planedriver
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Posts posted by planedriver
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Yea! Storchy, to say nothing about streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeching the dollar further, so you can afford to go straight away, if the missus starts nagging you;).
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Welcome Brad
Book youself a tif (trial instruction flight) with the club in the Jab and you'll probably go home on a "high".
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Providing The Bogle Bogles, dont complain;).
None of us get any younger regardless of how we may try:crying:
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How old am I?
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply."
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck , go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't" she says.
"I was behind you at McDonalds."
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Hey Daren,
Nice Photo, looks like Emma talked you into growing a beard while in Vietnam.
Is that why she always has such a lovely smile on her smile on her face? ;);)
Rgds
Alan
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When I was in London a few months ago, I was approached by a prostitute as I left a club on one of the back streets of Soho. Mainly interested in checking the rate of exchange I assure you, I asked: "How much?"
"It'll cost ya twenty quid" replied the tart.
"American Express?" I inquired.
She gave me an appraising look and said: "You can go as fast as you like"
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Ok Ian, I get the message. "If the cap fits, wear it"
There could possibly be a few others on these forums that think it's intended for them also. I won't suggest any names though:censored:
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Hey steady on mate!
Was this really supposed to be about Julie Andrews, or were you having a shot at me?
Rgds
Planedriver
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G'day Bob and welcome.
That was an interesting read and shows how important it is to deal with real specialists.
That barrister obviously knows his stuff.
I have saying that go's something like this:
I you need brain surgery go to see a brain surgeon (sounds obvious)
You could see the local butcher as he too cuts meat, but the specialist surgeon invariably does a far better job.
Rgds Alan
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Silly me, I missed that one.
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An English man, Irishman and a Scottishman are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, "The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free". Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottishman says,"..yeah. That's quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free." Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer. The Irish man says "Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the backroom for a naughty"
The English says "WOW! Did that happen to you?" and the Irishman replies "No, but it happened to my sister, who works behind the bar."
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I liked the story Derek.
Don't worry about comma's.
When you get to my age it's easier to read, because, I, can, stop,to,take,another, breath.
Rgds.
Alan
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Nice pic's
Nice pic's Doug.
At least in a Jabiru you have a chance to take in the scenery.
A bit different if you were sitting astride a couple of Avons in a Lightning ha ha!
The Jab does'nt have a climb rate of 50,000ft/min either, but is cheaper to run.
Gotta be grateful for some things:thumb_up:.
Rgds
Alan
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Sorry that the pictures did'nt come out in the post.
Maybe they were "stealth fighters"
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Seems faster now
Last night it seemed very slow compared with when it first started, but now it's fine again. I'm on broadband with Optus.
Maybe it was the banner.
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SEEING IS BELIEVING!
The Iraqi jet, an advanced Russian MiG-25 Foxbat, was found buried in the sand after an informant tipped off U.S. troops.
The MiG was dug out of a massive sand dune near the Al Taqqadum airfield by U.S Air Force recovery teams. The MiG was reportedly one of over two dozen Iraqi jets buried in the sand, like hidden treasure, waiting to be recovered at a later date. Contrary to what some in the major media have reported, not all the jets found were from the Gulf War era.
The Russian-made MiG-25 Foxbat being recovered by U.S. Air Force troops in the photos is an advanced reconnaissance version never before seen in the West and is equipped with sophisticated electronic warfare devices.
U.S. Air Force recovery teams had to use large earth-moving equipment to uncover the MiG, which is over 70 feet long and weighs nearly 25 tons.
The Foxbat is known to be one of Iraq's top jet fighters. The advanced electronic reconnaissance version found by the U.S. Air Force is currently in service with the Russian air force. The MiG is capable of flying at speeds of over 2,000 miles an hour, or three times the speed of sound, and at altitudes of over 75,000 feet.
The recovery of the advanced MiG fighter is considered to be an intelligence coup by the U.S. Air Force... The Foxbat may also be equipped with advanced Russian- and French-made electronics that were sold to Iraq during the 1990s in violation of a U.N. ban on arms sales to Baghdad.
The buried aircraft at Al Taqqadum were covered in camouflage netting, sealed and, in many cases, had their wings removed before being buried more than 10 feet beneath the Iraqi desert.
X Marks the Spot
The discovery of the buried Iraqi jet fighters illustrates the problem faced by U.S. inspection teams searching Iraq for weapons of mass destruction. Iraq is larger in size than California and the massive deserts south and west of Baghdad were used by Saddam Hussein to hide weapons during the first Gulf war.
U.S. intelligence sources have already uncovered several mass grave burial sites in the open deserts with an estimated 10,000 dead hidden there. In addition, Iraqpreviously hid SCUD missiles, chemical weapons and biological warheads b y burying them under the desert sand.
U.N. inspe ction teams found the weapons in the early 1990s after detailed information of the exact locations was obtained.
Top U.S. weapons inspector Dr. David Kay is known to favor human intelligence as the primary means to
find Iraq's hidden treasure trove of weapons and secrets.
While there are rumors of Iraqi chemical and biological weapons being shipped to nearby Syria, the weapons may very well still remain inside Iraq buried under the vast desert wastelands.
Some critics of the Bush administration have claimed that the inability of U.S. forces to uncover weapons of mass destruction is proof that the president misled the nation into the war with Iraq.
However, in recent days the critics have fallen silent as word quietly leaked from Iraq that major discoveries have already been made and are now being documented completely. Bush administration officials are keeping any such discoveries secret for the moment.
Warning!
For anyone lucky enough to get one, don't expect to cruise at 100 knots on 14 ltrs an hour.
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A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:
"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it."
EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER:
"By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years."
COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT:
"By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another order, something which occurs once every 75 years."
LIEUTENANT TO SERGEANT:
"Tomorrow at 2000 hours, the Colonel will appear in the theater with Halley's comet, something which happens every 75 years. If it rains, the Colonel will order the comet into the battalion area."
SERGEANT TO SQUAD:
"When it rains tomorrow at 2000 hours, the phenomenal 75-year-old General Halley, accompanied by the Colonel, will drive his comet through the battalion area theater in fatigues." :confused:
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A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng." :hittinghead:
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Yes, you do have to be registered to access it, but it only takes a minute of your time and is well worth the effort.
The views over our harbour are always magic.
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Congratulations Keith.
Probably a little bit easier on the nerves at Innisfail, than it would have been three abreast on finals at Bankstown.
Well done, another milestone in your life to remeber.
Rgds
Alan
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After being married for 37 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said: "Honey, 35 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old gal. Now I have a $500K home, a $45K car, king-size bed and plasma screen TV,
but I'm sleeping with a 58-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.:hittinghead:
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No hourly rates to worry about either.
The first flight's on them!!!!!!!!!!!
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Very funny.
Thank God i'm not the only one with a warped sense of humour.
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Sorry the photo's don't appear to have come out in this post, because they were well woth seeing. Maybe the file size was too big. Hopefully Ian, Darren or someone with abit more computer knowledge acn put me right.
Alan
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new Remos G3/600 guy here
in Just Landed - Welcome
Posted
:wave:Nice looking aircraft Philipnz.
##$)***^@*
&^%$#$#@!! \
:help:Sorry, can't seem to find a smiley that resembles me dribbling.
Rgds
Alan