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turboplanner

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Everything posted by turboplanner

  1. turboplanner
    ....open laughter. Turbo scowled; he had supported these jounalists for years;played cricket with them, dressed them when they'd had too much to drink, and even written their stories for them when they were laying in the back rooms of the Melbourne club paralitic, bet when he started to tell them the story of the 7.62 they were moved to tears. Yes, it was true there were no rifling marks. The senior officers were the first to leave their posts when the edrvishes started ti win. Turo calulated their mathematical advantage at 1.04:1 so the best he could hope for was to die like a herol in 14 months and three days. He had to change that ratio so he started filing the rifling down in the barrel with an old nail file lent to him by Mata Hari who lived down the pass with George Hari her uncle. Night after night he filed until his fingers bled. Night after night he .......
  2. turboplanner
    ......Order of Service at the Bungarra scratching World Championships. It was at one of these that OT's animal, which he had trained all year ........... Of Course it has Fixed-it-up (sic) [It's something that goes with Cappy. On the Khyber Firing Line, Turbo had to go night after night being penetrated by huge mosqitos because Cappy was drinking the Mosqito Lotion, but hey, what's a friend for.
  3. turboplanner
    The Wagin Up, Margaret River Up, Wagin Up Nd Buga Up Communties who........
  4. turboplanner
    Hot, but very prickly and not very attractive in that Bob the Builder fluoro, but she tries not to interfere with Turbo's constant work keeping 253,876 public servants happy which usually means doing the rounds each day patting them on the head and saying "You've all done very well". He had tried doing it on zoom from the Coast, but the camera was never at he best angle, the sound always cut out and the image from the public servant was usually blurred. In one case, since he was passing by, Turbo decided to check in with one and found the camera on the deck pointed at a photo of the PS on a box on the chair. It was only when he threatened to fire the PSers and go AI that there was an effort to lift their game and get a quote before building a new road to Dan's farm. PS. Cappy will have to stand in line since within the family the Vette is more popular than Turbo even though it's constantly wearing out rear tyres.
  5. turboplanner
    ....unrealistic in the wake of Cappy's statement that there were no tickets anymore, an emboldened OT shot out with "Where are you going to get tickets, Turbo", and cross his arms. "At the footy!" said Turbo dismissively and OT ....................
  6. turboplanner
    Turbo apologises for his abrupt absence but he has been working 18 hours a day on a submission to the Victorian Government to save Turbine Central Mining which was just about to receive a Planning Permit to start blast mining under Ballarat for gold, when the Premier stepped in and had the Department of Mining's Permit replaced by an FOO, an overlay where you couldn't do anything unless the government wanted you to. Turbo had sent in the submission and one of her Advisors (supplied by Turbine Political Advisors) had told the Minister for Development she didn't think it was right that the Minster for Mining had called the Premier a moll just as the Premier was about to sign the FOO. The phone rang, the Premier flew into a rage and left yelling "AM I NOW!" and the advisor was able to quickly add "except for blast mining", the Premier came back and said "Now where was I?" saw the document, signed it, and so Turbo is back on deck.
  7. turboplanner
    Had been attending Suntan Clinic twice a day and learning the First Nations language which these days required a lot of “deadly” and “bro” sounds and “mobs” and now said “We abolished tickets years ago and......
  8. turboplanner
    Yes relatively rare, but it fits in with the ATSB perameter of return on investment. The State Police investigate RA fatalities and produce confidential reports to the Coroners and sometimes the Coroner Reports are educational in terms of learning how to avoid a repeat. RAA investigates/takes reports from the minor accidents, and we would gain a lot more safety knowledge if RAA upgraded their investigations.
  9. turboplanner
    Good point. It's easy to set your own datums then weigh (dry) the empty aircraft, and using WD equations add each mass and get a result equal to any tolerance you set. Problem is if you don'tr have a correct performance envelope supplied by the manufacturer for the aircraft - you're in the dark and wasting your time.
  10. turboplanner
    Yes they do. You can check back through the ATSB files and see for yourself. They just select a few they want to investigate.
  11. turboplanner
    ............file for Cook, Capt. James VIII missing ............
  12. turboplanner
    .......ended by requiring a 75 page English essay with a pass requirement of 102% before obtaining a student licence, with a nest of FoI's around Australia to make sure there were no tell tale accents. Sanjay had somehow failed to read the first paragraph ......................
  13. turboplanner
    Pilot's Lounge filled with students all playing on "Airbus" the new fastest way to become an Airline Pilot. "Instructor No. 17 you will please do me the honour sir of taking up Instructor No. 28 and transferring him to the student aircraft or Rhuni Sahib will never get down." This may seem an odd thing to say and very unlike the CASA of the old days, but it was taught in the flavour of Astronaut transfers and everyone in the school wanted a chance to do it. There were a few misses, but you'll get that in any activity or even.......
  14. turboplanner
    ........calmly speak on his hand held to the Pilot. This was not easy because the student was a TempVisa from SubContinent Flying school. "Ooh the sun he is shining but I'm not so happy" was his answer to Turbo's "Close the throttle!". "Ooh I am now seeing it and pushing the round part" was the reply , but ................
  15. turboplanner
    .......if someone gives you Shxx you give them ............. Turbo appreciates the concern of NES readers but it all started as he was entering the Exhibition with a cup of steaming coffee. He'd invited Cappy to come with him to see the Turbine Defence's new AI Eagle UAV Attack Drone which could think for itself, and pick up weapons from the ground, like rocks, if it was out of ammo, and yell taunts if the ground was just grass or sand, and come back if called. Cappy, who wasn't in a suit, just his calf-length shorts couldn't help himself and loudly yelled "THAT LOOKS LIKE ACID!" Fifteen cops shot him with rubber bullets, Gas Cannistered him, Tazed him, belted him and he was bitten by a Police Dog. He didn't tell you all that side of it did he. It was Turbo that had to get HIM out of it.
  16. turboplanner
    ....females. Mavis, at the Bowen RSL had seen to that. He had treated her with the utmost respect even, when desperate for food after a long day's work he'd be waiting for an hours as gossiped with the washing up ladies who knew every sin committed or alleged to have been committed in the district. bull had an ever so slight limp, a product of his service to Australia in Afghanistan (he'd tripped over on a rock going to the Khazi as the locals called it. Mavis would greet hm with "How's the hunchback of Notre Dame tonight? bull......
  17. turboplanner
    .....show her what a greenie should be. SHY Was crying because of the kelp bites. “My mum told me I got bitten by a Kelp when I was a baby” she said. ”You’re still a xxxxxxx baby” bull told her. bull didn’t have a. .....
  18. turboplanner
    ....exploded as Cray Captains do when they spot a Greenie. This lot were in his path in a 4 metre dinghy and they were about to hit rough sailing. They'd started out as Greenies always do with the best intentions but ther mistake was listening to scientists, who as we know are the modern incarnation of mermaids. They'd chained themselves to endangerd kelp, only to realise they couldn't breathe, so like all greenie protests, the even had to be cancelledand wet, tired cold and breathless they were on their way home when their worst nightmare, a giant Cray Boat bore down on them....................................
  19. turboplanner
    .......gown flying his Drifter. He could afford to do that now. He’d read about forum members using Drifters for cattle mustering (or saying they did), so he started “wave running” - looking for feeding crabs all gathered round a catch. He’d then call the trawler in and they’ d throw the net over the lot of them and then.....
  20. turboplanner
    ...........apparel, and this has led to a lot of dissatisfaction with QANTAS from the Nouveau Riche and some entitled AUF posters, who have been vacating Business Class and buying tickets for the Great Unwashed section. They have been replaced by young sales reps getting free upgrades for Business Class. The young sales reps of course pretend there isn't an odour problem, thinking the smell has been left by the Nouveau Riche and AUF. This lowered the Qantas ticket income and it wasn't uncommon to hear senior executives muttering the old saying of Reg Ansett's "They can sit on the XXXXXXX wing then! Back in Economy Turbo and Cappy, on their frequent business trips, told jokes and Cappy did his renditions of English ditties and marching songs with his wonderful skill of being able to break wind for 40 minutes in two octaves. There were plenty of "EAU!!!s", and "Doo we KNOW hims?" from the posers from BC, but the young sales reps had loved them so Qantas Marketing gave Cappy and Turbo free upgrades to Business Class, Charged an extra 20% to the young sales reps with 4 drawn out of the hat each flight going up to First Class, where of course there were no stinking crays, and Qantas had won against all odds again. However there was one person ..................
  21. turboplanner
    It’s no longer an incorporated association with a committee of management. There’s a divide now. People voted for that, so the Company manages itself.
  22. turboplanner
    .........obtain a dozen or two more licences than they reallly should not have had. Not many people know that crayfish are the backbone of Qantas. When an order is received from a Chinese for just one cray, the price is so high, it pays for a quarter of a Cray Boat, and the deceased cray travels to China businss class on Qantas (which also is why you don't see many people in business class). The reason they won't upgrade you of course is not because they think you're lower class, but they know there will be complaints about the smell, so like many industries, they cop it for the sake of the easy income, and .....
  23. turboplanner
    .....“Cop this you, you Queensland..............(thinking - he was a West Australian) Wog!” Captain bull picked up the boat hook and was about to disembowel (gut) Marky when he realised he needed the WA icon. Just then a Doof doofised version of the Love Story theme came from the cray boat’s 16 speaker hi fi and they settled down to winching in the cray pots. Eventually Marky........
  24. turboplanner
    .....had hit the Mark perfectly. "This place (Perth) gives me the SXXXX" Marky replied as if this was something Perth needed to take action on. Not many people know that Marky is a secret hand-picked candidate at the next AUF elections, and an Avid Flyer Mark IV flyer.(When Premier he said the builder could have a free factory in Perth itself if Marky's name was included in the aircraft's name. Just another little Turbo snippet from history. and the aircraft remains one of the greats to this day. bull, with that innate Trawler and now Cray Boat Captain skill of summing up people as they slide down the deck in rough seas knew that this Captain Marky woud be a keeper, even though he kept referring to front and back and left and right and "Where's me ..............................................."
  25. turboplanner
    The bolts could shoot several places but below your head; I haven't posted any angle for the top straps because there was conflicting evidence but anchor points straight back from the top of your shoulders are a starting with one source recommending a maximum of 20 degrees down from the shoulders. Anything below the shoulder is moving towards crushing shoulder bones downward and anything above the shoulder is allowing you to move up from the ideal restraint. Similarly there's an optimum downward angle for the cross belt so it keeps your hips pulled tightly into the backrest/squab. the anti-submarine belt also has an optimum position. Never just pull your shoulder belts down; I used to do that until one of the guys came down hard from about 4 metres head first. He had tightened his shoulder belts so the shoulders took the first impact, then the weight of his lower body and upper legs crushed his spine and he became a paraplegic and to add insult to injury the looser waist belt movement castrated him. I mentioned the various opinions so I'd recommend consulting an expert if you're going from scratch.
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