planedriver

While we wait for our Dynamia Duo to enter and save the day - I'll make one last comment. i_dunno

Told yer so!!!

 

DemTelPete, just like the infuriating ads on TV, says, "But wait, there's more. I'll make one last comment before I depart"

 

I'm sure my mother-in-law also sprays her jaw with WD40 each morning to keep it in fine fettle , while we discretely take the battery out of our hearing aids, and adopt a vague expression on our faces.:confused::confused::confused:.

 

While Geoff the White Knight???? seems to be organisng some sort of flying-fishing contest down the Murray, he must have missed the earlier post, which clearly stated that Pete had already caught the last pure Riverlad girl by the knickers, with his favorite deep-diving lure.

 

Maybe he's jealous that Pete now brags, with a pair of "frilly's" dangling from his flap lever, as well as Burger-Bomber of the month, certificates and limmo (can't see me now) tint, plastered all over his windows.

 

BustinforafagIan has been telling a few people on the quiet, that he's now taken to having the odd bit of old-fashioned snuff, because it does'nt harm your lungs:question:

 

Reality is, that its been noticed that he's been listening intently to all those ads that we keep being bombarded with, for that Nasal Technology Stuff, thats supposed to help you get an . (help put a smile on your face).;););)

 

Guru Swarmi Flyer posted over a week ago before going on a NAVEX to Siberia methinks? but as his tanks must now be down to the reserve, we're sure we'll all hear from him as soon as he lands.

 

You can bet your bottom dollar that his fettish for WPC Bronny Bishop the motorcycle cop is likely to feature somewhere in the post, even if he's just been "nicked" differently to OneunglowPete and the Merry Fidlers.:thumb_up:

 

Planey had a similar experience many years ago at the hands of a not-so-skilled surgeon. The knife slipped during the procedure and they wound up with a spare part which rolled across the floor and was lost.

 

Fearing litigation the surgeon replaced it with the first thing he could find--an onion!!!

 

A month later when he went for a follow-up visit and was asked how he was feeling, he replied "Can you explain why tears always roll down my cheeks when I go to the loo, and get real excited when I walk past the hot-dog stand?

A man walked into the produce section of his local Coles supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room the boy said to the manager 'Some old b****rd wants to buy half a head of lettuce.'

As he finished his sentence he turned to find the man standing right behind him so he quickly added 'and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.'

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.

We like people who think on their feet here.

Where are you from son?'

' New Zealand sir' the boy replied.

'Well why did you leave New Zealand ?' the manager asked.

The boy said 'Sir there's nothing but whores and rugby players there.'

'Really' replied the manager? 'My wife is from New Zealand !'

'Really??' replied the boy, 'Who'd she play for?'

"I have now noticed that either AdminIan or SlartiButtCrack have doctored the poll and have allowed more votes (in the +ve) than there are forum members".

"How do yez ever expect to be elected to the Board when you doctor the poll like that?" said the Kapten (and he isn't referring to a vasectomy in Warsaw).

 

"Alternatively, that is an eminent qualification to lead us on to further glory"

 

But just then slightlywanxxxxxxx and planey burst thru the batwing doors and said "................................................

But surely, it would seem that OneunglowPee--t seems to have a bit of a lopsided account of the facts.

Judging by the "bodgy" results, one can but wonder, whether the bean counter blokes connected with the poll (who must all play violins), accompanied him to visit the nurse with cold hands at the unstated establishment in Melbourne, (or was it Warsaw).

If this was not the case, surely, there would have to be a more balanced, "unfiddled" outcome of the figures.

Maybe PlaneXXXX with his ear to the ground, being a fair man, can sus out whether there has been any collusion between the parties?????

As BigPete bids us all farewell , dont worry about holding your breath folks, cos i'm sure the bugger will come back to haunt us from the other side. (hopefully)

P.S. Never before in hundreds of post's, have I seen so many complimentary remarks about the main players, which instigates a severe case of suspicion:confused::confused::confused:

There would have to be a good explanation for this somewhere, but it cetainly did'nt show up in a Google search.

Kind Regards

SinceretothecorePlanedriver

Well, what more can one say?

It seems I possibly voted wrongly in the spoilt-brat personal Super-Sluth poll.

PaleXXXX obviously has better access to the "Rogues Gallery" than some of us, and managed to come up with one of ElusivePetes more flattering photo's "commuinicating"?, like Tom Cruise in the Top Gun movie. ( I think I might have seen him on the road today, saying hello in the same manner).

Bendorn also came up with "wanted, but not really known", or was that supposed to be "known, but not wanted":confused::confused::confused:

Anyway, it would seem that he is no longer listed as a missing person, as we know he's really out there somewhere, albeit hiding behind those tinted windows of his Jabbylimmo..

I just hope he does'nt walk up my driveway carrying a violin case:laugh:.

SpoiltBratPete (alias No 24) who now has his very own personal poll, may possibly exist, but appears to be laying low, analysing the results.

Like a bad penny, i'm sure he'll turn up with some outragous explanation why he of all people, should be given preference over other mere mortals on this forum.

We no doubt all wait with baited breath, to see what comes up next.:thumb_up:thumb_down:chuffed:

Nice looking strip Ben.

Lucky man, you no doubt deserve it.

Who'd want to live in the "big smoke"?

Not you, that obvious.

Rgds

Alan

Hey Geoff,

That carpet looks a bloody site better than wots in the place i'm renting,

Want to swap?????

By the way, despite the Riverland blokes comments about the paint job, or lack thereof, your Jabiru looks great to me.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Regards

Alan

And so, dear reader (we know you're out there), are you prepared to vote on whether BigPete (who can land on a sixpence:clap: ) and LittlePete (who has the knack of asking difficult questions during demanding maneuvers, (like landing on a sixpence)), do really exist. If you can tear yourself away Ian, can we do a poll??

 

thank you!

 

Spoken by BigPete, LargePierre, GrandePierre, HumungousPete, SwashbucklingPete, STOLPete, KnackerlessPete, HopperlongPete, OneunglowPete, NearlyKnackerlessPete, ScaredofScapelsPete, PastaPete, LowSlowPete, DecisivePete, CleverPete, ApprehensivePete, UndauntedPete, OhMyGodPete , GungHoPete, EuphoricPete, VictaPete, BiggerThanLifePete, and,

 

I'mTiredandGoingToBedPete. :raise_eyebrow::raise_eyebrow::raise_eyebrow:

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

With TwentythreealiasesPete managing to twist Ian's arm for the now in existance poll, one can't help but wonder whether the final analysis will show 23 too many ticks in the yes column:question::confused::confused::confused:

I much prefer 4 strokes.

.............. Phew .... glad that's over.

Poor SherlockCaptain and his trusty bloodhound are totally exhausted after unravelling the mystery of Alias's's's's's's'Pete, and is considering early retirement.

Like the girl with the melons, he always get's his man.:thumb_up:

So embarrassed at finally being sprung, we now hear on the grapevine, that there's a grass-stained J160 which is being fitted with dark limmo tint on the windows, and the owner is doing a night VFR rating, so he'll be able to fly day ops, providing there's enough sunshine.

It would seem that GrandePierre, alias BigPete,etc;etc;etc; may a figment of our imagination, and the real Pete is actually dear little CharliePete who from photo 1, wets his pants at the mere thought of going for a ride in that Jabbygrassslasher.

The story posted, looks genuine enough on the face of it, but with reference to the remarks about KnackerlessPete, HopperlongPete, OneunglowPete and Cheating with a 100ydsstartonthevetPete, we naturally have a few suspicions.:confused::confused::confused:

Was this all a fabricated cover-up, for not wishing members to know that NotsomanlyPete had been to Melbourne for a "snip job" ,to allow MrsPete to stop worrying about those dates on her calender:question:

He'd need not worry, as there are plenty of members here that have keyrings with the logo : Vasecomy, no longer having to say "I'm Sorry".

Furthermore, at no stage did he mention that he'd been jogging.

However suspicious as we all may be, it was a lovely post, which only made it clear that PurportedlyinconsumatePoppyPete has not not been telling us the full story of his exploits;););)

The Craptain has been using such big words in his replies, that thesorusless members are unable to comment, as it takes so long to unravel his apparent superior interlect??!!**

For those with less than 4 stripes, with a percieved average IQ, lower than 238.4, they can always google some of the words in the Encyclopedia Britanica section link. www.whatthe****? (hell) does he mean?

Meanwhile, our givenupthefags?mentor, posts a photo with a sly one stuck behind his ear!!??!!??*** which just goes to prove..............................

The version I heard is " What goes up must come down, even if it's 9 months later"

A biker was riding his motorcycle on the long road between Perth and Broome .

Suddenly the sky clouded overhead and, there was huge flash of lightning.

In a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Thank you Lord, please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic.

Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking.

The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific!

The concrete and steel it would take!

It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.

I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for such a worldly thing.

Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife.

I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

For those who were not previously aware, motorcycles were actually in use, even back in the day's of Christ, and were invented by a man named Moses.

I read this in a very old copy of the Bible which clearly stated that:

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

The roar of his Triumph could be heard through the streets of Jeruselem

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven." :thumb_up:

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...." God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! thumb_down

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

A man in a new Lexus stops to buy petrol on his way home from playing golf.

The young driveway attendant, cleaning his windscreen, notices some little stick like things on the drivers seat.

He asks the owner what they are for?

The man says "They are tees, you rest your balls on them."

The attendant says "No doubt about it, those Japs think of everything."

Anyway, Geoff's very happy now, as he bought a new pair of specs from Bias Boating Warehouse. This new pair have marine drain-plugs at the bottom of the lenses, so there's no excuse for him not being able to laugh, and read as well.

BuggermegottogotomelbournePete suddenly had this idea of having the special family gathering moved to Goulburn.

I'll invite everyone to meet there, and that'll swell the numbers.

Not being able to remember whether the Melbourne do, was for a wedding, christening, funeral, or a divorce party, ForgetfulPete said " i'll become PastorPete for the weekend", and then i'll be able to take care of it personally , and get it over and done with quickly.

It's a nice ride up there, even if I have drive, he thought.

Better watch my speed this time, as Goulburn is Plods own Country and some ot the rookies may be a bit on the keen side.

The kids will enjoy seeing all the planes and can have a Slartibanger sanga, and i'll even cut the crust off the bread, for the wrinkley rello's with wobbley teeth.

Whats more, I still get to have good time.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin: and see my mates.

CompletelyinsensitiveandshortlytobeincapacitatedPete" :yuk::yuk: had been having bad dreams, and kept saying "before you do anything to me, make sure it's my spectacles you remove. Yes spectacles I said, and make sure you get that bit right"

Yesterday the Riverland girl shocked me with the news that she was getting married to a guy from country Victoria. I asked who was going to be the best man?

"I have'nt decided yet" came the reply, "there's so many to choose from, and I can't remember them all".

Definatelty:wasnt me:said Friarpuk, "I live on the other side of the fence" pointing towards the monastery.

Then who could it possibly be?..............

And I thought there were some sensible, well educated people on these forums.

Now i'm a bit disillusioned.

7/11 bought it cheap to make slurpees.

One final thought, if its already half gone, how come it still only covers the lower half of all the local ducks?:hittinghead::hittinghead::hittinghead:

They wondered wether the slartiIllserveyouasav'n'saucesambo would have enough....

Slartimakaquid was a lot smarter than Flyer realised, (how else do you become assistant to the big man?)

He had most of it worked out, as wise men do, and some of his calculations went something like this:

Geoff gave himself away with his post, he thought. (I see from his photo that he's a J160 jockey), he'll attend for sure, so i'll add him to the potential sanger or sav list.

J230 would have to be in for a steak (to maintain image) and so it went on.

Pretty smart thinking really:clap:, except Facthunter in his BAC Lightning will have come and gone so quickly, that he would'nt even get a sniff of things.

Can't win em all though, and i'll have to allow for a couple over the top to allow for the needs of drifting drifters drifting in..............

Pipers Piping............

"Yea I know", and a partridge in a pear tree:thumb_up:

Welcome Sol,

You may not realise it yet, but you've certainly found the best place for RAA.

You should learn a lot, as well as laugh a lot, just being part of our wonderful forums.

Good luck with the GFPT.

Meanwhile, unsuspectingandblissfullyunawarePete was ......

pondering over the Captains earlier post

Quote: Welcome back planey, however if the above means that you are a pom "Then we all take all the nice words back" said fiercelycolonialPete, (and particularly if you still have a UK passport).

"Well at least I paid my own bloody fare", came the reply. None of this 10 quid stuff for me, and the arrows would have wore off my suit in over 30yrs anyway, so give us a break!

The Queen did'nt pay for the trip either, but she's not in the good books at the moment anyway.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

Apparently she's been advised to keep her private life out of her speeches.

You've probably heard them yourself. "It gives my husband and I great pleasure", etc; etc;

"Hell!. She's sure not the only one", piped in the Riverland Girl, who'll do almost anything to go for a fly.

At that point SupposedlyloyalPete and IllwooyermissesCaptain look the other way hoping nobody has noticed, while they quickly don their sunnies:cool:.

That girl can certainly tell a tale or three. Nudge, Nudge ,Wink, Wink, say no more Squire, before I too, drop myself in the proverbial.

Starti meanwhile, was doing a bit of financial planning, to pay for the earth removal excavators.

Now next Sunday for GhoulBurn, I'll get me truckie neighbour FatguttedKev The Kenwood driver, to drag the airborn (soon) BBQ down to the strip on his low-loader and i'll make a killing in just a couple of hours.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

For the Bundaberg Bentley drivers that want to maintain their immage, he thought, i'll hit em for fifty bucks for a Woolies "quick sale" time expired steak.:yuk::yuk::yuk:

For the up and coming (deputy) captains in LSA's,160's and other breeds, 10 bucks for a sanger sandwich, or cut down the middle sav with sauce left over from the Echuca do.

Lazair pilots, un-buttered bread (because of weight restrictions) but given a quick wipe over the BBQ plate for flavour, for the bargain price of only five bucks.

I'll even have the local scouts at the entrance gates with buckets, (catching those that come by road) to contribute to the Local Wildlife (Cheetah) Restoration Society:laugh: That'll do the trick!!

4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home.

About then an old Grandpa walked in.

One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

The old man said, 'There ain't no way you old biddy's can accurately guess it, :confused::confused::confused::confused:

One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants & under shorts & we can tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped them as requested.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times & to jump up & down several times. Then they all piped up & said, 'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the hell did you guess?'

Slapping their knees & grinning from ear to ear, all 4 old ladies happily yelled in unison---------'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

Oh what have I done thought Planedrivel. Should'nt let a real bad day and bad news govern your emotions.:hittinghead:

We have GobsmackedfairsuckofthesavPete saying nice things.

The Captain of the beautiful hand-built Bundaberg Bentley doing the same.

LandonadimeStorchy dropping in again,with motivating words, and the one and only Riverland girl bringing me a couple of melons to bury my face in, which I did:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: (I thought the ones in the bag were for later)thumb_down.

PaleXXXX reminding us of a bygone erra when kids had some discipline, and making us all feel old, but better for having had the experience of receiving a bit of it.

Like my first flying experience while coming home from school, I picked up a wet cardboard box that was flattened out on the pavement and threw it with all my might. Spinning like a flying-saucer, or so I thought. It landed on an old ladies roof. Seconds later "whack" I copped it across the back of my head with a rolled-up cape from this black-bearded "Bobby" who must have been 10 feet tall, who'd been walking behind me.

My old Dad was his Station Sergeant and I copped it again when I got home.

I loved him dearly though, so never filed for compo, child abuse, reported him to the DOC's of the day, or, tried to divorce my parents on advice from a school councellor.

However, I did learn that it flew better than Jimmy Clarke's school book.

Thanks for the encouragement guys.

Happy to be back:thumb_up:

I imagine you are right there jcamp, because the Lazair has two motors.

:wave:Sad as it may be to me, it would appear that my humor is not appreciated by the other two main players on this thread. I therefore feel that it would be in the best interest of these forums to give this thread a miss from now on.

I have never, at any time born any personal malice to either concerned, or sadly, ever had the pleasure of meeting them in person, but just simply tried my best by adding my two cents worth of humor.

It would be great to see a few more members involve themselves a little, after all there are around two thousand members here, not just barely a handful, so come on guys, while I take a break, go for it, and add your contribution.

To the "two muskateers", thanks for the past fun, but if my comments have offended you in any way, I sincerely appollogise. It would certainly not have been intentional.

Fly safe and be happy.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

Life's far too short for anything else.

Kind regards

Alan

Meanwhile, hopefully the story continues..............