planedriver

No doubt about you Tomo, you're a bit of a nut. (I did'nt say nutter:question:)

BigPete asked a sensible question, so i'll have to ask a Fred to try and get a sensible answer.

A man owned a small farm in Aberdeenshire.The Department of Work & Pensions claimed he was not paying proper wages to his farm hands and sent an Inspector out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the farmer, "There's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £ 200 a week plus free room and board, plus all main meals. There is a lady who cleans and cooks she's been here for 18 months, and I pay her £ 150 per week plus free room and board."

"Then there's the half-wit. He works about 19 hours every day and does about 95% of all the work around here.

He makes about £100 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Scotch every Saturday night.He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the man I want to talk to...the half-wit," says the Inspector

"That would be me then," replied the farmer

Yesterday arvo Planey was working on an automatic gate at Dural NW Sydney, when he was distracted by a sound from above.

On looking skywards as most of us frequently do, he saw a Pipstreal Virus just purring along in the blue sky heading south.

Not an everyday sight, but I can tell you that the Rotax was so quiet and it sounded just so sweet. I thought that it may possibly be a new owner of one that was advertised for sale in the current RAA Mag, taking his pride and joy home.

If my assumption was right, although it would have been very hot up there behind the perspex screen, i'd have willingly swapped places with you (lucky fellah).

Good luck whoever your were, your plane looked fantastic:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Kind Regards

Planey

There once was a flyer called Tomo

Who some thought was a bit of of a Commo.

He wrote wot he writ

Made himself took a twit

But he vowed to try harder tomorrow.

24hrs and no follow-up.

What are you doing to us Tomo?

Maybe we are more into flying and telling tall stories.(even if they are never ending)

Meanwhile Tubs, AhHaHa Locks, BluesBrosDarky, and the like, are no doubt planning on bombarding you with poetic justice, as retribution.

Could have been worse. A leek, or even a dry pea.

Not much more than a km away to the beginning of runway 11L at Bankstown there's a colony of resident ibis's which number in the many thousands, and surely are a potential safety risk.

At the oposite end of the runway, there is a pidgeon fancier who lets out probably 50 or so birds for a fly around:hittinghead:, which i've seen on several occasions flying so dangerously close to aircraft on their initial climb.

To allow potential risks like this in such close proximity to an airport seems crazy, and probably nothing will be done until there's an unfortunate accident.

After a visit to a massage parlour a man discovers a painful lump on his

private parts, so he goes to see his GP.

'I'm afraid this is serious,' the doctor says after examining him..

'You know how rugby players get cauliflower ear?'

'Yes,' the man replies shakily.

'Well,' the doctor continues, 'you've got a brothel sprout.':kboom:

Hey...I think my sheep are doing well here! I can keep the grass at Tullamarine, Essendon, Moorabin, Lilydale and Coldstream under control (and perhaps Pt Cook, Avalon and Toorandin too!). Tango wants one and surely Darky will take 10 or 20. Any other takers?Now...did I mention that I have some hungry cows as well.....

 

Peter

Mmmmm....... :no no:

we will have to come up with a name for it though...... using these letters - NESFW21STCAAD - representing the "Never Ending Story Fire Wood 21ST Century Artistic Aircraft Design"

 

If you build it out of Decca's wood from his paddock, you might have more than a few bugs to iron out of it

Why not call it a Bora Bora, at least sounds fast.

I'm sure he'd be only tooooooooooo willing to have an excuse to post another photo if you're not careful!?

wife ONCE AGAIN that the word is STERNUM."

Oh come on... you got to have a bit of creativity in building aircraft... the more holes the lighter it is you see... nothing a bit of fencing wire won't fix, slap a B&S (an engine, not drink!) on the front of a bit of brigalow, a few nylon fertilizer bags for wing coverings, using little bits of straight bamboo as wing spars and ribs... Dad's brother's wife's brother in law's old push bike for the wheels... and we have a b e a u t i f u l artistic piece of modern day antique engineering of the 21st century....

 

Now that is something................

Just thought you might like to build somthing different to fly:laugh:

Clean !!!!......................

Oh yeah.... bring it on...! :thumb_up: I'll volunteer as ..... eerrr? Mmmmm

Sorry Tomo,

Couldnt possibly allow that, as you live too near my ex-misses and she took 95% of what i'd earned, last time around.

I know a bloke whose clearing his land of firewood if you're that keen to get into a business. However, don't get too carried away, it's not really of good aircraft quality, despite what he may tell you.

As franchisee, you'd probably have to trade under the name of Aircraft Bruce, or something.

I like it Planey, let's not tell anyone.

Yeah but, Darky a hat can only hold so much, and Planey & I are good at sweeping red carpets, horse stables & aircraft cabins, we're sure to sweep our fortune up at Temorville.

Yea right!

With the list above, we'll either have have plenty to bank, or, spread around the tomato patch.

Anyway, tomato's are especially good for you and me Decca, so don't get the pip.

WantedIf somebody that lives around the Melbourne area has a spare sheep they would like fattened please PM me:

 

Cheers

I'll bring my spit.:thumb_up:

A couple of long-haul pilots were in between trips and decided to meet up for a round of golf.

They were just about to tee off at the first hole, when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

"Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the rifle sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window."

"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha, ha, I can see she's naked!!------- Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her..... He's naked, too!!!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife down below, she's always been cold towards me when I get back from a trip, and now I know why"

"Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his old fellah off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think i'll be able to save you a grand here...":big_grin:

Decca, however, had forgotten that Darky was the one with the hat, so naturally the audience would have already given all of their money to the quintet and would have none left for Decca and Planey...

Now we can clearly see Darky's legal eagle training is beginning to kick-in:crying:

Maybe the proceeds could be put into a plain, sorry, plane trust fund:question:.

………”. We’ll own our own aeroplanes in no time!

Mate, I was going to twist your arm for some on that timber you've been clearing, to build one. However, someone said it's full of borer holes like AERO chocolate, so would'nt handle turbulence other than the initial flight.

Maybe we could become promo managers for the quartet, and sneak a sly few trips in Senor El Rato's Jabby while they're busy holding their jamb sessions:guitarist::robin::guitarist::kumbaya:.

If we both rock up wearing sombrero's, fake suntan, dark glasses:cool: and a bit of gold lolly wrapper stuck to our teeth, no one will ever twig that it's not the big fellah himself.

After all, they say immitation is the finest form of flattery:big_grin:.

[quote=Tomo;135216

Darky has sold her mind on ebay....! no wonder she can't land the jabiruter

Planey who felt he could benefit from a few more youthful braincells]https://www.recreationalflying.com/xf2/uploads/emoticons/049_sad.gif.cfa4f274d7bd070bd6a24b809e8799ba.gif[/img]

However, intead------------

Yes she is in Wales, but a grand old lady.

I was referring to my mother-in-law in Cardiff, who wears a funny black hat, flys everywhere on a broom, and is always ----:stirring pot::kboom:

An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting up St. Peter at the Pearly Gates

When all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

'Don't worry about that,' says St.Peter,

'It's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for the wings.'( no loose Sportstar rivets needed)

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation ....

Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.'Oh my God,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St.Peter,

'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go there,' says St. Peter.

'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the old lady, 'but I've already got the orifices for that.(and no clecko's needed)'

Having a whale of a time to I guess?!

A very old joke, but one that I think is well based in fact. After I left Britain in 1961 my employer was paid to get out of dairy cows. I have since been back and the most obvious change is the lack of livestock on the farms and the great growth of vermin, such as foxes and rabbits, even badgers which in my days were an extremely rare sight are now common, but very few cows are to be seen. A sad old country that has been going downhill ever since I left it.

However,.

but very few cows are to be seen.. The mother-in-law is still lurking around somewhere:laugh: so beware!