Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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....... tumbled to the fact that Cappy is a craven ......
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.... "Elites" of the flying (avref) caper, and the Pubic Servants within CASA and the NTSB. Then the "Elites" became confused, as while Crappy was just a hard-working pleb so they could ignore him, Turdy was a card-carrying member of the Elite class, but they also looked down their noses at him when he used the joys and glories of flight (avref) to simply enjoy himself ("Elites" don't do such things). Although dark clouds (avref) were on the horizon, artificial or otherwise (avref), and what had become known as "The Turbo War Wound Incident" (the TWWI) became an added problem for Turbo's credibility when an astute ABC reporter (note the contronyms ... sic) filed a story about the use of AK47s in the Khyber Pass conflict of 1880 when Turbs was there, under the heading "Just what Khyber was Turbo Up?". His prized 7.62 projectile thence became more famous than the one that turned in 6 different directions after plugging JFK, and the demands on Turbo became ...... A forensic review of the very projectile that Turbo carries around to make his claims of his wounding and maiming. Please note that there are FA riffling marks. (It's always the coverup that causes the downfall, as Turbo's mate Dan well knows).
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..... interweb and Turbo went viral (This does not refer to that rash, nor to his bad breath). Some may not know that Turbo always carries a 7.62 projectile around with him, claiming that this is the bullet that wounded him. After all, a war wound is a much better earner than is a mozzie bite when he had a hole in his insect net. It was however, bull that pointed out that Turbo's projectile contained no rifling marks, and when that fact hit the papers there was .......
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All NESers please note how Turdy got the concrete pad wrong at lower left, and as a result the main wheels are parked on tarmac and not concrete (duurrrr). What a dill. He must have had his hand on it at the time and fantasising about getting a large Gulfy to balance up that side of the house. Turdy & Crappy often get paralytic around that fire pit in the back yard, then take the 707 for a spin (avref) around Melbournistan without clearance, and using bull's callsign & rego numbers from the Jackoff.
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For those new members of Wreck Frying, for Stewed Ants and for our thousands of subscribers to the NES, it is my great privilege to inform you that Turbo does not only look like Johnny T, he also had a passionate affair (which he has never forgotten) with Sandy from Grease, and Turbs wealth has subsequently allowed him to make a copy of the Travolta Flying (avref) Ranch. The below photo shows Turbo's joint as part of a seniors living facility just outside Moorabbin (some of the oldies, and the local council, do winge a bit about the aircraft noise) and as you can see, this photo was snapped during the last drought. (Photo taken by Cappy as he was mid-field crosswind in his Gulfstream).
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..... 70s Disco Dancing, ....... when Turbs was only a little beyond his prime and he was the Model for John Travolta's Tony Monero character in SaTurday Night Fever (note the highlighted word, which was the genesis of Turbo's current nickname). Travolta later reprieved an older Turbo character, Vini Vega, were his dance with Uma showed that the Turbo's twitches and convulsions had been largely brought under control by a combination of legal and illegal medications. However, Turdy's limp persisted, as caused by ........ John portrayed Turdy to a tee, when in his later 50's. John, taking off Turbo, making the secret sign of the Rotax Bluehead Fanclub (a perverted Boy Scouts sideways "Be prepared" .......................... for a cold or hot seize).
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.... , using the rear leg behind the ear scratching technique, however after spending so much time training, OT's animal had gravel rash on its .....
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And those "mosquitos" were bigger than normal mosquitoes, hence serious damage could be caused while being penetrative. Hence Turbo's many quirks and aversions.
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..... are just normal, somewhat sad & under-achieving WA country folk, so they often stuff-up the ...... The Capster apologises, once again, as in his own sad and under-achieving manner, he messed-up his original response by reusing Turbo's Buga-Up/bugger-up line. I hope that the above change has Fixed-it-up.
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..... are just normal, somewhat sad & under-achieving WA country folk, so they often bugger-up the ......
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.... fill the stadium. Wise men from the East still have trouble with the WA language that is used for word-of-mouth, as while the WA lingo is similar to pig latin, easterners still find it hard when they hear "Will-up you-up be-up going-up to-up the-up sword-up, firearm-up and-up explosives-up tournament-up ?-up. "-up. But in WA these tournaments are run by ......
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Crappy is delighted to hear Tubb's story because, as usual he appears to be one of the few people who can get anything done in Vicmanistan (Many think that it might be because of his long-standing physical relationship with the Premier, but it was quickly pointed out that such a relationship was with the last Premier, not the current one, although Turbo agrees that this one is certainly "HOT"). PS - Crappy is maintaining the dibs on the 'Vette, as you never know what is around the corner.
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..... now that tickets, which are a symbol of white male oppression (Eg "Turbo has tickets on himself"), are no longer available, we need to concentrate on the thousands of benefits that accrue from the linking of the Free Palestine and the Aboriginal flags, after all it is well known that the Palestinians have been around for 250,000 years (just consider Yasser Arafat who looked like he had done it tough for each one of those years) and the Palestinians are certainly big on Smoking Ceremonies (just look at Gazza each night on the news, for the evidence). "Hang on there Turdy" said bull and OT in unison from opposite sides of the country, who thought that TurdBoy was being overly ........
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DEAR NESers ...... Has anyone heard from my best mate Turbo, who has been AWOL and unheard of on the NES for the past 5 days. I haven't been too worried until now, as he often used to go missing for several days up the Khyber, but was always located exhausted and needing a skin graft, in Village number 23B, with the delightful and captivating Villager # 29. But unless he is now off exploring the delights of the lady villagers at Darraweit Guim, I am a little worried. Regards Crappy PS - Please note that I have already called dibs on the 'Vette, if the worst should come to the worst.
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...... that whoever did actually discover OZ, be that Captain Cook (known as Jimmy-the-Chef to his mates) or Hot-Lips Turbine, received a "Welcome to Country" every time they went assure to use the bathroom? And if they did not act with appropriate cultural sensitivity to respect the previous 249,800 years (being 250,000 minus 200) .... or if they turned their backs on a "Smoking Ceremony", should legal action be taken, or the entire Turdbine Clan simply just put to the sword (or Nulla Nulla)?" Turdy had already been briefed on possible adversarial questions and this was, obviously one of them, so he ......
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..... had turned left instead of right when he sailed out of the Thames and had therefore gone the long way from London to Portsmouth. Hotlips and his crew were therefore the first group to choose to holiday in Tasmania (the highlights being Burnie and Bell Bay), Melbourne, Wollongong, Newcastle and in Queensland as part the same cruise itinerary. It is understood that, as a result, they found the cruise to be both depressing & very disappointing, although their reviews on TripAdvisor have been scrubbed by ......
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..... as it has now been proven that he did not actually discover our Great Southern Land (the GSL), but instead bypassed it and took a shortcut through the Panama Creek, so that he could claim expenses for the Botany Bay to Cooktown sector, using faked receipts. He also couldn't locate Venus when in the South Pacific, and instead recorded the transit of the moon, which was easier to find. "Those dicks in the Greenwich Observatory will never tumble to it" he is recorded to have said to little Matty Flinders). As is mentioned on the pewter plate now housed in the Moorabbin Natural History Museum, Australia was actually discovered by Captain Horatio (Hot-Lips) Turbine who was, at that time, lost on his trip from London to Portsmouth, and who .....
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..... the ladies cheered once they realised what a human dynamo prize had just arrived into their laps (somewhat literally ..... or that was his intent). OT's eyes popped when he saw the smorgasbord that met his aircraft (avref), and even though he had just put 140 hours of non-stop flight (another avref) onto his engine (rotaxref) [OT is a brilliant engineer, and had designed, manufactured and fitted his own design of fuel bladder, plus also his own bladder bladder], and while Onesie was tired, he was not too tired to .........
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Dear bull. The photo is a little fuzzy, but I think that may be OT wearing his "Welcome to WA" yellow hat, as he has been there now for a few hours and may have been making a pig of himself.
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.... that Turdo & his outstanding capacity + endurance be cloned, like Dolly the sheep, but we want about 20 of them so that we will be certain to be .......
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And there, dear readers, is one of the great and amazing things about the Wreck Frying website and Forums (Fora), and noting bull's loyalty to Onesie, it is clear that we all stick together and provide support for each other, no matter what.
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...... Prince Andrew, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and 20 others as mentioned in the Epstein Island flight (avref) logs. "Those 23 will provide the same copulatory capacity and enthusiasm as one Turbo" Turbo explained to the "attention" seeking lady, as he .......
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However, OT is already 5 hours into his flight (avref) heading over here, in the hope of getting some of the action.
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Dear Red. Welcome to the NES. Are you perhaps related to those 3 blokes in the top photo in bull's post a few above, and does your 2nd name start with an I?
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Sorry Red. Both bull and Turbo are notoriously uncoordinated. ..... Panama, where Cappy is located at the moment. Cappy, ever the supporter of sex starved female native populations around the world, did his best to ...... A photo from the Panamanian jungle. That is not Cappy, nor is it on of the SS'd ladies.
