1137]

That's easy fixed. Swap it around so that the husband in the chair. Sudden influx maybe? :-)

 

 

[facthunter]

yeah!.

 

I thought of that too. Might have got more of a laugh. Blokes all understand that they're in the gun, most of the time anyhow. N..