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turboplanner

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Everything posted by turboplanner

  1. turboplanner
    Good point. It's easy to set your own datums then weigh (dry) the empty aircraft, and using WD equations add each mass and get a result equal to any tolerance you set. Problem is if you don'tr have a correct performance envelope supplied by the manufacturer for the aircraft - you're in the dark and wasting your time.
  2. turboplanner
    Yes they do. You can check back through the ATSB files and see for yourself. They just select a few they want to investigate.
  3. turboplanner
    ............file for Cook, Capt. James VIII missing ............
  4. turboplanner
    .......ended by requiring a 75 page English essay with a pass requirement of 102% before obtaining a student licence, with a nest of FoI's around Australia to make sure there were no tell tale accents. Sanjay had somehow failed to read the first paragraph ......................
  5. turboplanner
    Pilot's Lounge filled with students all playing on "Airbus" the new fastest way to become an Airline Pilot. "Instructor No. 17 you will please do me the honour sir of taking up Instructor No. 28 and transferring him to the student aircraft or Rhuni Sahib will never get down." This may seem an odd thing to say and very unlike the CASA of the old days, but it was taught in the flavour of Astronaut transfers and everyone in the school wanted a chance to do it. There were a few misses, but you'll get that in any activity or even.......
  6. turboplanner
    ........calmly speak on his hand held to the Pilot. This was not easy because the student was a TempVisa from SubContinent Flying school. "Ooh the sun he is shining but I'm not so happy" was his answer to Turbo's "Close the throttle!". "Ooh I am now seeing it and pushing the round part" was the reply , but ................
  7. turboplanner
    .......if someone gives you Shxx you give them ............. Turbo appreciates the concern of NES readers but it all started as he was entering the Exhibition with a cup of steaming coffee. He'd invited Cappy to come with him to see the Turbine Defence's new AI Eagle UAV Attack Drone which could think for itself, and pick up weapons from the ground, like rocks, if it was out of ammo, and yell taunts if the ground was just grass or sand, and come back if called. Cappy, who wasn't in a suit, just his calf-length shorts couldn't help himself and loudly yelled "THAT LOOKS LIKE ACID!" Fifteen cops shot him with rubber bullets, Gas Cannistered him, Tazed him, belted him and he was bitten by a Police Dog. He didn't tell you all that side of it did he. It was Turbo that had to get HIM out of it.
  8. turboplanner
    ....females. Mavis, at the Bowen RSL had seen to that. He had treated her with the utmost respect even, when desperate for food after a long day's work he'd be waiting for an hours as gossiped with the washing up ladies who knew every sin committed or alleged to have been committed in the district. bull had an ever so slight limp, a product of his service to Australia in Afghanistan (he'd tripped over on a rock going to the Khazi as the locals called it. Mavis would greet hm with "How's the hunchback of Notre Dame tonight? bull......
  9. turboplanner
    .....show her what a greenie should be. SHY Was crying because of the kelp bites. “My mum told me I got bitten by a Kelp when I was a baby” she said. ”You’re still a xxxxxxx baby” bull told her. bull didn’t have a. .....
  10. turboplanner
    ....exploded as Cray Captains do when they spot a Greenie. This lot were in his path in a 4 metre dinghy and they were about to hit rough sailing. They'd started out as Greenies always do with the best intentions but ther mistake was listening to scientists, who as we know are the modern incarnation of mermaids. They'd chained themselves to endangerd kelp, only to realise they couldn't breathe, so like all greenie protests, the even had to be cancelledand wet, tired cold and breathless they were on their way home when their worst nightmare, a giant Cray Boat bore down on them....................................
  11. turboplanner
    .......gown flying his Drifter. He could afford to do that now. He’d read about forum members using Drifters for cattle mustering (or saying they did), so he started “wave running” - looking for feeding crabs all gathered round a catch. He’d then call the trawler in and they’ d throw the net over the lot of them and then.....
  12. turboplanner
    ...........apparel, and this has led to a lot of dissatisfaction with QANTAS from the Nouveau Riche and some entitled AUF posters, who have been vacating Business Class and buying tickets for the Great Unwashed section. They have been replaced by young sales reps getting free upgrades for Business Class. The young sales reps of course pretend there isn't an odour problem, thinking the smell has been left by the Nouveau Riche and AUF. This lowered the Qantas ticket income and it wasn't uncommon to hear senior executives muttering the old saying of Reg Ansett's "They can sit on the XXXXXXX wing then! Back in Economy Turbo and Cappy, on their frequent business trips, told jokes and Cappy did his renditions of English ditties and marching songs with his wonderful skill of being able to break wind for 40 minutes in two octaves. There were plenty of "EAU!!!s", and "Doo we KNOW hims?" from the posers from BC, but the young sales reps had loved them so Qantas Marketing gave Cappy and Turbo free upgrades to Business Class, Charged an extra 20% to the young sales reps with 4 drawn out of the hat each flight going up to First Class, where of course there were no stinking crays, and Qantas had won against all odds again. However there was one person ..................
  13. turboplanner
    It’s no longer an incorporated association with a committee of management. There’s a divide now. People voted for that, so the Company manages itself.
  14. turboplanner
    .........obtain a dozen or two more licences than they reallly should not have had. Not many people know that crayfish are the backbone of Qantas. When an order is received from a Chinese for just one cray, the price is so high, it pays for a quarter of a Cray Boat, and the deceased cray travels to China businss class on Qantas (which also is why you don't see many people in business class). The reason they won't upgrade you of course is not because they think you're lower class, but they know there will be complaints about the smell, so like many industries, they cop it for the sake of the easy income, and .....
  15. turboplanner
    .....“Cop this you, you Queensland..............(thinking - he was a West Australian) Wog!” Captain bull picked up the boat hook and was about to disembowel (gut) Marky when he realised he needed the WA icon. Just then a Doof doofised version of the Love Story theme came from the cray boat’s 16 speaker hi fi and they settled down to winching in the cray pots. Eventually Marky........
  16. turboplanner
    .....had hit the Mark perfectly. "This place (Perth) gives me the SXXXX" Marky replied as if this was something Perth needed to take action on. Not many people know that Marky is a secret hand-picked candidate at the next AUF elections, and an Avid Flyer Mark IV flyer.(When Premier he said the builder could have a free factory in Perth itself if Marky's name was included in the aircraft's name. Just another little Turbo snippet from history. and the aircraft remains one of the greats to this day. bull, with that innate Trawler and now Cray Boat Captain skill of summing up people as they slide down the deck in rough seas knew that this Captain Marky woud be a keeper, even though he kept referring to front and back and left and right and "Where's me ..............................................."
  17. turboplanner
    The bolts could shoot several places but below your head; I haven't posted any angle for the top straps because there was conflicting evidence but anchor points straight back from the top of your shoulders are a starting with one source recommending a maximum of 20 degrees down from the shoulders. Anything below the shoulder is moving towards crushing shoulder bones downward and anything above the shoulder is allowing you to move up from the ideal restraint. Similarly there's an optimum downward angle for the cross belt so it keeps your hips pulled tightly into the backrest/squab. the anti-submarine belt also has an optimum position. Never just pull your shoulder belts down; I used to do that until one of the guys came down hard from about 4 metres head first. He had tightened his shoulder belts so the shoulders took the first impact, then the weight of his lower body and upper legs crushed his spine and he became a paraplegic and to add insult to injury the looser waist belt movement castrated him. I mentioned the various opinions so I'd recommend consulting an expert if you're going from scratch.
  18. turboplanner
    .......apologise for Turbinia's behaviour and his poor performance as a parent. It brought tears to many loyal NES readers and even emails from President Xi and Ho Chi Minh himself. President XI (a growing friend of Penny Wong) " ，好伙计，我们再次在南沙群岛喝咖啡时，工作做得很好吗？" and Sino-Australian relations moved another step closer to Australian crayfish dudes getting $1,000 per cray. OT had noticed .................
  19. turboplanner
    While that wouldn't be satisfactory for automotive use, automotive is focused (possibly incorrectly) on frontal collisions against immovable objects. An aircraft can hit hard from any direction and there's not much point in having a fail-proof bolt size if the harness bracket is going to shear off the frame or a frame member is going to shear at less than the bolt shear. Maybe an engineer has carefully calculated the 6 mm SS bolt on the basis of brain damage, maybe there wasn't an engineer involved.
  20. turboplanner
    ........three Airbuses a month finish up in New Zealand instead of Tasmania" The FO said "They're much the same aren't they?" and the Captain ............
  21. turboplanner
    ,,,,,,,,, and Turbo agreed with bull, alyhough he did seem a little dazed and confused, whereas the razer sharp mind of Cappy had been focused on that radio transmission which finished with "plug an exhaust of your Bluehead, and then we'll see how fast you can fly." Knowing Airbus drivers, Cappy and Turbo side-slipped out of the way but was at heart a Queenslander and we know what they're like on the road. "That's not correct radio procedure; get your act together he barked into the mike". When those words came through in the effeminate tone that come from all RA aircraft with their Chinese radios, The Captain twitched his moustache and looked at the suntanned FO who looked down at the dash, searched for a while and pressed the "DOWN" button and then as they zoomed under bull, the "Levelle" bouton, then the "Take off power" button, and bull was going through space like a cigarette button thrown out of the window. bull however was a trawler Captain, a real one, and one of the best and he kept control of the Drifter and he flew done under the trees and let go a Tasmanian XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX xxxxxxxxxx XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX xxxxxxx x XXXXXXXXXXX into the mic. The FO blushed, the ............
  22. turboplanner
    .....the victim's mouth and down his windpipe thus silencing him at the same time. They'd been discussing this on rhe radios as AUF flyers tend to do as they go along when there was a short, sharp, transmission from Sydney Centre .......................................
  23. turboplanner
    .........down because Turbine Resources Inc were also supplying rougher staff, Cappy and OT types to work for ASIO and we all know that ASIO used the carrot method on dissidents. Harold Holt disappeared not because he drowned but because he was carroted then thrown into the surf and a long line of politicians who didn't perform or disagreed with Bob Menzies were carroted. ASIO had carroted politicians and crime figures in the US too. Why do you think they never found Jimmt Hoffa? He'd been carroted then cremated. So they patted bull on the shoulder, grabbed three Thrusters and flew off through the mountains where ...........
  24. turboplanner
    .......emojis (which would leave some people destitute). A cunning plan was hatched to .........................
  25. turboplanner
    Turbo has forgotten who TDOTC are NTTIAWWT. "Do we know them? Are they our friends or their enemies, he said winding some duct tape around 28 sticks of gelignite." ..... be hitting up OT any time now for some Cat Grousers to .................
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