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turboplanner

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  1. turboplanner
    ...........apparel, and this has led to a lot of dissatisfaction with QANTAS from the Nouveau Riche and some entitled AUF posters, who have been vacating Business Class and buying tickets for the Great Unwashed section. They have been replaced by young sales reps getting free upgrades for Business Class. The young sales reps of course pretend there isn't an odour problem, thinking the smell has been left by the Nouveau Riche and AUF. This lowered the Qantas ticket income and it wasn't uncommon to hear senior executives muttering the old saying of Reg Ansett's "They can sit on the XXXXXXX wing then! Back in Economy Turbo and Cappy, on their frequent business trips, told jokes and Cappy did his renditions of English ditties and marching songs with his wonderful skill of being able to break wind for 40 minutes in two octaves. There were plenty of "EAU!!!s", and "Doo we KNOW hims?" from the posers from BC, but the young sales reps had loved them so Qantas Marketing gave Cappy and Turbo free upgrades to Business Class, Charged an extra 20% to the young sales reps with 4 drawn out of the hat each flight going up to First Class, where of course there were no stinking crays, and Qantas had won against all odds again. However there was one person ..................
  2. turboplanner
    It’s no longer an incorporated association with a committee of management. There’s a divide now. People voted for that, so the Company manages itself.
  3. turboplanner
    .........obtain a dozen or two more licences than they reallly should not have had. Not many people know that crayfish are the backbone of Qantas. When an order is received from a Chinese for just one cray, the price is so high, it pays for a quarter of a Cray Boat, and the deceased cray travels to China businss class on Qantas (which also is why you don't see many people in business class). The reason they won't upgrade you of course is not because they think you're lower class, but they know there will be complaints about the smell, so like many industries, they cop it for the sake of the easy income, and .....
  4. turboplanner
    .....“Cop this you, you Queensland..............(thinking - he was a West Australian) Wog!” Captain bull picked up the boat hook and was about to disembowel (gut) Marky when he realised he needed the WA icon. Just then a Doof doofised version of the Love Story theme came from the cray boat’s 16 speaker hi fi and they settled down to winching in the cray pots. Eventually Marky........
  5. turboplanner
    .....had hit the Mark perfectly. "This place (Perth) gives me the SXXXX" Marky replied as if this was something Perth needed to take action on. Not many people know that Marky is a secret hand-picked candidate at the next AUF elections, and an Avid Flyer Mark IV flyer.(When Premier he said the builder could have a free factory in Perth itself if Marky's name was included in the aircraft's name. Just another little Turbo snippet from history. and the aircraft remains one of the greats to this day. bull, with that innate Trawler and now Cray Boat Captain skill of summing up people as they slide down the deck in rough seas knew that this Captain Marky woud be a keeper, even though he kept referring to front and back and left and right and "Where's me ..............................................."
  6. turboplanner
    The bolts could shoot several places but below your head; I haven't posted any angle for the top straps because there was conflicting evidence but anchor points straight back from the top of your shoulders are a starting with one source recommending a maximum of 20 degrees down from the shoulders. Anything below the shoulder is moving towards crushing shoulder bones downward and anything above the shoulder is allowing you to move up from the ideal restraint. Similarly there's an optimum downward angle for the cross belt so it keeps your hips pulled tightly into the backrest/squab. the anti-submarine belt also has an optimum position. Never just pull your shoulder belts down; I used to do that until one of the guys came down hard from about 4 metres head first. He had tightened his shoulder belts so the shoulders took the first impact, then the weight of his lower body and upper legs crushed his spine and he became a paraplegic and to add insult to injury the looser waist belt movement castrated him. I mentioned the various opinions so I'd recommend consulting an expert if you're going from scratch.
  7. turboplanner
    .......apologise for Turbinia's behaviour and his poor performance as a parent. It brought tears to many loyal NES readers and even emails from President Xi and Ho Chi Minh himself. President XI (a growing friend of Penny Wong) " ，好伙计，我们再次在南沙群岛喝咖啡时，工作做得很好吗？" and Sino-Australian relations moved another step closer to Australian crayfish dudes getting $1,000 per cray. OT had noticed .................
  8. turboplanner
    While that wouldn't be satisfactory for automotive use, automotive is focused (possibly incorrectly) on frontal collisions against immovable objects. An aircraft can hit hard from any direction and there's not much point in having a fail-proof bolt size if the harness bracket is going to shear off the frame or a frame member is going to shear at less than the bolt shear. Maybe an engineer has carefully calculated the 6 mm SS bolt on the basis of brain damage, maybe there wasn't an engineer involved.
  9. turboplanner
    ........three Airbuses a month finish up in New Zealand instead of Tasmania" The FO said "They're much the same aren't they?" and the Captain ............
  10. turboplanner
    ,,,,,,,,, and Turbo agreed with bull, alyhough he did seem a little dazed and confused, whereas the razer sharp mind of Cappy had been focused on that radio transmission which finished with "plug an exhaust of your Bluehead, and then we'll see how fast you can fly." Knowing Airbus drivers, Cappy and Turbo side-slipped out of the way but was at heart a Queenslander and we know what they're like on the road. "That's not correct radio procedure; get your act together he barked into the mike". When those words came through in the effeminate tone that come from all RA aircraft with their Chinese radios, The Captain twitched his moustache and looked at the suntanned FO who looked down at the dash, searched for a while and pressed the "DOWN" button and then as they zoomed under bull, the "Levelle" bouton, then the "Take off power" button, and bull was going through space like a cigarette button thrown out of the window. bull however was a trawler Captain, a real one, and one of the best and he kept control of the Drifter and he flew done under the trees and let go a Tasmanian XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX xxxxxxxxxx XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX xxxxxxx x XXXXXXXXXXX into the mic. The FO blushed, the ............
  11. turboplanner
    .....the victim's mouth and down his windpipe thus silencing him at the same time. They'd been discussing this on rhe radios as AUF flyers tend to do as they go along when there was a short, sharp, transmission from Sydney Centre .......................................
  12. turboplanner
    .........down because Turbine Resources Inc were also supplying rougher staff, Cappy and OT types to work for ASIO and we all know that ASIO used the carrot method on dissidents. Harold Holt disappeared not because he drowned but because he was carroted then thrown into the surf and a long line of politicians who didn't perform or disagreed with Bob Menzies were carroted. ASIO had carroted politicians and crime figures in the US too. Why do you think they never found Jimmt Hoffa? He'd been carroted then cremated. So they patted bull on the shoulder, grabbed three Thrusters and flew off through the mountains where ...........
  13. turboplanner
    .......emojis (which would leave some people destitute). A cunning plan was hatched to .........................
  14. turboplanner
    Turbo has forgotten who TDOTC are NTTIAWWT. "Do we know them? Are they our friends or their enemies, he said winding some duct tape around 28 sticks of gelignite." ..... be hitting up OT any time now for some Cat Grousers to .................
  15. turboplanner
    .....started training them to hunt. For the first six weeks no one shot anything because they'd all get out of the Drifters etc and fire off a test shot like they'd read about in the stories of Spitfires in WW2. Of course the guns rifles now are way better than the ones Doug Bader was given. Then there was a breakthrough..................
  16. turboplanner
    ....he knew they would stack the cards against him as they had done since he was fourteen when he took on the Highway Patrol and won, only to be caught by the old town cop when he had nipped in for a Maccas. He instead went for something most people wouldn't have thought of ................
  17. turboplanner
    .......Stud bulls with their Ghoolies dragging on the ground and.......
  18. turboplanner
    .......the time in the tint town of Ghooli, seven mile out the road from Southern Cross when that notorious drunk Wendal Ghooli, who was a boundary rider with a difference, he rode a camel, ran amok at the pub. Constable Jeremy Doubtfire was the local cop who pulled his trousers on, flicked he braces, hauled on the heavy uniform coat and headed for town on his horse, Cecil. He tied Cecil up at the rail outside the pub, cocked the hammer on his Colt, marched in through the front door and without any ado shot off one of Wendal's .................................................
  19. turboplanner
    Blocked fuel lines, fuel turned off, someone hung a handbag on the Mixture control, if you have a look on ATSB over the years a lot go down, usually without injuries or too much damage, most find a golf course and are trucked back to the airport. I nearly had one by turning the fuel off. The previous student hadn't turned it off and I got in and just turned the lever 1/4 on the quadrant; luckily we were still taxying when the engine quit.
  20. turboplanner
    ...a warning by the bikies and an offence by the Tasmanian Police, but since they were only armed with truncheons and Gerbil was known to fell a 300 foot Tasmanian Blue Gum in eight minutes with his axe, the TP were always focused on a lost dog or murder or something when the trash talking started around the Abscisa Aurem. On this occasion Constable OneStripe, on exchange from somewhere called WA, showed up and ........................
  21. turboplanner
    ".......any more a that and I'll show yer me teef!" (pointing to the axe which was scabbarded like a cowboy's) The comment had come from a cyclist who road his bike into town each day. He had more dents than a Kombi, and cyclists were hated by both pedestrians and car drivers, so had attitude and gave Gerbil the finger. In a fraction of second there was the brush of a scabbard a SSSSWISH and a thud at the axe embedded itself and one ear in a power pole (Stobie Pole in SA) Gerbil smoothly did a U turn and another and grabbed the axe from the pole. The ear would stay there for two years until an athletic cat got it one night. The corner would be named ........................
  22. turboplanner
    ...members of the aristocratic gentry who had been nicking pieces of bread from London Restaurants. Moorabbin of course is not on the coast which shows you just what amazing fish these Bass are. In fact they rival Carp. One time when Turbo had flow the family up to Cooper Creek near the Dig Tree and they were camped by the fire that night when a huge carp jumped out of the water and grabbed the dog by the hind leg. The family grabbed the other end and there was a tug of war with the dog starting off aa pck of Dingoes howling in sympathy. The dingoes didn't stop howling all through the night. That's how vicious carp can be. The Mongols, who had joined the Moorabbin latte set were sitting on the footpath drinking their coffee when a group of Moorabbin Molls rode up and started menacing the axemen. They decided they better get patched asap and "Bruce" did a spectacular design on a serviette. When they went to collect the patches the design read "Mongrels".Since none of them could read they just sewed them on and a new and feared bikie group started rollling through the streets of Melbourne ..........
  23. turboplanner
    .....escaped together to paradise, or at least Bicheno. From there they crossed ..........................
  24. turboplanner
    ....the South African veldte of doing exactly that to charging elephants and in fact this is where the US saying "bringing your eggs home in the trunk" originated. Bull (not bull) whose idling Harley had just started to indicate the failing tappet problem where the engine disintegrates at the most opportune moments (like when the cops were on your tail) became uncertain and giving the old Harley a lungfull of gas, turned and charged down the hill through the Tasmanian Blue Gums bowling over little Devil pups, squashing Koalas, ripping the tails off Lyre Birds, and even breaking the leg of a Thylacine mother sucking her young under the deep fern canopy which was wrecked by the ugly American attempt to compete with Vincent. Eventually there was an enormous clang and the axement knew for Bull it was "free wheel or never come out". They lit a fire and all ................................ Turbo, whose Gratax (Grammar and Syntax Analyser) never lets him down, can confirm that Cappy posts as five people here and also manages to infiltrate the script writing in all the Clint Eastwood movies, which has kept Clint going well into his 90s even though he can't always eat his breakfast by himself.
  25. turboplanner
    ......just then Cappy came round the corner in his pink Honda with the stereo blaring. Quicklysizing up the situation he casually pulled out his Holland and Holland from it's cowboy sheath, and loaded a couple of SGs and aimed at Bull's (not bull's) most prized possessions. SGs are used extensively in the sheepdog industry as "trainers"; not pay8ing attention to commands quickly leads to a whiff of SGs under the tail and he turns inside out and has not further part to play in the sheep industry. Cappy lowered the H&H slightly and .....................
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