A Few Short Ones

[skeptic36]

Short Little Jokes

 

 

 

Honestly, some folk will take offence at anything. I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

 

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "Probably" said Paddy "she burns everything!"

 

 

 

A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt.....

 

"I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer?"

 

My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw.

 

It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.

 

 

Sex therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. Personally, I think its bollocks.

 

 

They reckon that beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.

 

After 8 pints I talk crap and can't drive.

 

 

 

Q. What's the difference between Basil Brush and a Paki with a rucksack?

 

A. The Paki with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.

 

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled"

 

"No" she replies "it’s just regular porn, you sick "

 

 

A mate of mine has just told me he's a girl and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?"

 

He said "Her brother has a moustache!"

 

 

 

A man goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me"

 

"Yes.....Homer is a fat, yellow, lazy and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."