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Captain

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Everything posted by Captain

  1. ..... then realised that they already had 3 of them in bull's 1st photo, so Turdy ......
  2. Sanjay's magpie inside his tepee, after its wing feathers grew back, and they were ready to be re-plucked.
  3. ..... disturbing lineage information that he was actually a Cherokee on his mum's side and Chippawa on his dad's. "Oh, crikey" said Sanjay wearing his improvised headdress made from the feathers of his tame (now bald) magpie "This must be why I get a HORN every now and again that is often LITTLE but becomes BIG at times". Sanjay considered how to still include the best of Indian (dot, not feather) beurocracy within CASA, while at the same time increasing their power to take the scalps from errant LAMEs. This sure got the attention of the LAMEs Association, but was a bit of an issue .....
  4. ....... but his Essay contained 53 "beauty bottlers", more than 30 "Coo-ees", several "china plates", numerous references to Darraweit Guim & their Progress Association, and even more tellingly, now that Turbine Industries are a bigger Aussie icon than BHP, there were heaps of grovelling references to the various Turbine Corporations and an admiring, if not perverted, description of Turbinia. All of the above meant that Sanjay was designated as a .....
  5. ..... a couple (perhaps a few) consecutive losses are still acceptable provided they are not industry leaders or Forum/NES luminaries. However, the Minister for Aviation (avref) became a bit concerned after lunch & 2 bottles of red one day, when he had his wobbly boots on, and a question were asked of the Gubbermint in Parlment, which highlighted the .......
  6. ..... Sky, Dougie Bader style. But Turbo is a cool operator, once you scrape off all that surface rust, and he remembered his prize-winning joke accent from his days up the Khyber that Peter Sellers had borrowed for his moving pictures, so he activated his PTT and said "Excuse me sir, but oh my goodness, so could you please be flying straight and level for the sake of Shiva and our ancestors?" (Readers will note Turbo's calm demeanor and the fact that he was so focused that he did not have the time to include the essential [avrefs]). The stewed-ant replied, "Oh crikey, you are correct kind sir, and I have levelled off at cruising throttle and at a safe altitude, praise be to the multi-headed elephant god." Turbo de-blanched, recovered his composure, then walked to the ...... The Elephant God as referenced by the Stewed-Ant. With the rise of the Indian economy and the increased spending power of many of their citizens, Turbine Idollic Statues PLC has been established in Ranchi, to make such structures. (Just like Alfred Hitchcock used to make cameo appearances in his films, the nipples as depicted on each statue are dead spits of Turbo's own).
  7. ..... selected a large tub with crushed nuts and caramel sauce, while the Dervishes preferred ....
  8. ...... spins & zoomies, before sitting down on the footpath and licking his .....
  9. Cappy in his long shorts, on his way to meet Turbs at the exhibition. Cappy after the VicPol GS bit him on the arse.
  10. ...... who is even keeled and well balanced by a chip on both shoulders, just took it in his stride (although his stride is certainly a little wonky because of his hunch) ..... as he thought he might have a chance with Mavis later that night and didn't want to bugger it up by the short-term satisfaction of a smartarse sarcastic response (bull had learnt from Turbo to subvert his true feelings if there was even a slight chance later). However, then bull also remembered OT's primary mantra that ....... The NES appreciates Turbo's latest contribution seeing as he was just released from Pentridge, after it was discovered that TC&AS (Turbine Caustic and Acidacious Substances NL) were the source of the attacks at the Melbourne protest, after Turdy donated a couple of gallons of acid to the Free Palestine Coalition. "What's the worst that could happen?" he said at the time, as he handed over the pannikin of fuming acid.
  11. ..... heart, or a conscience, when it came to ......
  12. Explanatory Note: The use of the term "skid-mark" in the above note does not refer to what Turbo does in the 'Vette each Friday night while cruising Lygon St. It refers to the Greenies that bull so despises, in the context of bull believing that the Greenies are a "skid-mark" on the underpants of Aussie society.
  13. ..... and swamped their kayaks that were made from hemp, coke bottles and used nappies. It was bull's cray boat, so ever the professional skipper, and despite it being against his very nature, bull stopped the boat and picked up the soaked "skid-mark" of Greenies. (A "skid-mark" being the correct and appropriate collective noun for a group of feral Greenies). "Give them a feed Marky" said bull, who had Marky Mark rostered on as his 2nd mate for this trip (many people think that bull does not have any mates, but the normal on-board Cray Boat hierarchy has solved that). Then bull continued "They can kip in the galley, but if Sarah H-Y is one of them, take her to my cabin, tell her to have a tub, and I'll be there soon to .....
  14. Side explanatory Note .... bull being by far the most attractive of the 4 present NES contributors, and the same even when CT is in da house. It is undeniable that our bull has a mystical yet earthy mix of Qld and Tazzy animal & crustaceanal magnetism about him.
  15. ...... a "Lady" again, unless I am wearing my makeup and that little taffeta number, with full accessories, that I like so much." The old bloke (Cappy and Turboref) was shocked at being cane-less (who would ever break a blind bloke's white cane? Well bull would, as reported by OT), but he was also a bit keen to witness (he would have to feel his way ... NTTIAWWT) bull all kitted out in taffeta, with gloves, high heels and a handbag, so he whispered to bull ".......
  16. ..... gentleman, who was blind, came up to captain bull, tapped bull with his cane and said "Good day ladies". Our bull, not wishing to cause embarrassment, went ......
  17. .... the other reason that upgrades no longer happen is that the upgraded plebs (ordinary.economyclass.folkref ..... like Cappy and Planey) will, in their upgraded enraptured excitement, often sit in the wrong seats and therefore trap the bona fide business class crayfish within the crack in their .......
  18. ..... realized that he loved the swashbuckling cray fisherman's life, he respected Captain bull (our bull, not the other Bull), Marky M soon had a lover in every port, same like bull does (and some WERE the same .... which is called being sharing and caring in the maritime lexicon) and M'yM used his outstanding previous political skills (well, "outstanding" in the tiny cesspool that is WA politics) to ......
  19. ...... latte, me Cray Industry equivalent of a Gumment pension, and me own Personal Assistant?" bull, who also wanted a Personal Assistant to clean out his pipes during lonely nights at sea, replied ".......
  20. ..... the phone to call the General Manager of his Cray Fishing Operation (CFO [avref]), Marky Mark, who Onesie had been able to pick up on the cheap from Centrelink. "Hey Marky, old mate, how are they hang'n?" Onesie always liked to bond with his staff by talking down at their level, and he ....... Marky and his kiss-curl, plus his bored 1000 yard stare that working with OT often engenders.
  21. ..... Turbo, who has never been known to apologise or regret anything in his life (which has been of considerable duration), decided that he needed to .....
  22. .... strike her in that special vulnerable spot on the side of her temple (I am told that you could clearly hear the bones shattering) where David pinged Goliath (ref 1 Samuel 17) with his rock. Turbinia went down like a .........
  23. AN ASIDE TO DEAR BULL .... Let it go mate. OT has massive power, not only within the NES but on the entire Wreck Frying site ...... as I have discovered several times to my cost. Plus, and in addition, WA people can be vicious when slighted. Let it go, it is just not worth the cost, and while not wishing to be specific, have you noticed recently how OT has got rid of both CT and Planey.
  24. ..... (not OUR beloved Captain) responded that "Yes, they are fairly similar, except that one used to be run by a horse headed cocaine sniffer and the other has a Senator that is more like the other end of the horse." He then continued on by saying "Listen mon Premiere Officer, just remember that as flight crew provided by Airbus, we are supplied by the European equivalent of the TSAPS group, which is run by Turbinia, who had been sent to Europe after that terribly embarrasing indiscretion in Canberra, and who is now having a torid affair with the head of the European Union and also with the wife of the boss of France (Turbinia has shown that she must be AC/DC/BC/FC/GC and every other C .... NTTIAWWT) ...... so as well as being kept pretty busy, Turbinia also has to ..........
  25. ..... Captain became slightly aroused, and the FO then said "I know that we are over the South Island, but even here, is a XXXX like him aloud to say on the radio, for all to hear, that we XXXX our grandmothers and that ......
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