planedriver

The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, very well-dressed, good-looking man in his late 40s or early 50's.

'May I help you?' she asked.

I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.

'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,' said the madam.

'No. I must see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.

Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man. 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?' she asked.

The man replied, 'Melbourne.'

'Really' she said. 'I have family in Melbourne.'

'I know,' the man said. 'Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death

2. Taxes ....... and

3. Being screwed by a Melbourne lawyer

Sure thing Ben.

And it definately works, I only got up up once last night.

It's sad that advancement is often made by people with a vision, who pay the ultimate price before all the bugs are ironed out.This man created something he believed in, and one day it may still become reality through the interest and admiration of others in his work, who may carry on where he left off.

I'm sure many of us here would like a good reliable means of flying from A to B safely, with the sort of economy that the design envisaged.

Funny this post should come up today, only last night I was looking at several web-sites regarding the Ligetti Stratos. It looks a mean little machine so different from the rest in the croud, but sadly came to grief when stalled on finals after a short flight after numerous modifications. Apparently the son who is an acomplished aeronautical engineer is working on a second generation model. It will be very interesting to see what the outcome is.

There is quite a bit of info at this site http://www.ligetistratos.com/history_story.htm which you may like to check out, if you have not done so already.

Rgds Alan

[ATTACH]5746.vB[/ATTACH]

Like the squirrel, I think i'll keep my nuts to myself, co's in a few days they'll be radioactive and will probably glow in the dark and be incapable of jumps like the grasshopper.

Always Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing.

Just after the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'And tell me, how old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, just two years older than me'.

'So you're now 96, that's absolutely wonderful.

She responded, 'Hardly worth making the trip back home, is it?

It comes to us all one day, but I sure feel like i'm getting old.

I've had two bypass surgeries you know. a hip replacement,

two new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, i'm half blind, and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine at take-off power, even with new batteries in my hearing aid.

I take 40 different medications a day that are inclined to make me a bit dizzy, short-winded, blurred vision and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia, (but can't remember when), and poor circulation;

Can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have lost all most of my friends. but thank God for Rec/Aus, I still have my pilots certificate.

At least this way, if I climb till it won't go any higher, i feel i'm a bit closer to getting to heaven. ;););) Anyone got a plane I can borrow to go for a fly?

Don't laugh, this is serious stuff!! For me this started years ago

I feel like my body has got pretty much out of shape from what it used to.

So I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, I twisted, I gyrated, I jumped up and down, and sweated like a pig for almost an hour. but by the time I got my leotards on,the class was over.

At Sydney's Jetstar Check-In today, I thought i'd humor the girl at the desk and said "Please send one of these bags to Hobart, one to Darwin and the other to Macua". She said, “We can't do that Sir!†--------I replied, thats utter B.S. you did it last week!â€

Solicitors are known for telling "porky pies", and he was no exception.

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Hi lazarin,

Good luck with whatever training you eventually decide on.

I know for a fact there are some very experienced guys on this site who freely pass on good sound advise, based on their vast experience and are well worth listening to.

Good well absorbed training in the early stages, should should be a great base to build on, for safer flying in years to come.:thumb_up:

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T." The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer to Mars.":hittinghead:

She: You just don't seem to care about me anymore!

He: You're just upset. Why don't I buy you something to make you feel better?

She: Like what?

He: How about a trip to America?

She: No.

He: What about a new Jaguar?

She: No.

He: Well, what DO you want?

She: A divorce.

He: (Pause) I wasn't planning on spending that much.

( I can relate to this, as it hit me about the time I was going to buy myself a Grumman Tiger) I donated my nice six bedroom home:censored:, but I do still have the old push-bike.

One morning at the law office, one lawyer looked at the other and said, "Wow, you look really crook this morning." The other lawyer replied, "Yeah, I woke up with a headache this morning and, no matter what I try, I can't seem to get rid of it." The first lawyer told him, "Whenever I get a headache like that, I take a few hours off during the day, go home, and make love to my wife. Works every time for me." Later that afternoon, the two lawyers met again. The first told the second, "You know, you look 100% better than this morning." The second replied, "Yeah, that was great advice you gave me. Oh! and by the way you have a beautiful house too".:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Good stuff.

Enjoyed the video as well. Glad I had'nt eaten breakfast before watching it. co's my stomack aint any where near as strong as yours:sorry:.

Cheers

Alan

If I was buying the aircraft, I would be happier to see an entry in the log book however minor the damage, with a note that it had been thoroughly checked out by someone competent after the event, rather than find out the hard way that there was a bit more damage than originally thought.

Anyway it looks like the story had a happy ending, which is the main thing.

Good stuff.

Thats awesome Matt.

I certainly got a buzz just reading about it.

Looking forward to your next post.

What a great oportunity to learn more under such skilful guidence.

Your poor old CF4 probably wondered who was cracking the whip making it do manouveres is had'nt had to do for quite some time, but probably enjoyed every bit of it.

Keep us posted.

Rgds

Alan

Saving for 50 yrs

The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of

attention as he checked into the resort hotel.

The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining

room, lookin' great with a big smile on his face and proceeded to

order an enormous breakfast.

He laughed and joked with everyone and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his

young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn

out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask

her to repeat the order.

The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for

their room. This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride,

"Honey, I can't figure it out. That old gent, sorry, I mean your new husband, looks

like a million gollars and you look like two cents. What's wrong?"

"That guy double-crossed me," the bride said. "He told me he'd

saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was

talking about his money!" ;););)

A truckie who has been on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel on the outskirts of Alice Springs.

He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down £500 and says: "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies: "Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm homesick."

I had one once, but at least the dog was pleased to see me when I came home from work.

Darren,

This is good news, and i've have known about this place for a long time now, but doubt whether you'd ever find time to get there, because you and Emma are always heading away somewhere on bargain flights. You seem to have "the good oil" on these great offers, so if you find any round the world trips for 50 bucks, i'm happy to pay for you and Emma and the kids to go as well, if you just spread the word.

Rgds Alan

You're welcome mate, happy to assist.