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.......Committee for better Drainage and Golf Courses. Oahu had not been the same since Cappy and Turbo lost their beloved cars partner, Princes Iolani on that terribe night when.......

.......the Australian Government, desperate to keep out the Chinese Hordes from living and interbreeding with the islanders who already enjoyed free Drifters when they turned 21 .......... NES acknowledges the Turbine Tribe owners of the land on which we stand and pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.

......records. Cappy's emotional, if verbose, post above is because he claims to have invented surfing in the Big Flood on the Murrumbidgee. He surfed Murrumbidgee King Wave in the 1923 flood from Wagga Wagga to the Gillenbah truck stop on a piece of corrugated iron. Not many people know that in fact surfing was invented in Polynesia by Akamulakikaipo Duke Turbine, the son of the famous Joshua Duke Turbine who rowed a boat from Aberdeen to SanFransico in 1657, island hopping on the way. It was on the stopover at Nikumaroro that he found ........

.....subject and that's exactly what Turbo was trying to do. He'd been called on the RedPhone by Langley at 320 hours and told to activate for a Black Swan event, well it wasn't one now but it's going to be after we strike. As luck would have it, Turbo had been up to the Spratleys and checked all the Corsairs, now numbering six. Old Nobushi was in charge of them. He's 97 now and banned from flying airctraft, but Turbo notices each time he goes up that each airctraft has flown a few more hours. (. Nob's likely to be first off the deck if this BS all blows up.) As NES readers know President XI is a mate of Cappy and Turbo who give him free use of the resort (XI usually leaves it in a mess, but that's all right.) Late one night XI had blurted out that Trump was a XXXX and XI was going to attack Pearl Harbour. With the aid of Cappy's gin and Turbo's reasoning that the last effort didn't go all that well, and Nob blurting out "Yeah, I got to go to XXXXXX COWLA they thought they had the situation under control, but last week the infrared cams in the Spratleys showed a big fleet silently heading towards the Hawaiian Islands. Two stopped apparently when they ran out of battery and the rudder fell of a third, but the fleet charged on. Turbo had done what Langley wanted and sent little Albo up to pacify XI, but .........

......well it was owned by Cappy through a dummy corporation in the Maldives, but Cappy knows that, so it's a leading question best to be avoided unless.......

........sky, beautifully flown through the wingover at the end of the runway, then disappearing into the clouds. It was in one particular Cumulonimbus that he found a ........... NESers please note: Capp is talking about his skills as a Barrister at the WaggaWaggari Latte Hall Coffee Shop and Nail Painters.

..........had just rolled his Sling 2 out of the hangar ready for some manouvres when there was the unmistakeable sound of a Volkswagen Kombischaffen screaming across the tarmac, AK47s out every window tearing the windsock off its hinges. He did the only thing he could do .................

Done. 52 including two spectators.

Turbo is unable to comment as it is the Sabbath.

......a payout of $50.00 per person, and he allocated Cappy to manage any payments. Cappy realised these would be coming from his own pocket and there were going to be 10,000 people because there was a BNS ball out at Big Red. The utes had already started the elimination runs up the big sand hill. Turbo gassed up at Moorabbin and set the GPS for Birdsville, laid back and went to sleep with the 150 dbA exhausts crackling in his ears. "Better than a swag" he thought. At Birdsvile he headed for Big Red, and put the big Hurricane down to prop top level in the dirt; the utes disappeared off the track and at the last millisecond Turbo made a couple of adjustments and the big prop was tearing up Big Red and over the top. He went on to Bedourie and won the third race by flying between the fences. The horses took six weeks of hunting to find and there were jockeys out there for months walking in all directions. There didn't have to be a payout, and Turbo and Cappy were signing autographs all night until Cappy touched ......... Turbo flew up one year for the Easter Goat Races and stayed out on a property. The Ligtning Ridge Cup is held on the Saturday past the mine holes and through the scrub. One year the Clerk of Course phoned the property owner saying; "Could I borrow your white horse? Mine's come up lame." The property owner said she was too young and skittish but the Clerk of Course said it was her or running - life The mare came in first that year.

.....a bag containing a Maccas Chicken Wings medium meal, 7 Ipads, 2 GoPros and his car keys. This wasn't going to be ............

........ERSA to plug any ........

....take his finger off and try some other method of flying such as .......

It's not as formal as RA and simpler, and it's possible that the person didn't check or didn't have his harness done up or the latch was only partially engaged and there was a sudden movement, mybe a gust of wind. Nothing most of us haven't done at some stage.

.....ability with something serious like a Jabiru J230. There are so many stories about Cappy and what he called the "Wine Run" but really was flying with the wheels scraping the ground to get under the radar and bring Queensland immigrants back to Wagga Wagga as Roadhouse managers, butchers, chefs and firepersons. Loxie had learnt to yell GET ON THAT HOSE EH! and had his team in the top ten at fhe Fairies games but......................

........made from kindergarten gold paint and sheep droppings. Cappy would invite the prospective owner down the mine and there in a little grotto would be the flecks of gold and odour of sheepsh!t that none of them woke up to ....................

....sell mines and minesellers are a breed of their own, knowing all the tecniques from.......

......threw a burkha over Pangy walked into the bush and threw him into the blackberries, before returning and standing silently in his white shirt, black pants and 367 magnum. No one gave cheek in Cappy's clinic. After the doctor had told Cappy to lose 6 kilos, stop smoking, and take up a hobby like flying [avref], he looked around for Pangy. He'd taken a liking to the cute little fellow. The mother and short-fingered child had gone and the Bomb Chucker just outstared him so he went down to the local airfield and bought a new Jabiru. He didn't believe in currency, so he fulled it up and set sail, so to speak for .........

............sliced a toddler's finger off with one slice with a Major Scale. The mother offered to ........

.....Waiting room, running around for people to pat him; they had bleeding fingers afterwards but Pangy would sit up, tap a little beat on the floor the floor with his scales and say XXXX XXX in Spanish. Since no one knew Spanish he got away with it. It was when the nurse came up and said "Hi Pangy!" that ......

.....Peking Duck Stew nobody tell diffrence hao hao! It was a few months after these comments that the story came out about Cappy. As much as he rubbishes Turbo, he's always watching for something to copy, and he decided to replicate a Turbine Cat farm using Pangolins. Without the intricate knowledge of things like Food Conversion Ratio, breeding and safe animal handling, this is almost impossible. He'd been very quiet lately and we'd noticed that he had a pronounced limp, but out of courtesy none of us asked what had happened. Then one night Turbo got a call from his Gwanzou Cat Farm manager Chop Ho who asked how he was with a chuckle. Chop explained that Cappy had gone out into the Forbidden Jungle to catch Pangolins. He'd taken a pair of Bunnings gloves with him and had run down and caught four. The fifth one got him. You'll notice from the picture that the Pangolin's scales restricted its running spped, but there were no scales around its jaws which were like a vice. Its defence was to run away and let the predator catch up, then sharply raise its jaws and put the brakes on. On the overrun this one managed to snap Cappy by the nuts and hang on. The sharp scales ripped the insides of his thighs to shreds and he was running with his legs apart and the Pangolin hanging off his swingers when.................

.....match the supply of cats to the restaurant's orders. It didn't take long for the word to get around "Hey Long See, don't take cat to vet at dinner time - rot of pet heart attack that time me think - bird too, pluck before you get him back and ...............

.....ingers are next, followed by a demonstration of ...........

........and it only came to light when Putin yelled at his General "Wheresky are my XXXXXXX TANKSKYS?", and the General had to explain that the Russian Space Programme people had requested 40 Cosmonates (tank turret assys) to go into Space instead of Cosmonauts, stuffing up .........

the sum of the hypotenuse which was quickly amswered by Tenderloin who sniggered and said "There aren't any hippos in Australia". It wasn't that this was an incorrect answer, but that he got 9 likes and 3 winners, and someone else said it dependong on whether you were wearing ...........