Captain

... the mainstream media's distortions about ......

..... sent Qi's missus a stern yet tasteful message that commenced "G'day honey. If you will get Ping to back off a bit, I would be willing to again do those special things that you like. Love Cappy" This worked and the Chinese immediately started to dismantle the Spratleys and sacked everyone in their Navy. When he heard of this and saw the effects of Cappy's work, the Crapster received another call. "Howdie Crappy if I may be so familiar, it's Don here, do you have time now for a chat or should I call back when it suits you better ........ or I could fly over in AF1 and land at Y-KKA where we can have a good chinwag, and you can give me some pointers." "No wuckers Don" replied Cappy, who is never difficult to get on with, and they then had a delightful, encrypted discussion that covered ......

...... "All of those images were generated by the cheap & cheerful "Turdbine AI" based in Bangladesh using a secondhand laptop, so all of the animals have 5 legs, and even Turbo himself has 3 1/2 legs + an oversized lump in his Safari Suit ...... while all the time Turbo himself was lying on his motheaten couch in Moorabbin with cans of VB strewn all around, and a rotten .....

..... , and their oil, out as a NHS medical breakthrough, necessary because the Rolling Stones were due to tour again, and all of their fans were preparing to clap, or to catch it at after-parties all over OZ. Chiko roll oil, or CRO as the knockoff was named & mandated in Uganda by Pfizer, was indeed a ..... "Mandated" requires that every male be injected with CRO in the date.

.... a feeling of deja-vu, because something like this had happened before when he had .....

..... the great Turbine WtC scandal, where Cappy and Turbs, who have both been certified as 1.5% aboriginal (due to indiscretional dalliances by their great, great, grandfathers), performed what would become a very seminal Welcome TC at the Rockhampton Show ("seminal" in this case means strongly influencing later developments, ..... not as it relates to the donation of semen). Both were wearing lap laps and stomping + jumping, imitating the rainbow wombat, when, during a critical part of the ceremony, their private bits feel out the side and dangled there, glinting in the lights of the showground, while ..... Some critics have called this a coordinated costume malfunction, but it was purely accidental and based on the weight of their junk, and the diagonal strength of the material in the lap lap.

..... but that integral with each sale was a written commitment from the purchaser to support Nuclear Energy, and to be 100% in favour of the Green New Deal that was proposed by Charlie Green, which involved building cheek by joule, new 10 storey blocks of waterfront home units & tunnels on all NZ rivers and inlets, then selling them to Palestinian immigrants fresh out of Gaza. The Gazans loved Fluff, & Charlie, as did the Israeli hostages that each family brought with them, so NZ set the standard for immigrant housing & integration, by issuing ......

..... it was explained that the "fluff" in the BTT Fluff NZ company name was not methane related, but instead referred to the soft and downy sensation that is provided by .....

..... Te Wiki claimed that his grandfather had been the original Mauri and had been given permission by the gods to kill all of the Moa, to use their feathers to stuff palliasses which would be utilised for any ladies that he found to lay upon. Donald still had lots of Moa feathers in storage in a warehouse in Gizzbourne and he had approached .....

..... Whakatane, where the airstrip (avref) can be ......

..... very unusual practice of Kiwis rubbishing Aussies and the Skippies doing likewise. This led to the NZ Prime Minister mimicking bowling under-arm every time he (or she) came to Canberra, and the Aussie PM walking everywhere in OZ & NZ with a large toy fluffy sheep named Brenda, sewn onto the front of his dacks. But the jokes stopped when ......

..... has been wheelbarrowed for 700 m down a bumpy grass strip. The answers to the straightening question sucked in a large number of stewed-ants who were anxious to learn what the technique should be to counter wheelbarrowing, and they did not accept bull's response of "get a tail wheel, ya mugs" too well. But it was ......

.... therefore undertook a complete reevaluation of Jabiru engines for use below 150 hp, but those favoring water cooling and gearboxes still whined on, and on, and on, like their engines, about the merits of .......

.... substantive and relevant qualifications that will provide the necessary oompf (a definitive university technical term which is also an avref that describes the power of a 916iS Rotax) to enable .......

.... decided to take the contrary approach and .....