planedriver

One other point to consider is: Dont use WD40 on any rubber as is causes it to swell.

For any of you guys that have roller doors that don't run as well as they used to, clean the guides with steel wool or scotchbride pad, and give a good spray with Mr Sheen or 3-In-One silcon spray.

If you use WD40, the rubber inside the nylofelt edging strip swells and gets progresively tighter in the guides, and the doors then stuffed.

"Once the Riverland girls heads north I'll be able to handle it" said SelfabusePete.

That's because Slartibuttfast is always ...................................

Busy playing with his big cat, as he needs to be at the moment, so he's excused.

So whats this about the Riverland girls (plural). LoyalPete, and FaithfulPlanedriver thought there was only one left we'd be interested in.

The Captain sounds like he's holding back on something!!! and got a few Riverland Fluzzie's up his sleeve which he's not prepared to share with his mates.:raise_eyebrow:.

Not really the right thing to do Capitan.;):confused::devil::pig:

The body language in the photo says it all.

The casual crossed legs with the slight lean, and hand on the spinner proudly says, loud and clear, "she's mine".:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Congratulations Chris, take good care of her.

Regards

Alan

"I am also sick of limping" she explained "So after I finish those 2 off I'll see if I can find my other thong' date=' but what about ............................................"[/color'][/font]

Planedriver?

He's such a gentleman, unlike some of those Murray River boys with only one thing on their mind, and these days he sadly dose'nt measure up to the reputation of the Muuuurumbidgeeeee fellahs.

However, he is known for taking ladies out on his boat and giving them a serve of crabs, (muddie's that is) straight from the traps and into into the wok, with coriander and sweet-chilli sauce:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: and washed down a few glasses of bubbly.That normally does the trick;).and cuts out most of the salesman talk.

paleXXXX meanwhile, is considing changing his forum name, to overcome any confusion. The X's are not suggestive kisses at all:heart::heart::heart::heart: Captain. They are to do with his favourite beverage. One for breakfast:sad:, one for morning tea:chuffed:, one for lunch:big_grin:, and one for dinner:laugh:.(six-packs, that is)

CheapPete also ordered 500,000 party slogan bumper stickers from a Chinese company called "We Stickit Up You". :confused:

Suddenly, the Riverland girl........

Got all excited, on hearing the name of the Chinese label company.

Wow!!! she thought, i'll certainly be in that.

Me Mum's not around, so while she's not looking, I can stick one on my bike, because I like to peddle it around town a bit, as you may have heard.

On hearing that Pete was considering changing his name (by deedpole), she became totally confused:confused::confused::confused:. Russpete, no that did'nt sound right, Bigruss, no that did'nt sound right either, maybe Big Richard she thought. I dunno, not for me to worry about, he'll work it out as he usually does;););););).

Friarpuk was beginning to get a really good reputation for the exceptional qualitiy of his home-made wine ,and decided to give it a proper name on a real label. This way they could charge for it, instead of simply giving it away.

On hearing this, Plod was a bit concerned whether this would contravene the licencing laws. Maybe, it would be acceptable if the profits were donated to a worthwhile charity, he thought. Maybe the Hopetown----- Civil Ordinance Protection Society (Cops)

They were after all, trying to finance an aircraft to be used for weed spotting and to monitor traffic congestion on country roads.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Word has it that Planedriver may have been seeing a lot more of the Riverland girl, than he would want to have general knowledge. They shared the girl's packet of M & M's one lunchtime, but he was a bit confused why she was only giving him the blue one's????

Captain was busy schemeing how to set up his own CASA during the Lympics opening cetemony, and thought that if he could only get it right at a time like this, he run rings round the mob in Canberra.

This made Ian into totally confussed, because he was now wondering whether he'd have to jump in his Gazelle, and leap over to Captain's joint, to apply for a job:question:

Civil Aviation Safety Authority of Orstralya

Dear Mr BigPete,

It is with deep regret, that having perused your Reggy May, the human resources committee consider that you are unfortunately not only overqualified, but also far too intelligent, to fill a position with CASA.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

If you have any mates who you consider are a stubby short of a six-pack, who'd be far more suited to the position, please refer them to us for consideration.

As i'm sure you will understand, being a government department, it is our endevour to maintain our usual pathetically low standards.:hittinghead:

Your's Sincerely

Ivor Floppyprop (CASA Airscrew Safety Division)

a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Constable Plod having enjoyed his free feed, showed great consideration on the day, by taking a stroll downwind, after realizing that he may have eaten a few too many onions.

A few pilots had reported slight wind-sheer just before touchdown and some engines coughed a little, but all landed safely.

Plod was really quite taken in by all the different types of aircraft that had flown in from far and near.

The commisioner should supply me one of these, he thought to himself, then i'd be able to get around my patch a lot quicker. At the same time i'd be able to check out some of those funny looking plants growing in paddocks near those big flash houses.

It could even be fitted with a tank of "Round-up", so I could dive down and give them a quick spray, and then chuckle to myself as I fly off into the sunset watching them wilt like you know what:laugh:.

One by one all the visitors departed the field:wave::wave:and those that had bought the health drinks, decided to take the bottles with them, to possibly refill during the flight home.

FriarPuk went back to the monastry on his horse-drawn buggy, to bottle some more of his home-made plonk for the next event.

The day had been such a success, that the local mayor instructed the (rarely seen) Town Crier to make a public announcement, to thank the organisers for putting on such a good event.

The Town Crier dressed in his traditional costume with the silly hat, duly stopped in the main street and rang his bell vigorously, prior to making the announcement.

Many of the young kids of Nohopetoun had never seen him before, and rushed into the street with their pocket money, thinking it was The Home Delivery Ice-cream truck.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

Back in Canberra the CASA bosses were scratching themseves, (as they normally do), wondering who the hell they could get to fill a vacancy that existed.

As most Canberians are already working in overpaid government jobs, they had to decide whether they got someone from NSW:sad:, or a Mexican, from south of the border;););).

It has been suggested by Planedriver, that preference may possibly be given if BigPete, or , other interested applicants, post thier humorous resume's here for all to see.

The Pakistani had to be contented with the egg, and his wife missed out on catching the hen, because she always has to walk 6 paces behind.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

Good luck Ian.

Tip for the day.

Scratch yourself, and explain why, and you should get the job like the other bloke.

Rgds Alan

Planedriver’s Sharemarket Report.Balloons are up.Drifters came and went.Diamonds were snapped up by the fairer sex.Cheeta’s had a bit of a runaround at today’s trading.Batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.Pipers stocks were a bit of a blow-out.Lazair’s had a small lift.Storm’s were a bit volatile.Fockers were censored.Gyro’s were all of a whirl.Terrier’s were snapped up.Texan’s were big in the market.Tiger Moths seemed in a flutter.Hang Gliders were left floating.Gazelle’s went ahead in leaps and bounds.Pitts were at an all time low.Don’t blame me, if I really need to be locked up.Planedriver.

A bikie went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat drinking his beer, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the bikie and asked, "Are you a real bikie?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on Harleys. My momma was pregnant with me when she rode on the back of my Daddy's Harley, then as a little boy I rode on the back with my Daddy until I finally got my own Harley. I've been riding a Harley ever since. So yes, I guess I am a real bikie."She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women." Then she got up and left. The bikie was thinking about what just happened when a man sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real bikie?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

A man was being interviewed for a job with CASA."Were you in the service?" asked the interviewer."Yes, I was a Marine," responded the applicant."Did you see any active duty?""I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.""May I ask what happened?""Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles.""You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."The somewhat surprised applicant asked, "When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability.""Everyone else starts at 7 o'clock, but I should be honest with you," explained the interviewer. "Nothing gets done before 10 o'clock because we just sit and scratch our nuts trying to decide what to do first."

There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One morning he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the nuts and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the nuts and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the nuts. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Indian said, "Lets argue no longer sahib, you can keep the egg!"

Well done!!

Well done Ben (OFFICIAL UNDERSTATEMENT)What a wonderful turnout, even given the weather and associated problems which prevented even more attending.I would have loved to have been there.Take a sincere pat on the back, because you most obviously deserve it, and your hard work was obviously appreciated by so many.Regards Alan

I've got 500 sausages for the Jabirue pilots, :thumb_up: 120 lamb chops for the Tecnam pilots, plentey of T-Bone steaks for the sportstar mob and vegimite sandwiches for the rest. i_dunno I've even ordered a few bowls of salad (which nobody ever eats) for all the health nuts AND a 200 liter drum of tomato sauce. quoted BigPete.

Despite the considerable effort that had been made to make sure nobody went hungry, and to cater for most taste's, there was a contingent of Greek vistors, armed with their own portable spit, who were seriously eyeing off one off FriaPuk's flock. Word had it that they also had in their possesion, skewers, mint sauce and caviar dip.

The JabJockeys were very grateful for their snags:chuffed::chuffed:as usual.

However, a couple of Sportstar pilots and some snobs from the Eastern Suburbs, who arrived in their Mooney, whinged that they preferred their T bones thick cut.

Ungrateful !!, thought Pete, I'll see if I can my own back later.

Constable Plod from the local contabulary (One of the only two in town) was the first to arrive, in the hopes of getting a free feed, like at Maccas.

"G'day,G'day,G'day, wots goin on here then?" he said, as he spotted the Greek boys setting up thier spit, hidden behind the bushes.

At that moment one of the crew from the Nohopetown Cooking Team cried "Come and get it" and Plod was like a rat up a drainpipe to get his free feed as they usually do. Well you can't protect the local community on an empty stomach. First things first!! he thought.

Over at the first-aid tent, a long que had formed, as word quicky got around that the dead-set georgeous Riverland girl, was assisting with the mouth to mouth resusitation demonstrations.

The 200 litre drum of tomato sauce had hardly been touched, and only a few of the bottles of water had been sold.

S*@@*# !! though BigPete, we're gonna run at a huge loss here, I need some good business advise, and quickly, from someone who knows the ropes.

At that point Ian turned up, and had this brainwave marketing idea to save the day. "Tell you what Pete" he said. "Tip a drop of the water out of each bottle,top it up with tomato sauce, and give it a good shake. We'll sell is as a heath drink, and tell em it's real good for the prostate"

The first to buy was the Mooney owner. Pete walked away from making his first sale, with a wry grin on his face, which went from ear to ear:big_grin:.

"Fantastic" said Ian!!!! (Another successful marketing idea). Before long a big que of maturing attendees lined up behind the sign which read. "Heath Drinks. Live longer, so you can fly for longer". That really did the trick.

The bean counters of the committee were ecstatic with the overall takings, after one of the days helpers, returned with pockets full on money after having sold the leftover chops etc to a nearby truckies food stop.

At the end of the day, there were a few bottles of Ian's special drink left over, which were given to Planedriver. Here mate, you have need for some of this. Hopefully it may help put some out some of the fire from all those radioactive seeds you've in you.

Where the hells the Captain, paleXXX, and Slarti, everyone was asking? Hopefully they come out of the hanger soon, or for that matter anyone else, they'd be very .

Meanwhile, the story goes on...............

G'day Derek, it's good to hear that your training is progressing. albeit a bit slower than you'd really prefer.

Don't panic, you know what they say, "a slow job takes a long time"

You'll get there for sure, and appreciate it even more when you do.

And another positive is........., I bet you've been making good use of the firewood to told us about before,:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Kind Regards

Alan

..... Hello ......Hello.....Hello......Hello.....Anyone there!

It would seem that BigPete is apparently gazing in his crystal ball while conducting some sort of spiritual meeting.

A faint signal comes through from a remorseful Planedriver :wave:who had previously got a bit to cheeky and collected a :black_eye: as result:star::star::star:

Back to the flying bit, Bigpete is sure he can hear the ticks that were actually snuggled up in the Border Liecesters sheepskin coat, and wonders whether he has a bit of a problem with his lifters.

I know he thinks, I'll throw a handfull of sawdust in at the next oil change, that should quieten the problem.

Friarpuks communial wine went down a real treat.:big_grin: What a good drop it was:yawn:, it must have been heaven-sent. As result, things went quiet untill everyone sobered up.

Still a bit giggly, the Riverland girl suggested that they should have gatherings to bless the sheep every weekend.

Not had the chance to meet him yet.

So which one is BigPete?i_dunnoi_dunno

Having just picked up scatted tradies nails in two of my new tyres, it looks like these woud have been a better bet.

Maybe they'll do an aftermarket kit with a cordless drill and studs, for those going to the snow .(just an afterthought).

Or.......

Killer, who was formally known as Linda, said, "I made a special trip downunder to attend this function, and stayed last night at the old pub in town".

"I still have'nt seen anything of my Bill" she said:crying:

The Animals Rights activist's were deeply concerned about the mixed marriages, and set-up a web site with a $2mil grant from their mate Kev, in order that a heritage check can be done.i_dunno

They do not like to share their grass with anyone.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

Meanwhile the Border Liecesters with crosses were certainly acceptable in the eye's of Father FrierPluck.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

"Sorry Pete"

I'll have to keep paragraph's in mind.

So until

You forgive me,

i'll pretend i'm offended about you using the expletive $##@! ( Oh here we go again)

Ban us all , There'll still be Father Friarpluck who has pleny of "good" words co's he got a book-full ready to use.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Most of the sheep had been acting really very strange during the flight, then someone piped in, "It'll wear off, they're all a bit "high" on grass:chuffed::big_grin::yuk:, but I think all the pilots are all OK?

Just prior to touchdown Mozartmerv was quite taken back when one of the sheep he was ferrying, remembered about Maria's ordeal, and burst into song with "Praaaaaise Myyyyyi Soul The King Of Heaaaavn". This was quite a touching moment and brought tears to Mozartmerv's eyes:crying:. On seeing this,the rest of them went "Aaaaaah"

Tis hard to think that these sensitive animals just could'nt wait to be blessed.

So as to not cause any further anxiety to the pilgrims, although it was a freezing cold day, Father Friarpluck quickly hid his nice new sheepskin-lined jacket:laugh:

"G'day Mr Banjopat surely you recognise me? I'm BigPete and i'm just taking my sheep to be blessed from on high. I had to get my mates to help me out a tad, because i'm really desperate you know:crying: and so want them to have their sins forgiven. They're all like family to me, you know!!" he said. On hearing this, the others thought "REALLY"???. But whilst a little embarrased, they remained unusually polite, and never passed further comment. (It takes all kinds they thought) .Mind you there were a few wry grins with the usual nudge,nudge, ;);). we'll say no more Squire.

On hearing that the boys had decided to help BigPete out, our wise mate Nev got on his hand-held radio and suggested that the cargo should sit on their laps tied securely to the seat belts to keep the C.G. in check. Also as they were'nt toilet trained, it may be a wise precaution to cable-tie shoes to the rudder pedals so they don't slip off. Well off they all went, one after the other, like a squadron of Spits in "The Battle of Britain" movie.

Father Friarpuk was waiting for them all to arrive, so he could get the service underway. He was standing by, when he heard them all approaching, and because of the bleeting that had drowned out the 2200 motor during the flight and the methane gas detecter screaming it's head-off all the way, the approach call came crackling through the radio something like --------Eeeeeeeechuka baaaaaaase.This eeeeere is biiiiigPete aaaaaaaaand the boys on finals. Be with yerrrrs soooooooon an Saaave a praaaaayer or two for us, as the stench in eeeer is sumtin terrrrrrrible:sad: because of mee favourite Baaaaasil ooooze sittin on me lap.............

Soor guys try this link

Rgds

Alan