Captain

..... mistaken for a Ulysses Club member, which means that you will need to carry a walking stick and a thermos of tea (& very likely coincidentally be a junior member of the AUF) ............ and you'll have the living crap beaten out of you by the 1%ers when you ride through a WA town on the way to your AGM when wearing your Club patch. It was Turbine Translations that altered the Sanskrit wording from "WE LOVE AND AM SKIPPIES, COO-EE" TO "F*** U AUSSIES", and TT thought that this was a huge ...... This is the patch that the 1%er club in WA found so threatening.

...... that very day that the Gazans and the other 27 Muslim sects decided to fully assimilate, except that they told Cappy to stick his pink Suzuki. Mahommet said "These Aussies are as crazy as we are, so let's be brothers, then get me a Tooheys and a bacon McOz." It was at that very moment, dear readers, that all racial tensions eased throughout Australia, with added potential for peace in the Middle East, and all due to the sterling efforts of Ambassador/Emissary bull .............. however there was another small problem brewing when Mahommet said "Just call me Mo", but then announced that their 3 new bike clubs would be called the "Hells Prophets" the "Hamas Jokers" and the "Bandaged-Didos". The boys patched up using lots of green background with white backwards writing, and were about to ......

.... one of them pointed out that riding a Shovel Head Harley is more dangerous than wearing an explosive vest, and each of those devices can inflict severe testicular damage on a .......

..and always one to have regard for racial sensitivities, he specified that the How-to-Votes must be halal certified, which cost the Libs an additional $50,000 for a thousand cards.

..... from whence Cappy broadcast the Muslim call to prayer, except that it also included a call to vote for Malcy, which brought out 3 blokes wearing explosive vests, intent on ......

A rugged and unshaven Turbo, taking out the garbage outside Chez Turdy in Moorabbin. And here during his younger days, about when Crappy and he first became best mates. This was just after he was awarded the Freedom of Moorabbin, as can be seen, pinned on his left one.

..... leading the company song of "Get a hot cat down ya", to the tune of Waltzing Matilda, and this became so ingrained in the Aussie psychy, that all the new Gazzans thought that it was the national anthem, particularly the verse which mentions that "Our hot cats are girt by sea ................... and a bun". OT's profile rose even further after being on every billboard in Oz, and appearing each week on the new Countdown, hosted by Turdy Meldrum, where ......

...... our WA mate just laughed a brave laugh, thrust his large farmer's hands, with their podgy fat fingers, into his RMW moleskins, and stared Don down. "If you try that, we will put a charge on all of the radio transmissions in and out of North West Cape and in/out of Kojarena, plus we will not allow any of our women to do the horizontal hula with any American servicemen (or women (NTTIAWWT))" said OT with a confident swagger. "Geez" said Don to JD "This bloke knows his stuff and I have been aware for a long time that OT wrote "The Deal of the Art" well before I thought of changing it around a bit, so OT is not a bloke to mess around with ..... plus it's a lot harder to vaporize him from a drone, when all that WA iron ore messes up the compass and stuff, not to mention the constant sand and dust storms that get into the engines, so I'd better ......

..... Anthony Albacore or is his name Anthony Abalone or something? Anyway, please let OT in, as he has more credibility than "Handsome Boy" (as Penny and the Chinese describe him). Now OT, please tell me more about your Country ................ and then tell me about Australia too, which I understand relies on, and lives off, the hard work of your WA countrymen, ....... and also do tell me about that little scrappy bit of land hanging off the bottom below Melbourne." OT, who has always been a supporter of little Tony A, even back when Tony was a pimply left-wing activist, painted a glowing picture to Don of a land of hope, sand, ochre, mint, gold, factory 2nds CAT spares, and .....

.... as we will use a flame thrower instead of a poxy eucalypt smoking ceremony ...... but I guess they will be smoking in the end. OT thought that there were a lot more WA traditions that he could introduce to the US via Don's Executive Orders, so OT made a list, checked it twice, and ......

In fact, Onesie had his own suite in Trump Tower, NY, and it was OT's astute political acumen that convinced Don to run in 2016. ..... "secure" files, and Mallania's undies. Over a couple of Maccas hamburgers in the dining hall, Don asked "Hey Onesie, old mate, the CIA have advised me in today's Security Briefing that some dude named Josia Onetrack was one of the Batavia mutineers and he ate someone. So was he put ashore to breed up with the locals, and is that why you have such a great suntan, in order to ......

.... which made Alaine's previous purchases of Turbine Alternative Currency's (TAC's) "TurdCoin" look a bit shabby. But when Don announced that the US Treasury would be keeping all of the Mexican cartel's ill-gotten TurdCoin in Fort Knox, TAC experienced a demand that ..... TurdCoin looks similar to this, but with a T ............. and more brown.

Just look at that picture again. bull has those same "come-to-bed" eyes, too.

While the above painting of Frank makes him look a bit regal, on the other hand, Harry was just a swashbuckling pisspot. But his facial features, broad shoulders and 6-pack are the spit of bull's.

.... that, plus some old press statements, was the basis for proving OT's involvement in minting. As a result of a short Court case (not Margaret Court, who is pretty tall), OT has been proven to be the beneficial owner of the Perth Mint, plus, through a family trust he also operates the Perth Mint Farm where he grows Mentha Arvensis, after he lost the plant rights case to further disguise his ownership by trying to name the genus "Mentha Goldoon-de-Onesis. The minting of the 1337 Goldoon in East Perth was a shock to Sir Francis Drake and Captain Morgan (Frank and Harry could have just sailed up the Swan River without firing a shot ..... [but they hadn't been born yet]) and was therefore an interesting time in WA history, when ...... Frank Drake was really peed-off when he found out that the Sand Monkeys had been minting coins for the Spanish, and Goldoons no less.