planedriver

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.'

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the bloody skippin' .'

News Flash.

The planning of events for Narromine next Easter, is well under way.

Rumor has it;), that one of the star attractions to pull the crowds in, could be an appearance of The Easter Bunny:cool: arriving by the long awaited Millenium Master.

However, this attraction may well be outdone.

It is understood that the well known Riverland girl has agreed to to defy death, once again, by taking to the air suspended only by her knicker elastic from a Victorian based Jabiru, as she did by accident, after being hooked up during a fly-fishing trip some months ago.

This a real crowd puller, and an event not to be missed.

Due to safety concerns on approach, the barbed wire fence will this time, be temporarilly removed, to overcome the evertightening circuits flown when she got caught prior to touchdown, last time this feat occured.

McDonalds have set up a hotline for aerial-delivery of burgers, and all orders are expected to be delivered with free flies.

Hopefully our mate Slarti will be there with his flying BBQ cooking up his snagaroos, so nobody needs to go hungry.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Please post your suggestions, for other ideas to help make this event a resounding success----------------------

Like all of us that don't get any younger, I quite understand.

Take good care of yourself and your Corby Mate.

Kind Regards

Planey

:star::yuk:"Come in Crappy Number 5, your time is up. Stop looking at Russian Girls that say they want to meet you.

"Come in Big Peter, which is what they're really after.

"Come in Geoff. By the way Bunnings have ceiling paint on special and you could always use a roller for a quick job, just to shut the boy's up.

Dont put up with their crap, i'm envious of what you've got anyway, for what it's worth.

Planey has had a few issues with his computer and thinks it could also do with a coat of newness (even with a roller).

hihosland has had time to think about posting longer posts about the "Ratbag Pack" who have kept this thing going.

Ben who always thinks a bit along the blue line, is either polishing his new toy beyond the gel-coat, mowing his strip in readiness for the RAA lawn inspectors, or, calculating the revenue from Friarpuks plonk sales at the next fly-in.

Paley's valued comments are also about to spark ino life, and hopefully many others too------------------------------------------------meanwhile.

PS. please note that I saved money by not using these ;):confused::big_grin::ah_oh::black_eye::):nerd:i_dunno:keen::thumb_up:thumb_down:censored:

Now be honest Starti,

Your heaters a bloody barbeque. all the regulars know that!

Regards

Alan

Very interesting Tony,

Thanks for sharing it with us.

Regards

Alan

:welcome:Peter,

Sounds like you have a good wife there.

Take care of her and enjoy the training.

Regards

Alan

:welcome:Chris,

Keep us posted as to how you're going with your training.

Regards

Alan

:welcome:Nacho,

Stay tuned to this site and you will learn a lot, have fun, and thats no bull.

Regards

Alan

and - if you drink it, it will eventually get to where it was needed in the first place....regards

You need a handshake for that one-------thats funny:laugh:

Couple of things if I may Planedriver:- Firstly, welcome to what has been proven to be the most popular and friendly recreational flying site in Australia...there isn't any "dog eat dog" here!

- You say that you "have all the right gear", please don't lift the right leg...or even the left leg for that matter

 

- and finally, if you are into tail draggers, ...can you please check for worms!

Catch yer later------------Gone fishing

Just landed

Hi Guys,

I've just landed on this site, and have had a passion for flying for quite some time.

I have all the right gear as my photo shows, and you'll find i'm real regular with all types of posts.

I'm really into tail-draggers as you'd probably guess, but my current design lacks lift, even though the Rover powerplant runs on all four and does'nt miss a beat.

Any help would be gratefully appreciated,until I get the problems licked.

[ATTACH]6801.vB[/ATTACH]

Ah Ian,

Surely your not going to spoil a good story.

If I told you the pilot learned how to do it in Silver City Airways Bristol 170 out of Manston, would you believe it then?;) Because rumor has it that some good pilots come from that area.

Regards

Alan

Born near RAF Kenley where Hurricanes were based and a short bike ride to Biggin Hill soon had me hooked.

On a very limited budget, over time, I took a TIF with 10 out of 13 flying schools that operated from there, just to get in the air.

My first flight was in a Miles Gemini at Shorham which got airborne due to the curvature of the earth, followed by DH Dragon Rapide, Aircoupe, Auster Mk5 before the modern stuff like a Reims Cessna.

Even joined the Metroploitan Police as a Special Constable and helped out at Fetes and football matches, etc; for 6hrs a month, as a means of joining the Sports and Social Club, so I could get flying lessons for only 4 pounds 15 shillings an hour (crafty bugger).

Then got involved with a girl and gave it all away (just call me stupid)

Welcome back mate, with no mention of the mortar scratching?

We'll leave that to BaristaCrappee who's probably doing his shift in Gloria----'s Jeans.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

Planey's pencil is in ???????????????????

For a service, as it's ground to a halt and run out of lead.

Hello, Planeys back, feeling relaxed, with a big :big_grin: on his face, and happy to report that both wrists are OK:thumb_up::thumb_up:

However, if his :heart:37-25-36 laptop gets an unwanted upgrade, and becomes :broken_heart:39-58-41 in about July '09. Then the nurse that had the cold hands, is going to have some explaining to do:faint:.

TheBaristaCaptains statement No.10 is somewhat inaccurate(quote) Planey may not survive the entire episode, and they'll never be able to close the coffin lid.

The facts are, that the pre-paid funeral arrangements, clearly stipulate that his coffin lid is to have electrically operated flaps built into it, in order that it is easier to breathe, and to allow for protrusions to hang his favourite flying hat and goggles on..

The question is: If BigPete has been absent, was he responsible for the scratching noises we heard in the middle of the night? and was he scratching away the mortar between the brickwork to have a peek:cool: from the next motel room, so he could pass on instructions to his mate?;););).

MusicalPlaney has now mastered the art of the snake charming flute prescribed to him by his Indian Doctor. It is necessary to blow gently, and cover the right hole to be able to reach the required high notes.;)

My thanks go to hihosland for his contribution during my absence, as this saved the BaristaBarristerLeCrappee from wandering around in ever decreasing circles searching for the VonTrapp family singers, where he'd promise to save them, providing they could pay his exhorrrrrrrbitant fees.

OK folks. To all of you who think that you are skilled as a pilot, take a look at this video!

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/08102703.html

is now available in powder form for your tea.

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and

working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune

when his sick father died, he decided he needed a

wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the

most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like

just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few

months, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.'

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and

three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

Dear Mr AllWashedOutPete,

Thank you for your prompt reply showing unquestional wisdom.

It is sad in a way that I have to bid you farewell :wave:for a week, while I partake of a short break.

While away, my laptop unit which is a :heart:37-25-36 :heart::hug:model, is unable to receive progress reports from the NES, and I too, hopefully, will be suitably distracted while playing my snake charmers flute which I got on prescription.;););)

Whatever excuses are given by CaptainBaristerBarrister, please just return any communications to sender, as they are sure to also contain an exhorbitant bill:yuk::yuk::yuk: of immense magnitude.

Take care guys, and have fun:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:, Oh, and you be kind to one another!

Regards

Planey:wave:

Dear (as in bloody expensive) Barrister Le UsualripoffCrap.

The claims in your most obviously "doctored" post No. 511 regarding MrPete, are undoubtedly fraudulent and are of very grave concern to those directly involved, and will be subject to ongoing litigation.

Being such an honest man of very humble means, I do not allow your inferred threats to pressure me in any way, as there is not much that can taken away.

Without any money being available, those in your claimed profession quickly loose interest.

Further your fraudlent past claims :angry:to being a Captain :question:have been noted by many, who may be called to give evidence at a date to be advised.

As you should be well aware, your claimed title is spelt incorrectly and could be interpretted as a means to pervert the course of justice. Your correct title is "Barista", not Barrister, as your colleages at Gloria Jeans can attest.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Notice of the preliminary hearing has just come through,and is to be heard at 10am sharp on Monday morning at the District Court.

Please bring with you 2 short blacks with 7 sugars, 4 cuppachino's and one flat white for my legal team.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

P.S. Do not vent your anger, by spitting in the cups:cool: as we have special authorisation to use the Crowns spitometer.

See Yer Monday

Planey

Saturday 25th October 2008 (early edition)

The Oaks & Bendigo Chronical.

Breaking News.

Missing Flier Found Wandering

By Chronical reporter Ivor Jabbytoo.

The popular missing Victorian flier BigPete has this morning been found fit and well, albeit wandering in an intoxicated state.:yuk::yuk::yuk:

It had been feared that he had been held against his will at a nearby monastry and made to carry out laundry chores gainst his will.

MrPete is very well known for getting himself into tight situations, and earlier this year had to be rescued along after fleeing with the Von Trapp family singers.

On this occasion, he had gone to visit FriarPuk for a few days to assist with looking after his sheep, but wound up washing socks by night instead.

It would appear that last night he’d been allocated duties watching over the sheep while seated around a campfire with other drunken shepherds.

The Friar is well known in the local community for his rather potent home-brew, of which more than generous allocation are issued, to keep out the cold night air.

During his ordeal, he’d had his wristwatch stolen and lost all track of time.

However, as the night wore on and every one started to fall asleep, hearing the Captains distant calls yodel-ay-eee yodel-ay-eee yodel-ay-eee groan" Now where is BloodyIKeepGettingCapturedPete this time?" he made his escape and wandered off into the darkness.

Just as dawn was breaking, he was spotted by PC Plodd, who was making his way to be first in the que when Macca’s opened.

The well intoxicated flier was seen to be unsteady on his feet before falling over again.

When assistance arrived he was singing “While shepherds flogged my watch at night, while seated on the ground.

An angel of the force came down and picked me off the ground”.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

It is good to know that he is expected to make a full recovery after a few strong coffee’s and a bit of sleep, before making a full report on the forums.

" "Fair dinkum, if he keeps getting caught and having to be rescued all the time we might just have to sacrifice him as a bad risk."

Your dead right there Paley, maybe we'll have to offer him up finally as SacraficialPete.

He seems to revel being in this sort of situation.

The bugger keeps going back for more, just like those kinky blokes that go to "The House of Dominance".:yuk:

Thats one place you don't want to go to twice, as that Madam with the long boots, mask and whip really hurts you, and charges more than I can afford:laugh:.

Kind Regards

Paindriver:angry:

And so it was, that SoundofmusicPete headed of for what he thought would be a very well earned break.

But alas things were not as he'd expected:angry:

He found himself being allocated the night shift in the monastry laundry.

"But Friarpuk" said disapointedPete, "I thought you said I could watch your flock by night, not wash bloody socks by nightthumb_down:censored:

Le CrossdressingCrappee went to his closet and took out a bright floral dress and a short wig, to make himself look like Julie Andrews with hairy legs, in the hopes that he could rescue our mate TootrustingPete.