turboplanner
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Everything posted by turboplanner
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..........changed in appearance, now looking like 16 yos, and two of them were beginning to move as they thawed out, and then ..........
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.......basket. Not many people know that the British Army, fighting in the Khyber Pass bought 500 war service US Army Jeeps because (a) the US hadn't been able to sell them, even at US$50.00 because everyone was buying Toyota Land Cruisers and (b) because the Khybers would sneak through the lines at night and steal any Land Rover starter motors because there were no spare parts. The Jeeps, unlike today's SUVs which don't even have Low Range because no one knows how to use it anyway, could go anywhere. Once on a weekend furlough from the fighting a Gurkha invited Cappy home. The Jeep climbed up into the mountains and through bogs effortlessly. After dropping off the Gurkha at his home they decided to continue up the mountains. There were Bengal tigers drinking from mountain streams unworried by the Jeep's presence, Dak Runners everywhere delivering the mail a letter at a time. The view kept getting better and better and eventually they reached the top of a mountain. "Someone's been here recently" shouted Cappy. Carved in the summit were the names "Ed Hillary" and "Tensing Norgay". After a quick meal of Energy Chocolate, they started driving back down. Brakes were not the strong point of the Willys Jeep and ............
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.......look that up in the Oxford English Dictionary because most poms come from the Caribbean these days and don't eat .........
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Get about a metre of 1/2" plastic tube; put one end up to your ear and poke the other end around the likely sources. This will localise the sound pick-up from surrounding noise, and you should be able to identify the exact area.
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.....still wounded by the Chinese propaganda vilifying them for actions in Manchuria in 1930 when their grandfathers simply went across to China to take photos with the new Nikons which changed the world and led to those all night slide shows which usually led to Grandpa dropping the slide box or spraying the wall to kill a persistent fly leaving it looking like a forensics scene for years. The scrambled TJDF squadron heard Turbo shouting "TORA!" "TORA!" "TORA" (he'd got that from a movie) and the pilots went berserk; eyes squinting and thoughts only for the Emperor (who was watching a Los Angeles Dodgers ball game). They ripped into .......
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....saw the Emprass Mahjongg coming towards him slowly.........and then he was woken by Turbo whispering "We have to get out of here now! They're going to behead you at dawn". Turbo had risked his life by flying a Drifter in under the trees right up to the bottom of the Great Wall. Turbo knew the guards went home at dusk because really, who's going to steal it overnight. He expertly got the Ninja uniform over Cappy who was naked and ugly to the point of attracting attention from the Chinese. The Drifter made it under the trees and zoomed off into the gloom, but Chinese radar picked them up off the coast. It was now a race between Chinese fighter aircraft and the Turbine Japan Defence Force (TJDF) which had been scrambled from Sendai, but thanks to the Chinese pilots being slow to get out of bed ................
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.......sounded much better than the A Flat he usually played juts to get attention, but the problem was whether to use it at the beginning to set the tone of the song or use it at the end as emphasis. He was thinking about this when he heard the sound of heavy footsteps which sounded like military men .............
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....fortune. It happened almost immedately when Cappy blurted out his price just as a What's App came in from Turbo. Chairman Xi was holding his phone up and it caught Cappy's face and words. Turbo didn't show that he'd seen and heard Cappy's treachery, just said to Chairman XI, are you up for a tiger shoot in Bengal Saturday; I'm bringing the Challenger over. (Turbo always let Chairman Xi have a fly) Xi quickly accepted and Turbo smoothly said "I've managed to get a better price on those machine guns from another manufacturer, and quoted a figure ten cents under Cappy" As we know that's not always going to change someone's mind if there's been a handshake, but Turbo's master stroke was to say "Have you seen that Captain Cook scoundrel; the guns he sold to North Korea keep jamming and he's needed down there to explain himself ......if he can." That did the trick and Ki said XXXX off! to Cappy, who was lucky to get through the gates of the Palace. A hundred metres down the road a Chinese Secret Police car...............
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.......classified as Chinese, but of course there were some members of AUF who were, Like Mr Magoo, a few hours late in the Greenwich Meantime world. Cappy raced for the bathrooms but in has haste dropped his Panda shorts in the floor slot. He was frowned upon by several old men squatting and grunting and while quickly pulling his red shorts out of his pocket caught a compact gin bottle and it flicked straight towards the nearest old man who caught it and held it up, with a delighted grin to his mates. Cappy left that room with the code identifying him as a genuine Chinese of Mongol Ancestry (M. Polo 1210 - 1264) He strode confidently back into the meeting room and Chairman Xi welcomed him with open arms. "Should I buy these machine guns from Turbine Firearms, and Cappy the Nouveau Chink that he was said "No, I can supply cheaper". XI looked him straight in the eye and said "How much" Nes readers will know that Cappy never quite understood the skills required for marketing and at that cricial moment Cappy froze, much like his ancestor had done on Waikiki beach..........................
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.....pandas and looked like she might be interested despite the threat of being beheaded by six terra cotta warriors, but just then OT walked in and .....
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...but Cappy broke in and said " that's BS, Chairman, we in the west know it's made of rocks and sand." Xi beamed; this man was not a fool (although it has to be said you can't be sure in just a few sentences) and he said "What I really want to do is knock out some of these Satellites which are spying on us every day as we go about our lawful business. Cappy .................
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......a most auspicious coming together of moons and this came to the notice of Chairman Xi who called Cappy in for a chat. Cappy's brassy mood (as shown by the self-promoting effort above) froze momentarily, but when he was ushered in Chairman Xi said "Cappy, I'm not interested in your usual XXXXXXX stories; my question is can we fit a machine gun to the front of your lunar module?" Cappy said "Yes, but why would you want to do that Chairman?" Xi said "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but ..............."
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...embarrassment in the Bombay Club that a descendant of Captain Cook should be a mere calque! "The last calque around here was taken out and fed to a Bengal Tiger, what!" said Sir William Orpington-Smythe who was prone to spreading gossip about others in the Club. Cappy ......................
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......balance....and we all know the importance of weight and balance. So cunning Cappy started offering Weight and Balance courses by a very experienced aviator who had beaten fearsome odds in places like the Ucayali tributary of the Amazon River where he had to fly under the trees with monkeys dropping on him now and again, Guinea Bisseau, The Khyber Pass and Kapooka. His tag line was "We can really shift your weight around!" As time went on there were rumours and ........................
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....those who had practised Upsets and basic Aerobatics all survived. it was a lesson to all there that...........
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......the latest at the Double Bay Latte shops." Soon there were trails of little old US ladies trying to drive down the RH lanes of those narrow Sydney streets, and ...
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......at times feels like jumping off Kahekili's Leap but in recent years as soon as Turbo lands one lot of old boilers throws Leis and other things around his neck at the airport, screaming "DO THAT WAIMEA BAY ELVIS SCENE TURBO!" and a dozen or so head out to the Leap hoping to catch Turbo as he ...........................
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....start the very popular "Find the hidden Door" competition. In the beginning this involved a passenger being given a small hammer, but some of the fat Americans hit so hard that .......
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....booked his next flight to Bali, where he doesn't bother lying on the beach, but spends the time flying from island to island in a Garuda Boeing 737-800Ng, which they bought cheap by saying "Don't worry about the upgrades." It was on one of these flights that he met ............
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....winners along with the "Champagne on tap system to each seat". People have been heard lately saying, these are flights to die for, or ...................
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....Gina Rhinehart. Turbo had become nostalgic. As a little boy he had been taken to the Mangalor Airshows where it wasn't unusual to see 50 Ultralights take off in the first 50 metres of the cross strip and fly down it at six feet and 15 wide, banking on to the main strip (leaving a couple in the paddock beyond). He was there that day when Pierre Airbus visited the Show. Not many people know that the conventional control yoke in RPT aircraft was a problem. Airline pilots with fat legs had to retire early because they couldn't achieve steep rates of bank. Pierre was excited to see these Australian Ultralights in action, and was offered a fly. Scott Winton, unaware that Pierre, a brilliant Design Engineer, had never actually flown an aircraft, gave him one of his new Jackaroo Side Stick Control aircraft. "Mon Dieu!" Pierre exclaimed on landing (and not because he had soloed on his first flight), "theese solve the probleem of fat legs, nes ce pas?" and from that time on Airbus aircraft have always had Side Stick Control. For this great invention he sent Scott a selection of French Cheeses and .............
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......(and we are talking about the Bull now) was enjoying the beautiful flying characteristics of this ancient (going back to the days of Mangalore) machine. You may find yourself flying one wing down in a jackaroo, or skidding slighty as you flew your chosen heading, but that was nothing compared to its climbing ability, or perfect landings in any weather. Turbo had flown one up the Gibb River Road and was only limited by the fact that there were no service stations or .... Winton Jackaroo lined up on its runway. Source: Aeromedia/David C Eyre https://aeropedia.com.au/content/winton-jackaroo/
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....alone, Bull was not alone, Bull was not alone. As anyone who has flown a jackaroo would know, they are b.............................
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......started walking down the road. It was a young steer and still clearly remembered the last time it was rounded up and what happened there, so it was putting as much distance as it could from the scene in case they took something else this time. Waygu cattle are Japanese, so he was very polite as he walked along.in the town he greeted many people, gaining instant supporters. He came to a school crossing and obediently crossed with the children. "Ohayōgozaimasu, yoi kodomo-tachi, watashinonamaeha nobushidesu, gakkō ni kite mo īdesu ka?" he greeted them, and they all gave him their names and invited him into the school. Meanwhile the Police, Stock Inspectors from several districts and the local Dog Management Ute were combing the district to shoot or catch this dangerous steer/get him to the meatworks. The word had got around town and these people encountered severe hostility from the townspeople who knew he as safe in the school, and would be lucky if he wasn't being put to bed or tied to a tree and fed mud pies. It was all going well until the steer proke down and started crying; "they cit off my ..................
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It seems that Turbo has overpowered Cappy with his smooth flowing inviting prose, even though, as a fellow Badge of Honour to Cappy for oustanding gallantry and services to India, had not intended to intimidate the good Captain who clearly has writer's block. All the great authors have this problem; and Turbo will defend his dear fellow medalist against the many snide comments Turbo has heard. Perhaps a visit to the Wagga Wagga Abattoirs would help where there's a laugh a minute from boners trying to scare people by wearing a bull's [not our bull] head still dripping with blood, or crawling around in a sheep skin, or juggling boning knives - life is never dull in a meatworks.
