planedriver

“but i am still going to have to write you a ticket”.

 

“For what!” Bob says.

 

“Tacks evasion.”

 

 

 

Fantastic result Ian, despite the heartwrenching time you and Corrine would have gone through.

 

Thank you Phil and PaleXXX for your kind words.

 

Despite the fact that I am now of pension age, i'm still very proud to say that i'm the son of a policeman, and rightly so.

 

Keep up the good work.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

Kind Regards

 

Alan

 

 

Good to see the photos asic45. Thanks for posting them.

 

Rgds Alan

 

 

Hey Merv,

 

Did your misses write the quote at the botton of your last post, or should you have removed it on this occasion?

 

Rgds Alan

 

 

Soon the new pimpley-faced Team Leader at Maccas instigated a merit award system, for the most successful "Burger Bomber of the month".

 

For the first few months, the Captain really had things stitched up, and no one else could get near him. However, his lack of modesty was his downfall.

 

He insisted on sticky-tapeing all his awards to the outside of his aircraft, so all the world would know that he was No 1. But with all drag from all his awards and bits of sticky-tape flapping in the slipstream, his big plastic parrot was reduced to a maximum speed of 69 knots at 5800rpm and ModestPete started to catch up.

 

DeterminedPete had a brainwave, and installed a 2 inch plastic tube alongside the 4 inch delivery tube.

 

This new tube he used as a diggeridoo, and simalir to the icecream mans bell, he bellowed through it while flying at low altitude and this summoned all the kids from the indigenous settlements, to his new aerial delivery service.

 

So successful was this ingenius bit of marketing, that before long, he had to remove his right hand seat to make room for all the popular new WichetyBurgers and deep-fried grasshoppers (would you like with flys with your order).

 

The Maccas bean-counter was loosing his hair at all the unpaid accounts since this new service had been introduced, but this was not Pete's worry.

 

Not wishing to be outdone, the Captain and others involved, were all busy conceiving various modifications to improve their performance, much to the delight of the Team Leader.

 

 

After spending a very uncomfortable night in the cells, :yuk: IncarceratedPete again struggled to come to terms with his identity. If I'm not really here NowYouSeeMeNowYouDon'tPete pondered, then I won't have to pay the speeding fine or the fuel bill for the Jabirue. :) Telstra can whistle for their money as well - Crikey I won't even have to go to work tomorrow. :thumb_up:

 

As the calming injection started to wear off, he thought, i'll show these turkeys a thing or two.

 

To the Police Deopartment, he sent his fine, accompanied by a photo of a hundred dollar bill, but was disappointed when it was returned to him with a photo of Long Bay Jail.

 

To Telstra and the others he owed money to, they all received their bills back, with a copy of a book called "BigPetes Favourite Tunes You Can Whistle To".:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

When he first saw the men in white coats he freaked out, as you would do at a time like this, and all sort of whierd thoughts went through his mind.

 

Are they really dentists coming to take my teeth out, or, to put some in?

 

Could they be Russian Secret Police:cool: coming to get me, simply because of what I was thinking, while watching their gorgeous gymnast at the Lympics, or, am I behind with my RAA membership?

 

He was starting to feel a bit better as his memory slowly returned, largely because of what he'd learned from Maria, as he burst into song, with

 

"Whenever I feel afraid

 

I hold my head erect

 

And whistle a happy tune

 

So no one will suspect

 

I'm afraid. :thumb_up:

 

Sombody must love me:heart:, and recognise me for who I am:yuk:, he thought.

 

The Crud Government got to hear about IncarsaratedPetes idea and really liked it. "Tell yer wot Swanny Boy" said the normally indecisive Kev, maybe we can cover our wage increases and exhorbitant spending, by sending a copy of this Pete blokes book to anyone who applies for a pension. The may hit the fan for a while, so i'll send you on an overseas junket till things settle.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

....."Show me some better ID, as I have checked all of your names and even under the spelling of nomdeplumePete and you don't exist, sir, although there is a lot of unintelligable stuff about you on the forum" (this is actually a very clever play on words relating to police intelligence on crims like triadPete ..... so there)

 

"But what if ..............................."

"all these allias'es i'm supposed to have, can be proved to be a figment of someones vindictive imagination",said the nervous offender,would I then be elligible for a simple caution, instead of having to dip into my pocket money?

 

"G'da, G'day, G'day, what do we have here then? A fifty dollar note neatly folded and sticky-taped to your driving licence. Surely this would have to be an attempt to pevert the course of justice?

 

Now this is a serious matter indeed, which has made you elligable for a free ride in my police car?

 

Had it been a gift voucher for a couple of TIF's, that would have been entirely different, and the matter could have possibly been overlooked.

 

"Such a nice girl that sister of yours, and very few of them left" :heart::heart::heart:said Pete (or whatever his real name is) trying to change the subject and find the kinder side of walloperfop. but all to no avail.

 

Off they went at great speed, with lights flashing and sirens wailing.

 

Clutching tightly onto his seat, whiteknuckledPete thought he should have rotated long ago. This bloody things even faster than the four stripers big plastic parrot he thought, and enquired whether he was exceeding his VNE.

 

"Dont get smart with me sonny, I simply have to drop you off at the watchhouse and make it to The Golden Arches, before they finish with the breakfast menu.

 

Friarpuk, on hearing who was now in the lockup, decided to pay him a visit and take him some breakfast from the monastery.

 

"Oh No" came the cry, "not wild oats again, that's what seems to be getting into so much trouble".

 

Poor Friarfuk being a man of the cloth, missed the point completely.i_dunnoi_dunnoi_dunno

 

 

........................Now .... it's best that I let this peter out (peterPete) and back to the N.E.S. where the riverland girl is asking "Just who is BigPete?"

BigPete, or is it BigJohn ,the Riverland Giril wants to know. Whichever it is, "you know I love being spoiled" she said ;););););) and i'm not overly fussy.

 

At this point the Captain started to get a bit jealous, for it is I who have the-- quote "big plastic Jabiroo parrot". he said, To which BigPete replied, " Yea but I have a real mobile phone, not like those in toyshops, mine has it's very own individual number :big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:.for those that care to ring it:cool:

 

The Kaptain flies for hours but never sees BigPete. Unfortunately.

 

What a shame, now if he'd had at least had the common decency to pick up Planedriver on the way, there would at least have been the blind leading the blind, looking earnestly for the EllusivePete who was probably playing with his Spruce Murray Duck or whatever his heap of fire-wood is called.

 

Poor BigPete, is really miffed off at being booked for flying his J160 at 117km above the freeway. "You wait" he said, "when I dob you into my my mate Plod, you'll be right in the poo, and he'll organise you to work a couple of months of nightshifts, you:censored:.and when Macca's is closed. That'll learn yer for sure!!!!!

 

 

RegretfulPete s-l-o-w-l-y realizes that he may have jumped the gun and berated the poor Kaptain :heart: unnecessarily. Able to count the number of his friends on the fingers of one hand, i_dunno he also realizes the Kaptain accounts for 16.23% of the possible places to fly to, :thumb_up: be met and be made welcome (mobile phone and number permitting).

 

 

 

But will the Captain forgive TriggerHappyPete?.........

 

Planedriver, one of the three musketeers on here is convinced he will:heart::heart::heart: meanwhile........

 

......... PS .. The Echuca GA community may have "accounted for their wives and daughters" on a numerical basis but are they certain that those same wives and daughters are still in the same state in which they were left .............

When one strange looking GA guy with a fir hat who turned out to be an ex-pat from Iceland said " You guys worry too much. Where I come from, we'd not only welcome you to stay in our ogloo, but we could teach you a couple of things about life.

 

(1) "We have a saying which goes something like this. Lend an eskimo your axe and it will come back bluntthumb_downthumb_down,but lend him your wife and she will come back sharp :thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

(2) Don't use the yellow snow to make the coffee:cool:

 

 

 

Well Captain, what more can be said.i_dunno

 

You feel responsible.

 

I feel responsible.

 

The Riverland Girl feels responsible.

 

Whatever the case, I'm sure no offence would ever be intended, because we have so much fun here, and would never want anyones feelings hurt. We just have to be a bit more careful that we don't cross the line:thumb_up:.

 

There's always a posssibilty that the J160 driver to who'm we refer, is sick. If this is the case we certainly wish him well, and look forward to his valuable contributions.

 

"Where is BigPete?" the Craptian asked the Aero Club guys who helped him refuel.

 

"Don't know" they said ............. and that was that.

 

Is it at all possible that the Riveland Girl has whisked him away for a bit more fly-fishing? one wonders. Anyway hopefully, it won't be long before we find out.

 

 

Looks fantastic Ian

 

All it needs after the moving chair, is the aerosol of kerro smell, and a knocked off dummy from a Flight Centre shop to sit in the right hand seat:laugh:

 

Rgds

 

Alan

 

 

How much - I wonder.regards

I wonder how they'll compare with a Rotax 912/S or Jabiru 3300? $ for $ Many recreational flyers enjoy their sport on limited budgets, so I imaginge they'd have to bear this factor in mind with the initial cost, even though the TBO's look good.

 

 

Quote Like most inventors, he may be a bit eccentric, but we should enjoy reading about his inventions like the jetpack made out of old vacuum cleaners, before the man in the white coat comes and takes him away.End of quote. Planedriver was so impressed by the ingenuity of EccentricPetes idea of using recycled vacuum cleaners to making a jetpack, powered via a knocked-off Starti-inverter that it got him thinking.How about designing a scaled-down Cessna 337 using a similar power source, he thought. It can suck air in the front, pass through the filter and then push it out the back. Apart from being fun to fly, it could be useful to have at many airstrips.If the first flight of the day was made by one of these, it could vacuum up such things as left-over McDonalds wrappers, discarded unmentionables left by parking couples from the night before, and any bits that have fallen off aircraft.But what would you call such an aircraft, allowing credit to the man that instigated the idea in the first place? Maybe a PeteVac GTV, a Planedriver Sukngo, or even a Fastistartiblaster.Having a STOL performance, from the commercial aspect, they could be an asset to councils around the country for picking up rubbish left by hoons in car parks etc; and Sydney County Council for cleaning up tickertape-parade papers after our athletes come back from Pollutingbeijing. The upgrade model, The AlCanCan, is ideally suitable for cleaning up after pop concerts, and with a few trips to the scouts cash-a-can service would soon recover it's initial cost.Some suggestions as to what extra's should be incorpoated, would be helpful, prior to the initial prodution run.It had been suggested that the design incorporated a disposable bag, but since my divorce, i'd prefer to remain bagless because of the abhorrant costs!!!.

 

PS. Sorry. Looks like the parragrphs and smilies are'nt working again. Grrrrr.

 

 

Johnny tells me that he is doing 250kts and pulling sustained 4G in the turns at between 50ft and 200ft AGL while racing against eight other aircraft at the same time. What a rush!

 

Thats real adrenalin pumping stuff, not for the faint-hearted.I for one, wish him well, and hope reports of the event reach Oz Rgds Alan

 

 

I recall many years ago a trike sadly went in after take off at Toogoolawah.Because gryos were active that day the media asked "What type of plane is yours called?"

 

On the news that day - "A GRYO LIGHT PLANE CRASHED TODAY ....".

 

Murray Baker of ARSA rang up and put it right. Remember if there is no story ... they'll just make one up!!i_dunno

 

Phil

Thats as good as, "man flying ceiling fan crashes into swing-set";);)

 

 

I'm Back. :thumb_up:

Now be gentle.....

 

Back

 

But he's still full of it, which i'm sure really means. ie

 

1 Full of pennance for deserting forums:sorry:

 

2 Full of positives (since reconnecting Jabbybattery)

 

3 Full of praise (where duly deserved)

 

4 Full of pilot humor:laugh:

 

5 Friend of PaleXXXX (Stubbies)

 

6 Friend of Planedriver:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

7 Especially Full of praise (That the word FopPete has been catagorised as an unaceptable forum swearword):yuk::yuk::yuk: and will now be automatically:censored:

 

Be kind to BigPete.

 

Like most inventors, he may be a bit eccentric, but we should enjoy reading about his inventions like the jetpack made out of old vacuum cleaners, before the man in the white coat comes and takes him away:laugh:

Good onya mate,

 

My dad went to his first job with a bloke in his late fifty's who snuffed it, after taking a younger bird home for the night.

 

He did'nt make it through the night, but as two young "bobby's", they could'nt forget the apparent smile on his face:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

I suppose from past experience, we should not be surprised at journo's who rarely seem to get their facts right.

 

Yet again tonight, I fire up my computer which has ninemsn as the homepage, and start to read a news item which states "small jet crashes into Japan highway.

 

It then shows a photo of a Cessna 185, or similar, that has sadly come to grief.

 

Thank God there were no feathers to be seen, otherwise they are likely to claim it was some sort of rare bird.

 

The things clearly got a bloody fan on the front of it, even if it is bent.

 

When are these idiots going to get edumikated?

 

 

Thanks Phil to you and your mates.

 

Where would we be without you.

 

Im my dads day, he only carried his bit of "charlie wood" (truncheon)

 

Sadly, times change.

 

Take care

 

Alan

 

 

You've gotta luv kids.

 

We obviously learn so much from them ;););)

 

 

I rear-ended a car this morning.

 

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

 

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

 

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

 

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me while I was laughing, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

 

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

 

And then the fight started.....

 

 

After retiring, I went to the local Centrelink office to apply for my aged pension.

 

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

 

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

 

 

 

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

 

 

 

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

 

 

 

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

 

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she approved my application.

 

 

 

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at Centrelink.

 

 

 

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have got a disability pension too.

 

 

 

And then the fight started.....:hittinghead:

 

 

 

 

 

Not even all the "hot air" out of Canberra seems to be having much effect, but they'll almost stand on the street corner and give our money away.

 

I think i'm going to start 'The Hot Air Party" and live out the rest of my days in the lap of luxury on the government funding.

 

 

CLIMATE STATEMENT "AN ORCHESTRATED LITANY OF LIES"

Dr David Evans,a consultant to the Australian Greenhouse Office from 1999 to 2005. - There is no evidence to support the idea that carbon emissions cause significant global warming. None. ...The Labor Government is about to deliberately wreck the economy in order to reduce carbon emissions

 

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24036736-7583,00.html

Does this mean that they are going to set an example by downsizing the fleet of gas- guzzling government limmo's to hybrid cars???? NOT ON YOUR NELLY!!!

 

And for anyone who voted them in:hittinghead::hittinghead::hittinghead:

 

Just blame it all on me, because despite of all this global warming??? I'm confused why I've just had to throw another log on the fire in an attempt to even get slightly warm.:confused::confused::confused:

 

 

........."I hope the Captian doesn't find out about this or he'll put sierra hotel india tango on me, and Slarti is sure to put the slipper in"

To the contrary, Slarti who was busy burning the midnight oil working on his Cheetah, remained quiet.

 

Motivated by the totally-wild, BS performace claims of HotRodPete and his Webber carburetted AlfaJabizoom, Slarti had been quietly working away pefecting modifications to minimise the running cost's of of his Cheetah.

 

He'd had this brainwave :idea:to convert his plane to run on gas.

 

He took a trip down to the local Centrelink office and managed to convince the dimwits there, that his vehicle was called a Holden Cheetah, and sucessfully applied for a $500 Government sponsored LPG conversion.;)

 

Now when I go on long distance fly-aways on my own, i'll be able to use the foldaway barbecue thats now built into the right hand seat, he thought.

 

The mods were all well thought out. Alongside his GPS, he now has a bracket which holds the hotplate scraper, bottle of BBQ sauce, spray-n-wipe, and the squeegy for cleaning the splattered fat off the inside of the windscreen prior to landing. (Gee, that boy thinks of everything)

 

Needing to refuel more frequently than he did before, he overflys the nearest truck stop and gets on his CB radio. "Breaker, Breaker, this ere is Slarti in the Cheatah Rig.

 

If yer can move yer bloody Kenworth up a bit, i'll get a clear run up to the LPG bowser, an i've got a couple of leftover snags for yer".:thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

Now enjoying his flying for a modest 10 bucks an hour, in a very warm cabin, he arrives fully fed, but smelling like a hamburger shop, much to the envy of others.