Stumbled across a website with loads of funny chatter:-
Here are a few examples (Submitted by Viki Lishe - Braniff International Flight Attendant)
Cessna 152: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred"
Controller: " Roger, contact Houston Space Center"
727 pilot: "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?"
Controller: "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth."
Controller: "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60.
(pause)
Controller: "USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!"
(pause)
Controller: "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"
Pilot: "Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude."
N123YZ: "ALTITUDE!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say airspeed."
N123YZ: "AIRSPEED!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say cancel IFR."
N123YZ (Pause) "Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated."
ATC: "Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019."
Pan AM 1: "Could you give that to me in inches?"
ATC: "Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019."
Tower: "Aircraft on final, go around, there's an aircraft on the runway!"
Pilot Trainee: "Roger" (pilot continues approach)
Tower: "Aircraft, I said GO AROUND!!!"
Pilot Trainee: "Roger"
The trainee doesn't react, lands the aircraft on the numbers, rolls to a twin standing in the middle of the runway, goes around the twin and continues to the taxiway.
Unknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"