planedriver

They wondered wether the slartiIllserveyouasav'n'saucesambo would have enough....

Slartimakaquid was a lot smarter than Flyer realised, (how else do you become assistant to the big man?)

He had most of it worked out, as wise men do, and some of his calculations went something like this:

Geoff gave himself away with his post, he thought. (I see from his photo that he's a J160 jockey), he'll attend for sure, so i'll add him to the potential sanger or sav list.

J230 would have to be in for a steak (to maintain image) and so it went on.

Pretty smart thinking really:clap:, except Facthunter in his BAC Lightning will have come and gone so quickly, that he would'nt even get a sniff of things.

Can't win em all though, and i'll have to allow for a couple over the top to allow for the needs of drifting drifters drifting in..............

Pipers Piping............

"Yea I know", and a partridge in a pear tree:thumb_up:

Welcome Sol,

You may not realise it yet, but you've certainly found the best place for RAA.

You should learn a lot, as well as laugh a lot, just being part of our wonderful forums.

Good luck with the GFPT.

Meanwhile, unsuspectingandblissfullyunawarePete was ......

pondering over the Captains earlier post

Quote: Welcome back planey, however if the above means that you are a pom "Then we all take all the nice words back" said fiercelycolonialPete, (and particularly if you still have a UK passport).

"Well at least I paid my own bloody fare", came the reply. None of this 10 quid stuff for me, and the arrows would have wore off my suit in over 30yrs anyway, so give us a break!

The Queen did'nt pay for the trip either, but she's not in the good books at the moment anyway.thumb_downthumb_downthumb_down

Apparently she's been advised to keep her private life out of her speeches.

You've probably heard them yourself. "It gives my husband and I great pleasure", etc; etc;

"Hell!. She's sure not the only one", piped in the Riverland Girl, who'll do almost anything to go for a fly.

At that point SupposedlyloyalPete and IllwooyermissesCaptain look the other way hoping nobody has noticed, while they quickly don their sunnies:cool:.

That girl can certainly tell a tale or three. Nudge, Nudge ,Wink, Wink, say no more Squire, before I too, drop myself in the proverbial.

Starti meanwhile, was doing a bit of financial planning, to pay for the earth removal excavators.

Now next Sunday for GhoulBurn, I'll get me truckie neighbour FatguttedKev The Kenwood driver, to drag the airborn (soon) BBQ down to the strip on his low-loader and i'll make a killing in just a couple of hours.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

For the Bundaberg Bentley drivers that want to maintain their immage, he thought, i'll hit em for fifty bucks for a Woolies "quick sale" time expired steak.:yuk::yuk::yuk:

For the up and coming (deputy) captains in LSA's,160's and other breeds, 10 bucks for a sanger sandwich, or cut down the middle sav with sauce left over from the Echuca do.

Lazair pilots, un-buttered bread (because of weight restrictions) but given a quick wipe over the BBQ plate for flavour, for the bargain price of only five bucks.

I'll even have the local scouts at the entrance gates with buckets, (catching those that come by road) to contribute to the Local Wildlife (Cheetah) Restoration Society:laugh: That'll do the trick!!

4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home.

About then an old Grandpa walked in.

One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

The old man said, 'There ain't no way you old biddy's can accurately guess it, :confused::confused::confused::confused:

One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants & under shorts & we can tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped them as requested.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times & to jump up & down several times. Then they all piped up & said, 'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the hell did you guess?'

Slapping their knees & grinning from ear to ear, all 4 old ladies happily yelled in unison---------'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

Oh what have I done thought Planedrivel. Should'nt let a real bad day and bad news govern your emotions.:hittinghead:

We have GobsmackedfairsuckofthesavPete saying nice things.

The Captain of the beautiful hand-built Bundaberg Bentley doing the same.

LandonadimeStorchy dropping in again,with motivating words, and the one and only Riverland girl bringing me a couple of melons to bury my face in, which I did:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: (I thought the ones in the bag were for later)thumb_down.

PaleXXXX reminding us of a bygone erra when kids had some discipline, and making us all feel old, but better for having had the experience of receiving a bit of it.

Like my first flying experience while coming home from school, I picked up a wet cardboard box that was flattened out on the pavement and threw it with all my might. Spinning like a flying-saucer, or so I thought. It landed on an old ladies roof. Seconds later "whack" I copped it across the back of my head with a rolled-up cape from this black-bearded "Bobby" who must have been 10 feet tall, who'd been walking behind me.

My old Dad was his Station Sergeant and I copped it again when I got home.

I loved him dearly though, so never filed for compo, child abuse, reported him to the DOC's of the day, or, tried to divorce my parents on advice from a school councellor.

However, I did learn that it flew better than Jimmy Clarke's school book.

Thanks for the encouragement guys.

Happy to be back:thumb_up:

I imagine you are right there jcamp, because the Lazair has two motors.

:wave:Sad as it may be to me, it would appear that my humor is not appreciated by the other two main players on this thread. I therefore feel that it would be in the best interest of these forums to give this thread a miss from now on.

I have never, at any time born any personal malice to either concerned, or sadly, ever had the pleasure of meeting them in person, but just simply tried my best by adding my two cents worth of humor.

It would be great to see a few more members involve themselves a little, after all there are around two thousand members here, not just barely a handful, so come on guys, while I take a break, go for it, and add your contribution.

To the "two muskateers", thanks for the past fun, but if my comments have offended you in any way, I sincerely appollogise. It would certainly not have been intentional.

Fly safe and be happy.:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

Life's far too short for anything else.

Kind regards

Alan

Meanwhile, hopefully the story continues..............

“but i am still going to have to write you a ticket”.

“For what!” Bob says.

“Tacks evasion.”

Fantastic result Ian, despite the heartwrenching time you and Corrine would have gone through.

Thank you Phil and PaleXXX for your kind words.

Despite the fact that I am now of pension age, i'm still very proud to say that i'm the son of a policeman, and rightly so.

Keep up the good work.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Kind Regards

Alan

Good to see the photos asic45. Thanks for posting them.

Rgds Alan

Hey Merv,

Did your misses write the quote at the botton of your last post, or should you have removed it on this occasion?

Rgds Alan

Soon the new pimpley-faced Team Leader at Maccas instigated a merit award system, for the most successful "Burger Bomber of the month".

For the first few months, the Captain really had things stitched up, and no one else could get near him. However, his lack of modesty was his downfall.

He insisted on sticky-tapeing all his awards to the outside of his aircraft, so all the world would know that he was No 1. But with all drag from all his awards and bits of sticky-tape flapping in the slipstream, his big plastic parrot was reduced to a maximum speed of 69 knots at 5800rpm and ModestPete started to catch up.

DeterminedPete had a brainwave, and installed a 2 inch plastic tube alongside the 4 inch delivery tube.

This new tube he used as a diggeridoo, and simalir to the icecream mans bell, he bellowed through it while flying at low altitude and this summoned all the kids from the indigenous settlements, to his new aerial delivery service.

So successful was this ingenius bit of marketing, that before long, he had to remove his right hand seat to make room for all the popular new WichetyBurgers and deep-fried grasshoppers (would you like with flys with your order).

The Maccas bean-counter was loosing his hair at all the unpaid accounts since this new service had been introduced, but this was not Pete's worry.

Not wishing to be outdone, the Captain and others involved, were all busy conceiving various modifications to improve their performance, much to the delight of the Team Leader.

After spending a very uncomfortable night in the cells, :yuk: IncarceratedPete again struggled to come to terms with his identity. If I'm not really here NowYouSeeMeNowYouDon'tPete pondered, then I won't have to pay the speeding fine or the fuel bill for the Jabirue. :) Telstra can whistle for their money as well - Crikey I won't even have to go to work tomorrow. :thumb_up:

 

As the calming injection started to wear off, he thought, i'll show these turkeys a thing or two.

 

To the Police Deopartment, he sent his fine, accompanied by a photo of a hundred dollar bill, but was disappointed when it was returned to him with a photo of Long Bay Jail.

 

To Telstra and the others he owed money to, they all received their bills back, with a copy of a book called "BigPetes Favourite Tunes You Can Whistle To".:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

When he first saw the men in white coats he freaked out, as you would do at a time like this, and all sort of whierd thoughts went through his mind.

 

Are they really dentists coming to take my teeth out, or, to put some in?

 

Could they be Russian Secret Police:cool: coming to get me, simply because of what I was thinking, while watching their gorgeous gymnast at the Lympics, or, am I behind with my RAA membership?

 

He was starting to feel a bit better as his memory slowly returned, largely because of what he'd learned from Maria, as he burst into song, with

 

"Whenever I feel afraid

 

I hold my head erect

 

And whistle a happy tune

 

So no one will suspect

 

I'm afraid. :thumb_up:

 

Sombody must love me:heart:, and recognise me for who I am:yuk:, he thought.

 

The Crud Government got to hear about IncarsaratedPetes idea and really liked it. "Tell yer wot Swanny Boy" said the normally indecisive Kev, maybe we can cover our wage increases and exhorbitant spending, by sending a copy of this Pete blokes book to anyone who applies for a pension. The may hit the fan for a while, so i'll send you on an overseas junket till things settle.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

....."Show me some better ID, as I have checked all of your names and even under the spelling of nomdeplumePete and you don't exist, sir, although there is a lot of unintelligable stuff about you on the forum" (this is actually a very clever play on words relating to police intelligence on crims like triadPete ..... so there)

 

"But what if ..............................."

"all these allias'es i'm supposed to have, can be proved to be a figment of someones vindictive imagination",said the nervous offender,would I then be elligible for a simple caution, instead of having to dip into my pocket money?

"G'da, G'day, G'day, what do we have here then? A fifty dollar note neatly folded and sticky-taped to your driving licence. Surely this would have to be an attempt to pevert the course of justice?

Now this is a serious matter indeed, which has made you elligable for a free ride in my police car?

Had it been a gift voucher for a couple of TIF's, that would have been entirely different, and the matter could have possibly been overlooked.

"Such a nice girl that sister of yours, and very few of them left" :heart::heart::heart:said Pete (or whatever his real name is) trying to change the subject and find the kinder side of walloperfop. but all to no avail.

Off they went at great speed, with lights flashing and sirens wailing.

Clutching tightly onto his seat, whiteknuckledPete thought he should have rotated long ago. This bloody things even faster than the four stripers big plastic parrot he thought, and enquired whether he was exceeding his VNE.

"Dont get smart with me sonny, I simply have to drop you off at the watchhouse and make it to The Golden Arches, before they finish with the breakfast menu.

Friarpuk, on hearing who was now in the lockup, decided to pay him a visit and take him some breakfast from the monastery.

"Oh No" came the cry, "not wild oats again, that's what seems to be getting into so much trouble".

Poor Friarfuk being a man of the cloth, missed the point completely.i_dunnoi_dunnoi_dunno

........................Now .... it's best that I let this peter out (peterPete) and back to the N.E.S. where the riverland girl is asking "Just who is BigPete?"

BigPete, or is it BigJohn ,the Riverland Giril wants to know. Whichever it is, "you know I love being spoiled" she said ;););););) and i'm not overly fussy.

At this point the Captain started to get a bit jealous, for it is I who have the-- quote "big plastic Jabiroo parrot". he said, To which BigPete replied, " Yea but I have a real mobile phone, not like those in toyshops, mine has it's very own individual number :big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:.for those that care to ring it:cool:

The Kaptain flies for hours but never sees BigPete. Unfortunately.

What a shame, now if he'd had at least had the common decency to pick up Planedriver on the way, there would at least have been the blind leading the blind, looking earnestly for the EllusivePete who was probably playing with his Spruce Murray Duck or whatever his heap of fire-wood is called.

Poor BigPete, is really miffed off at being booked for flying his J160 at 117km above the freeway. "You wait" he said, "when I dob you into my my mate Plod, you'll be right in the poo, and he'll organise you to work a couple of months of nightshifts, you:censored:.and when Macca's is closed. That'll learn yer for sure!!!!!

RegretfulPete s-l-o-w-l-y realizes that he may have jumped the gun and berated the poor Kaptain :heart: unnecessarily. Able to count the number of his friends on the fingers of one hand, i_dunno he also realizes the Kaptain accounts for 16.23% of the possible places to fly to, :thumb_up: be met and be made welcome (mobile phone and number permitting).

But will the Captain forgive TriggerHappyPete?.........

Planedriver, one of the three musketeers on here is convinced he will:heart::heart::heart: meanwhile........

......... PS .. The Echuca GA community may have "accounted for their wives and daughters" on a numerical basis but are they certain that those same wives and daughters are still in the same state in which they were left .............

When one strange looking GA guy with a fir hat who turned out to be an ex-pat from Iceland said " You guys worry too much. Where I come from, we'd not only welcome you to stay in our ogloo, but we could teach you a couple of things about life.

(1) "We have a saying which goes something like this. Lend an eskimo your axe and it will come back bluntthumb_downthumb_down,but lend him your wife and she will come back sharp :thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

(2) Don't use the yellow snow to make the coffee:cool:

Well Captain, what more can be said.i_dunno

You feel responsible.

I feel responsible.

The Riverland Girl feels responsible.

Whatever the case, I'm sure no offence would ever be intended, because we have so much fun here, and would never want anyones feelings hurt. We just have to be a bit more careful that we don't cross the line:thumb_up:.

There's always a posssibilty that the J160 driver to who'm we refer, is sick. If this is the case we certainly wish him well, and look forward to his valuable contributions.

"Where is BigPete?" the Craptian asked the Aero Club guys who helped him refuel.

"Don't know" they said ............. and that was that.

Is it at all possible that the Riveland Girl has whisked him away for a bit more fly-fishing? one wonders. Anyway hopefully, it won't be long before we find out.

Looks fantastic Ian

All it needs after the moving chair, is the aerosol of kerro smell, and a knocked off dummy from a Flight Centre shop to sit in the right hand seat:laugh:

Rgds

Alan

How much - I wonder.regards

Quote Like most inventors, he may be a bit eccentric, but we should enjoy reading about his inventions like the jetpack made out of old vacuum cleaners, before the man in the white coat comes and takes him away.End of quote. Planedriver was so impressed by the ingenuity of EccentricPetes idea of using recycled vacuum cleaners to making a jetpack, powered via a knocked-off Starti-inverter that it got him thinking.How about designing a scaled-down Cessna 337 using a similar power source, he thought. It can suck air in the front, pass through the filter and then push it out the back. Apart from being fun to fly, it could be useful to have at many airstrips.If the first flight of the day was made by one of these, it could vacuum up such things as left-over McDonalds wrappers, discarded unmentionables left by parking couples from the night before, and any bits that have fallen off aircraft.But what would you call such an aircraft, allowing credit to the man that instigated the idea in the first place? Maybe a PeteVac GTV, a Planedriver Sukngo, or even a Fastistartiblaster.Having a STOL performance, from the commercial aspect, they could be an asset to councils around the country for picking up rubbish left by hoons in car parks etc; and Sydney County Council for cleaning up tickertape-parade papers after our athletes come back from Pollutingbeijing. The upgrade model, The AlCanCan, is ideally suitable for cleaning up after pop concerts, and with a few trips to the scouts cash-a-can service would soon recover it's initial cost.Some suggestions as to what extra's should be incorpoated, would be helpful, prior to the initial prodution run.It had been suggested that the design incorporated a disposable bag, but since my divorce, i'd prefer to remain bagless because of the abhorrant costs!!!.

PS. Sorry. Looks like the parragrphs and smilies are'nt working again. Grrrrr.

Johnny tells me that he is doing 250kts and pulling sustained 4G in the turns at between 50ft and 200ft AGL while racing against eight other aircraft at the same time. What a rush!

Thats real adrenalin pumping stuff, not for the faint-hearted.I for one, wish him well, and hope reports of the event reach Oz Rgds Alan

I recall many years ago a trike sadly went in after take off at Toogoolawah.Because gryos were active that day the media asked "What type of plane is yours called?"

 

On the news that day - "A GRYO LIGHT PLANE CRASHED TODAY ....".

 

Murray Baker of ARSA rang up and put it right. Remember if there is no story ... they'll just make one up!!i_dunno

 

Phil

I'm Back. :thumb_up:

Now be gentle.....

 

Back

 

But he's still full of it, which i'm sure really means. ie

 

1 Full of pennance for deserting forums:sorry:

 

2 Full of positives (since reconnecting Jabbybattery)

 

3 Full of praise (where duly deserved)

 

4 Full of pilot humor:laugh:

 

5 Friend of PaleXXXX (Stubbies)

 

6 Friend of Planedriver:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

7 Especially Full of praise (That the word FopPete has been catagorised as an unaceptable forum swearword):yuk::yuk::yuk: and will now be automatically:censored:

 

Be kind to BigPete.

 

Like most inventors, he may be a bit eccentric, but we should enjoy reading about his inventions like the jetpack made out of old vacuum cleaners, before the man in the white coat comes and takes him away:laugh:

Good onya mate,

My dad went to his first job with a bloke in his late fifty's who snuffed it, after taking a younger bird home for the night.

He did'nt make it through the night, but as two young "bobby's", they could'nt forget the apparent smile on his face:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

I suppose from past experience, we should not be surprised at journo's who rarely seem to get their facts right.

Yet again tonight, I fire up my computer which has ninemsn as the homepage, and start to read a news item which states "small jet crashes into Japan highway.

It then shows a photo of a Cessna 185, or similar, that has sadly come to grief.

Thank God there were no feathers to be seen, otherwise they are likely to claim it was some sort of rare bird.

The things clearly got a bloody fan on the front of it, even if it is bent.

When are these idiots going to get edumikated?