haff you never flown to Frankfurt

[stanzahero]

An exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206":

 

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."

 

Ground: "Guten Morgen. You vill taxi to your gate."

 

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

 

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

 

Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

 

Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

 

Speedbird 206 (coolly): Yes, I have, actually, But it was dark, people were shooting at me and I didn't land!."

 

 

[DarkSarcasm]

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

 

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

 

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

 

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

 

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."