Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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The above post by OT is extremely prescient, as (1) I have heard Planey refer to Turbo as a homo-something or other, and (2) I am aware that Turdy has been selling photos, drawings and technical components to Elon in order for him to copy Turdy's basic architecture for Elon’s Optimus Robots, below being typical, which is eerily similar to my best mate in shape & texture.
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..... Mars, well before Elon’s gets there. "The big advantage that our rocket has" explained Pol "Is that we don't give a rats whether the astronauts (We call them DLRs [Disposable Lab Rats]) make it back, although little Mark O had a pang of conscience until we took him around behind the shelter shed at Cowra primary school for an attitude adjustment session, after which he saw the merits of our proposal." However the young Japanese engineer posed a harder .....
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Dear NESers. It is perhaps unsurprising that mention of a homicidal, genocidal, exterminatal, maniac herein, with blood ties to Turbo, has brought these 873 pages to an erky perky halt. However in an attempt to justify the previous posts: Below is a photo of Pol flying his sightseeing aircraft. And below is a plot of his favourite route to sightsee and to get a $200 Nom Banh Chok (There are no Mackas on that route, so no MackOz for Pol).
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Here is a sympathetic photo of Pol Pot von Braun. Cappy has just completed a 6 hour genealogical investigation and as can be seen from his hairline and his defective jaw, there is also Turbine family blood in there, from his mum's side.
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....... when Kevin Kostner said "Hey Vern, drop that calculating malarkey and allow this black girl to work it out for you". Hence they hit the moon 1st shot and Dolph sent Vern a coded message from Argentina, asking why he didn't hire that Aftican American lass as part of Dolph's "Blow up the Pommies with Rockets" program in '44, when it really mattered. Vern 's Cambodian connection had not hitherto been exposed, until Pol Pot von Braun wrote an editorial in the Cambodian Daily Mail saying that he reckoned that the Nazis were pussies and he could do a much better job at ......
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..... the moon, after all, how hard can it be? But when NASA stipulated "No Warheads,.............. just astronauts", Vern became......
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.... downtown London, however the floridian Germans were still using Enigma for their messaging, as WhatsApp was still a few years away, and with Benedict Cumberbatch's solution to the enigma codes, the poms were able to ......
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..... although Vern is recorded to have provided an explanation to Dolph that said, in German, that the performance of the V1 was akin to premature ejaculation, and could therefore be cured by lots of practice and a lack of good looking partners (and that, dear readers, is where Ukraine came to the fore as a member of the axis). The result was the V2 and Vern never looked back, although he did become synonymous with .......
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..... boxes and boxes of gold plated pendants of tiny V2 rockets, each with a certificate of authenticity authorized personally by Werner von Braun and Adolph Hitler (signed from Dolph & Vern). He quickly realized that these might be valuable collector's items, except perhaps in Israel, and he soon had them ..... Here is the obverse of one of the sample pendants. The heart is at the centre of the " Love from Dolph & Vern" engraving, as done personally by each of them..
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..... write equations on the chook raffle notice board when he was having a few beers down at the pub, and schpeaking with a German/Jewish accent. "E=mc squared, so show us your c" because Al's/bull's new pick-up line, and he would then ......
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..... Stephen Hawking's books appear to be ...... It has long been known, and discussed in detail on the Dark NES, that bull may be the Stephen Hawking of aviation (and prawning) ..... in our time. The question must therefore be asked ... "Is that bull or Steve?"
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..... made a mental note to include this exchange with Gabe in his resume ...... and also to embellish it a fair bit in his next book (bull had been watching how Harry's book "Spare" was going and had decided to call his autobiography ".....
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..... "G'day Gabe, old mate, about half of those virgins are blokes in black ninja gear, who haven't had a shower in weeks, so is there any chance that I can give the 72 Virgins a miss, and just avail myself of 1 or 2 experienced older ladies like those from the ......
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.... POOF (NTTIAWWT), he was ....
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..... a black-market Kinder Surprise manufacturing facility. The genuine Kinder Surprise that all kiddies love, are licensed worldwide to the Turbine Confectionary Group, but these in the Bavarian equivalent of Tora Bora, were being made by Turbine Mossad Inc (an unincorporated joint venture), so you can guess what is inside, for packing into Hezbollah and Hamas member's Jihad Lunch Boxes (the very popular JLBs), plus the Iranian leadership had also become addicted to these little chocky treats, so ...... A genuine TCG Kinder Surprise. An early version of 1 of TMI's pineapple & lime flavored Kinder Surprises, back when it needed a little more work to disguise it, particularly up the top end.
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..... 1/3 of them were programmed to hit Tel Aviv and could not be changed (so once fired, Israel declared war in Ukraine & sent Zelinsky a gift of 500 pagers), 1/3 didn’t have engines, propellant or warheads & were marked for "Training Purposes", with those words crossed out using a texta, while the final 1/3 had Nazi insignia and had been discovered by Turbine Deutchland when they ......
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.... asking for trouble (and extortion) because Turbo is also known as "One of Melbournistan's most colorful Racing identities" and is the basis for the Harry Strang character in the Jack Irish series. The reason ..... That's Harry in the centre. Same look, and height, plus the Turbo fake limp from his so-called war wound. (Cappy was providing security when that photo was taken and many people remark on how much he looks like a young Guy Pierce).
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Dear NESers. I have just returned from a visit, as a guest of their government, to commemorate the battles of the Khyber, and snapped the below to give you some indication of what Cappy & his best mate Turbo went through. The gate that honours the spot where Turbo first discovered the delights of the Khyber (NTTIAWWT). The actual Pass, photographed last Thursday. The monument to commemorate the spot where Turbo was shot. As you can see, the monument is in better nick than is Turbo. Locals at the monument giving thanks for Turbo's sacrifice. I didn't have the heart to tell them about the 7.62 rifling controversy and the fact that he may have drawn the wound on himself with an indelible pencil.
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....... tumbled to the fact that Cappy is a craven ......
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.... "Elites" of the flying (avref) caper, and the Pubic Servants within CASA and the NTSB. Then the "Elites" became confused, as while Crappy was just a hard-working pleb so they could ignore him, Turdy was a card-carrying member of the Elite class, but they also looked down their noses at him when he used the joys and glories of flight (avref) to simply enjoy himself ("Elites" don't do such things). Although dark clouds (avref) were on the horizon, artificial or otherwise (avref), and what had become known as "The Turbo War Wound Incident" (the TWWI) became an added problem for Turbo's credibility when an astute ABC reporter (note the contronyms ... sic) filed a story about the use of AK47s in the Khyber Pass conflict of 1880 when Turbs was there, under the heading "Just what Khyber was Turbo Up?". His prized 7.62 projectile thence became more famous than the one that turned in 6 different directions after plugging JFK, and the demands on Turbo became ...... A forensic review of the very projectile that Turbo carries around to make his claims of his wounding and maiming. Please note that there are FA riffling marks. (It's always the coverup that causes the downfall, as Turbo's mate Dan well knows).
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..... interweb and Turbo went viral (This does not refer to that rash, nor to his bad breath). Some may not know that Turbo always carries a 7.62 projectile around with him, claiming that this is the bullet that wounded him. After all, a war wound is a much better earner than is a mozzie bite when he had a hole in his insect net. It was however, bull that pointed out that Turbo's projectile contained no rifling marks, and when that fact hit the papers there was .......
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All NESers please note how Turdy got the concrete pad wrong at lower left, and as a result the main wheels are parked on tarmac and not concrete (duurrrr). What a dill. He must have had his hand on it at the time and fantasising about getting a large Gulfy to balance up that side of the house. Turdy & Crappy often get paralytic around that fire pit in the back yard, then take the 707 for a spin (avref) around Melbournistan without clearance, and using bull's callsign & rego numbers from the Jackoff.
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For those new members of Wreck Frying, for Stewed Ants and for our thousands of subscribers to the NES, it is my great privilege to inform you that Turbo does not only look like Johnny T, he also had a passionate affair (which he has never forgotten) with Sandy from Grease, and Turbs wealth has subsequently allowed him to make a copy of the Travolta Flying (avref) Ranch. The below photo shows Turbo's joint as part of a seniors living facility just outside Moorabbin (some of the oldies, and the local council, do winge a bit about the aircraft noise) and as you can see, this photo was snapped during the last drought. (Photo taken by Cappy as he was mid-field crosswind in his Gulfstream).
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..... 70s Disco Dancing, ....... when Turbs was only a little beyond his prime and he was the Model for John Travolta's Tony Monero character in SaTurday Night Fever (note the highlighted word, which was the genesis of Turbo's current nickname). Travolta later reprieved an older Turbo character, Vini Vega, were his dance with Uma showed that the Turbo's twitches and convulsions had been largely brought under control by a combination of legal and illegal medications. However, Turdy's limp persisted, as caused by ........ John portrayed Turdy to a tee, when in his later 50's. John, taking off Turbo, making the secret sign of the Rotax Bluehead Fanclub (a perverted Boy Scouts sideways "Be prepared" .......................... for a cold or hot seize).
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.... , using the rear leg behind the ear scratching technique, however after spending so much time training, OT's animal had gravel rash on its .....
