Captain

..... deflect this by having Barry Obama say "bull's prawns are safe and effective" and then by bull feeding his prawns Bovear to stop their methane production? The methane, pre expulsion, makes them float to the surface so that the Chinese can vacuum them into .....

...... the fact that bull's prawns have the biggest sh/t chute ever known to man, such that each one needs to be deveined using a chainsaw. The reason for the .....

Side Comment - It is a sad fact about Wreck Frying, and an even sadder reflection on our white Caucasian privileged skippy background, that we all tend to think that those behind the Forum names are white Skippy blokes that we would like to meet for a beer down the Rissole. Well Turbo has obviously assumed & fallen for this about Onesie, who alluded to the following in a recent post, and whose real name is Tuấn Minh Trang Phương Nguyễn. This is why he remembers the Mekong leaches so well and is why he looked exactly like the bloke that shot may mate, & forward scout, Jimmy .... before J was Dusted Off. Tuan came to Aussie on a leaky refugee boat and landed in NW WA, then gravitated initially to Perth to open a French Bread Shop (yeah sure, it really was French), then changed his name initially to Won Tlack, which became onetrack as he achieved "a full blown Michael Jackson" and bleached himself white, then went 100% Skippy, even to the extent of becoming a good old Aussie Rascal (after quitting from being the boss of the Vietnamese gang that controls Freo) and going on to run his great CAT Spares Scam. I am proud to call OT a mate, but I never take my dog when I go to visit him, as he makes a great Bun Bo Hue.

.... then noticed Turbo's whisky marketing master stroke, as Tubb always includes 2 Mekong leaches in every bottle of his whisky, gin and other assorted hooch. At the sight of the leaches looking out of the bottle at him, with their vicious little mouth parts seeking his succulent pink flesh, OT convulsed then commenced to bleed from several remnant leech sores that had started to heal in 1989 but had not quite finished, so OT .....

..... he calmed down enough to undertake a search on Google Maps for the nearest Turbine Screen & 3 D Printing Establishment. OT, ever a man interested in the latest technology, felt that 3D Printing is the future and he was keen to see if Turbine 3D, the most advanced and price competitive in the world, can print using HT Steel and ESCO or Hardox wear surfaces. The bloke at the Turbine 3D joint considered OT, standing there before him, and said ".....

.... Kurdaitcha slippers and his proven favorite bone, made from a sliver of either the jawbone of an ass or the arsebone of a jew, Cappy can never remember which, and OT headed for ...

...., but somewhat better maintained by the proud local "Community of the Five Holy Streams", than the road between Ewlyamartup and Tambellup which is the bra strap testing capital of the world (Turbine Hestia Inc have a technical office in the region), and which has been identified by the Chiropractic division if the World Health Organisation as the road most likely to cause .......

..... lace, to reflect his considerate and soft(ish) side, so the in this way, in what really helped his flying and made him much less ham-fisted, CT achieved a nirvana-like state of ....

..... he was completely worne out, as Mae Wei had worn a blonde wig and did a "complete" May West impersonation, even down to the smallest thing, which wasn't small any more, given the success of the impersonation over many years. However CT .....

..... I can't stand this any more, as these ratbags are getting much more attention than I am, and I used to be the Princess of the Senate (POS). Now I'm just a sideshow". "Dont cry Sahs, as you'll always be a POS to us" replied Lidya, who then .....

.... major incident when somebody on X described Lids as something that Turbs and bulls know quite a lot about .... "A Thai hooker with a beer gut". Maurine and Sarah took offence and displayed their beautiful bodies to best effect, fully clothed of course, and Black Rod became soft when .....

..... therefore there was no chance to stab anyone, Julius Caesar style, although Turbo has always dreamt of seeing Sarah's ample frame in a toga. However Lidia and Jacqui were 2 different kettles of prawns, and that was .....

..... in perfect harmonic harmony, with her left one rotating anti clockwise and her right one in glorious counter balance, with .....

.... so he had to spin it twice as fast to obtain the same thrust, but he thought that the harmonics might be an issue, until his girlfriend gave it her approval and she came .....

Turdy's Morgan Crappy's Morgan

..... a Morgan is a Morgan and all you need to build them into a saleable product is a team of carpenters and a warranty policy that puts all liability onto the customer. Dave had been a chippy in his early days so he ......

..... heads off a couple of thousand cats and fed them to the Uyghurs that make the Apple phones. I thought that Turbo would get the message after 4 or 5 cats were terminated, but it took 2000 to get through to him. Anyway, me and Turdboy are now best mates and are cooperating for the glorious friendship of our 2 great nations, well ....... ours anyway". Just at that moment OT's call waiting went off. "Sorry Xi, gotta go, as Stokesy is on the line. See ya" He pushed a button and said "G'day Kezza, how are they hanging?" "G'day Onesie" said Kerry "What's this I hear about you importing CAT gear from China and undermining my exclusive CAT pricing structure?" OT backpedaled like an Italian tank driver and in no time flat had negotiated to sell all his plastic CAT spares to Kerry for half Stokesy's normal selling price, so OT made a motza and Kezza had a bit of a warranty, wear and durability issue for a while. Then Kerry changed the subject "Hey Onesie, you know how I funded Ben Roberts-Smith VC's defense? Well, I like supporting Aussie heroes and I hear that your mates, Turdy and Crappy, have been dumped in it by an ABC's 3 Corners Report that they were a bit over enthusiastic while up the Khyber, plus CT has also overused rule 222 to tear into the DG bunny population and had pushed a few dozen of them ..... with their paws bound ..... into one of the 5 sacred rivers in order to teach 'em a lesson, in what has become known as the great "Bunny-Lemming Scandal", so let those Skippy Heroes know that I ........ The above is a work of fiction and no despots, dictators, millionaires, billionaires or animals were harmed in the making of this post.

..... but then the truth came out, because in the height of passion, CT had whispered to his girlfriend #3 (CT is a bit of a goer, as well as a complete CT) that his real aim was to use the D7 and the WA sourced rippers to secretly enlarge the Arrivals & Departure holes at DG International. "I thought that he was referring to mine" she said to the DG office of the ABC, before CT .....

..... a big bloke with what was obviously a bad attitude. "Could this be bull or is it that CT, of might it even be Planey?" Cappy slurped into his cornflakes and spoke to Tubb through the side of his mouth, showering Turdy with milk and shards of cereal, so that he looked like an elf in a snow-globe. "I'm look'n for some bloke (or Blokette if'n it might be a shiela) who is known around these parts as the "Singular Root", because I want to buy 3 rippers for a D7, then a .......

.... had to move my many years of accumulating invaluable items to a new location. That required such dedication that I almost withdrew from life, and even from the NES, before I woke up to myself, missed my regular contact with close mates like bull & Turdy, and I came back like Lazarus, stronger than ever, even though I am still .....

..... Confucius (referring to Kong Qui, and not the other imposter bloke) says that he thinks that you have the irits, Onesie, so what has put a burr under your kimono?" OT ignored the improper reference to Japanese dress and responded "Too right Crappy, it all started when I ......

.... Do you mean digital, like that 1 finger salute that my subjects give me so lovingly, or do you mean numbers and stuff? In addition, if you need funding under a UN program, we can arrange a few $ million each year if you can just use the term "Renewable Energy Superpower" all the time. "No wuckers" replied Turdy, as if there is one thing that gives Turbo an ......

..... a lack of acceptance of new ideas and a type of digitital blindness to ......

..... indulging in a crook vindaloo, and that .....

Thus, the normal VOR navigation system became known as the VGBR and the ILS was renamed the GBLS as height on final could readily be determined by the relative size of the gin bottles ..... and when you could clearly read "Bombay Saphire" on the bottles, it was time to flare. Therefore, the entire navigation and landing procedures became much more simple and GPS's were stripped from every aircraft in order to accommodate a slab of Tonic Water and some ice. ..... little hairy bit that sticks out of most mosuls ....... well ....., it turns out that Cappy had eaten so many mosuls over his considerable lifetime that he had evolved (Darwin's great granddaughter has become physically involved with him while studying Cappy, just like Charlie had studied the evolution of the finches on Galapagos) with an identical but larger hairy bit sticking out of Cappy's ....... (Cappy acknowledges that this post may be a trifle erky perky to some of our more delicate NESers, however science and evolution should never be subverted). THE HAIRY BIT THAT IS THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST.