.......foredeck of the new Titanic.
"These are the days!" said Hiram C. Cook , who owned a string of Scottish hotels (and string was about all you got for breakfast)
"Livin' the dream!" replied Sir Charles Turbine, who was still kicking himself for not inventing the telephone, but he just had to go to the races to see his horse win on the day before Alexander Graham Bell made that immortal broadcast "Who's calling?"
They struck up a conversation, and found they'd both fought in the Crimea.
Then they found they'd both been Members of the Light Brigade, Hiram a Brigadier in brilliant red suit and gleaming brass, Charlie a Private in drab brown dress and brown "Turbine" family tartan kilt.
Sir Charles remembered Hiram giving that fateful order "Forward the Light Brigade, charge for the guns"
Charles had thought it was a stupid thing to do with the Russians entrenched with cannons all pointing into the valley.
Then into the valley of death rode the 600, cannon to the left of them, cannon to the right of them, cannon in front of them, and cannon pivoting around behind them volleyed and thundered. (Not many people know that with the cannon pointing at each other 3500 Russian soldiers died that day)
Boldly they rode and well.
Into the jaws of Death, into the mouth of hell rode the six hundred.
The Brigadier was taking heavy fire and realised it was his red coat; just as he took it off he was hit in the shoulder by cannon fire, luckily a clean wound with the shot going right through. As Charlie rode past he leaned down and snatched what he thought was a fellow soldier, and rode to the end of the valley. In this position they were trapped, but the bridadier was a forward thinker and had bought Serial No 000002 of the Wright Flyer [avref]production from his mate Wilbur, and parked it at the end of the valley just in case. They had to use a can of Start Ya Bastard on it but were soon fluttering over the hill to safety 73 feet away.
Sir Charles said to Hiram "Weather doesn't look too good; hope we don't hit an Iceberg!"
Hiram .......