My gardening tips.

[planedriver]

A shapely divorcee who moved in next door earlier in the year, loved growing her own vegetables, but complained that she couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red this season.

 

She was admiring my roses and noticed my vegetable patch which had a good crop of plump bright red tomatoe's.

 

The woman asked "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

 

I replied, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

 

The woman was so impressed with my gardening prowess, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden, to see if it would work for her.

 

So twice a day for about three weeks, (22days to be precise, I was checking from behind the curtains), she exposed herself in her garden hoping for the best.

 

One day I asked her, "By the way, how did you make out with your vegie patch, did your tomatoes turn red?"

 

"No," she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous.";)