Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... as it has now been proven that he did not actually discover our Great Southern Land (the GSL), but instead bypassed it and took a shortcut through the Panama Creek, so that he could claim expenses for the Botany Bay to Cooktown sector, using faked receipts. He also couldn't locate Venus when in the South Pacific, and instead recorded the transit of the moon, which was easier to find. "Those dicks in the Greenwich Observatory will never tumble to it" he is recorded to have said to little Matty Flinders). As is mentioned on the pewter plate now housed in the Moorabbin Natural History Museum, Australia was actually discovered by Captain Horatio (Hot-Lips) Turbine who was, at that time, lost on his trip from London to Portsmouth, and who .....
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..... the ladies cheered once they realised what a human dynamo prize had just arrived into their laps (somewhat literally ..... or that was his intent). OT's eyes popped when he saw the smorgasbord that met his aircraft (avref), and even though he had just put 140 hours of non-stop flight (another avref) onto his engine (rotaxref) [OT is a brilliant engineer, and had designed, manufactured and fitted his own design of fuel bladder, plus also his own bladder bladder], and while Onesie was tired, he was not too tired to .........
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Dear bull. The photo is a little fuzzy, but I think that may be OT wearing his "Welcome to WA" yellow hat, as he has been there now for a few hours and may have been making a pig of himself.
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.... that Turdo & his outstanding capacity + endurance be cloned, like Dolly the sheep, but we want about 20 of them so that we will be certain to be .......
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And there, dear readers, is one of the great and amazing things about the Wreck Frying website and Forums (Fora), and noting bull's loyalty to Onesie, it is clear that we all stick together and provide support for each other, no matter what.
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...... Prince Andrew, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and 20 others as mentioned in the Epstein Island flight (avref) logs. "Those 23 will provide the same copulatory capacity and enthusiasm as one Turbo" Turbo explained to the "attention" seeking lady, as he .......
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However, OT is already 5 hours into his flight (avref) heading over here, in the hope of getting some of the action.
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Dear Red. Welcome to the NES. Are you perhaps related to those 3 blokes in the top photo in bull's post a few above, and does your 2nd name start with an I?
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Sorry Red. Both bull and Turbo are notoriously uncoordinated. ..... Panama, where Cappy is located at the moment. Cappy, ever the supporter of sex starved female native populations around the world, did his best to ...... A photo from the Panamanian jungle. That is not Cappy, nor is it on of the SS'd ladies.
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..... then realised that they already had 3 of them in bull's 1st photo, so Turdy ......
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Sanjay's magpie inside his tepee, after its wing feathers grew back, and they were ready to be re-plucked.
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..... disturbing lineage information that he was actually a Cherokee on his mum's side and Chippawa on his dad's. "Oh, crikey" said Sanjay wearing his improvised headdress made from the feathers of his tame (now bald) magpie "This must be why I get a HORN every now and again that is often LITTLE but becomes BIG at times". Sanjay considered how to still include the best of Indian (dot, not feather) beurocracy within CASA, while at the same time increasing their power to take the scalps from errant LAMEs. This sure got the attention of the LAMEs Association, but was a bit of an issue .....
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....... but his Essay contained 53 "beauty bottlers", more than 30 "Coo-ees", several "china plates", numerous references to Darraweit Guim & their Progress Association, and even more tellingly, now that Turbine Industries are a bigger Aussie icon than BHP, there were heaps of grovelling references to the various Turbine Corporations and an admiring, if not perverted, description of Turbinia. All of the above meant that Sanjay was designated as a .....
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..... a couple (perhaps a few) consecutive losses are still acceptable provided they are not industry leaders or Forum/NES luminaries. However, the Minister for Aviation (avref) became a bit concerned after lunch & 2 bottles of red one day, when he had his wobbly boots on, and a question were asked of the Gubbermint in Parlment, which highlighted the .......
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..... Sky, Dougie Bader style. But Turbo is a cool operator, once you scrape off all that surface rust, and he remembered his prize-winning joke accent from his days up the Khyber that Peter Sellers had borrowed for his moving pictures, so he activated his PTT and said "Excuse me sir, but oh my goodness, so could you please be flying straight and level for the sake of Shiva and our ancestors?" (Readers will note Turbo's calm demeanor and the fact that he was so focused that he did not have the time to include the essential [avrefs]). The stewed-ant replied, "Oh crikey, you are correct kind sir, and I have levelled off at cruising throttle and at a safe altitude, praise be to the multi-headed elephant god." Turbo de-blanched, recovered his composure, then walked to the ...... The Elephant God as referenced by the Stewed-Ant. With the rise of the Indian economy and the increased spending power of many of their citizens, Turbine Idollic Statues PLC has been established in Ranchi, to make such structures. (Just like Alfred Hitchcock used to make cameo appearances in his films, the nipples as depicted on each statue are dead spits of Turbo's own).
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..... selected a large tub with crushed nuts and caramel sauce, while the Dervishes preferred ....
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...... spins & zoomies, before sitting down on the footpath and licking his .....
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Cappy in his long shorts, on his way to meet Turbs at the exhibition. Cappy after the VicPol GS bit him on the arse.
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...... who is even keeled and well balanced by a chip on both shoulders, just took it in his stride (although his stride is certainly a little wonky because of his hunch) ..... as he thought he might have a chance with Mavis later that night and didn't want to bugger it up by the short-term satisfaction of a smartarse sarcastic response (bull had learnt from Turbo to subvert his true feelings if there was even a slight chance later). However, then bull also remembered OT's primary mantra that ....... The NES appreciates Turbo's latest contribution seeing as he was just released from Pentridge, after it was discovered that TC&AS (Turbine Caustic and Acidacious Substances NL) were the source of the attacks at the Melbourne protest, after Turdy donated a couple of gallons of acid to the Free Palestine Coalition. "What's the worst that could happen?" he said at the time, as he handed over the pannikin of fuming acid.
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..... heart, or a conscience, when it came to ......
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Explanatory Note: The use of the term "skid-mark" in the above note does not refer to what Turbo does in the 'Vette each Friday night while cruising Lygon St. It refers to the Greenies that bull so despises, in the context of bull believing that the Greenies are a "skid-mark" on the underpants of Aussie society.
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..... and swamped their kayaks that were made from hemp, coke bottles and used nappies. It was bull's cray boat, so ever the professional skipper, and despite it being against his very nature, bull stopped the boat and picked up the soaked "skid-mark" of Greenies. (A "skid-mark" being the correct and appropriate collective noun for a group of feral Greenies). "Give them a feed Marky" said bull, who had Marky Mark rostered on as his 2nd mate for this trip (many people think that bull does not have any mates, but the normal on-board Cray Boat hierarchy has solved that). Then bull continued "They can kip in the galley, but if Sarah H-Y is one of them, take her to my cabin, tell her to have a tub, and I'll be there soon to .....
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Side explanatory Note .... bull being by far the most attractive of the 4 present NES contributors, and the same even when CT is in da house. It is undeniable that our bull has a mystical yet earthy mix of Qld and Tazzy animal & crustaceanal magnetism about him.
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...... a "Lady" again, unless I am wearing my makeup and that little taffeta number, with full accessories, that I like so much." The old bloke (Cappy and Turboref) was shocked at being cane-less (who would ever break a blind bloke's white cane? Well bull would, as reported by OT), but he was also a bit keen to witness (he would have to feel his way ... NTTIAWWT) bull all kitted out in taffeta, with gloves, high heels and a handbag, so he whispered to bull ".......
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..... gentleman, who was blind, came up to captain bull, tapped bull with his cane and said "Good day ladies". Our bull, not wishing to cause embarrassment, went ......
