Came across this the other day
You know it's an Auster when :-
people on the ground mistake the aircraft for a kite.
the pilot says he's worried because his aircraft ISN'T leaking any oil.
ATC asks the pilot to report his position and it's the same report he gave 15 minutes ago.
you are charged with five landing fees but you've only visited the place once.
the tower requests you to increase your speed in the circuit- and you can't.
the longest leg on a trip is determined not by the amount of fuel in the tanks, but by the amount of padding in the pilot's backside.
the pilot describes a ground loop as a normal aerobatic manoeuvre.
the landing roll is completed before its even reached the runway numbers.
the pilot complains he can't read the compass because the mirror's broken.
the engineer charges $50 for calibrating the instruments, and $800 for changing the bungees.
the pilot enters his ETA on the flight plan as "Wednesday".
your car costs more than your aeroplane.
the pilot mistakes the local aero modeller's airstrip for the real thing.
the glider pilot behind you releases the tow rope because he figures he can climb faster without the tug.
every place you've landed has an oil spot on the tarmac.
the Air Force pilot sent out to intercept you decides to configure his targeting computer for a stationary object.
you slow down for your final approach, and the Cessna-driver sitting alongside you glances at the airspeed indicator, turns white, and starts praying.
you make an error of navigation, and instead of Violating Controlled Airspace, you just irritate it a little.
you're charged with polluting the airfield, and the engine wasn't even running.
the pilot reports turning downwind and the tower controller sets his alarm clock to remind himself to issue a landing clearance.
the pilot thinks his carbon footprint is the puddle his aircraft leaves on the hard standing.
CAA charges you with low flying and your defence is that you were operating at your service ceiling.
40 apparently identical aeroplanes turn up at a fly-in but no two of them are the same model.