Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... are just normal, somewhat sad & under-achieving WA country folk, so they often bugger-up the ......
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.... fill the stadium. Wise men from the East still have trouble with the WA language that is used for word-of-mouth, as while the WA lingo is similar to pig latin, easterners still find it hard when they hear "Will-up you-up be-up going-up to-up the-up sword-up, firearm-up and-up explosives-up tournament-up ?-up. "-up. But in WA these tournaments are run by ......
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Crappy is delighted to hear Tubb's story because, as usual he appears to be one of the few people who can get anything done in Vicmanistan (Many think that it might be because of his long-standing physical relationship with the Premier, but it was quickly pointed out that such a relationship was with the last Premier, not the current one, although Turbo agrees that this one is certainly "HOT"). PS - Crappy is maintaining the dibs on the 'Vette, as you never know what is around the corner.
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..... now that tickets, which are a symbol of white male oppression (Eg "Turbo has tickets on himself"), are no longer available, we need to concentrate on the thousands of benefits that accrue from the linking of the Free Palestine and the Aboriginal flags, after all it is well known that the Palestinians have been around for 250,000 years (just consider Yasser Arafat who looked like he had done it tough for each one of those years) and the Palestinians are certainly big on Smoking Ceremonies (just look at Gazza each night on the news, for the evidence). "Hang on there Turdy" said bull and OT in unison from opposite sides of the country, who thought that TurdBoy was being overly ........
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DEAR NESers ...... Has anyone heard from my best mate Turbo, who has been AWOL and unheard of on the NES for the past 5 days. I haven't been too worried until now, as he often used to go missing for several days up the Khyber, but was always located exhausted and needing a skin graft, in Village number 23B, with the delightful and captivating Villager # 29. But unless he is now off exploring the delights of the lady villagers at Darraweit Guim, I am a little worried. Regards Crappy PS - Please note that I have already called dibs on the 'Vette, if the worst should come to the worst.
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...... that whoever did actually discover OZ, be that Captain Cook (known as Jimmy-the-Chef to his mates) or Hot-Lips Turbine, received a "Welcome to Country" every time they went assure to use the bathroom? And if they did not act with appropriate cultural sensitivity to respect the previous 249,800 years (being 250,000 minus 200) .... or if they turned their backs on a "Smoking Ceremony", should legal action be taken, or the entire Turdbine Clan simply just put to the sword (or Nulla Nulla)?" Turdy had already been briefed on possible adversarial questions and this was, obviously one of them, so he ......
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..... had turned left instead of right when he sailed out of the Thames and had therefore gone the long way from London to Portsmouth. Hotlips and his crew were therefore the first group to choose to holiday in Tasmania (the highlights being Burnie and Bell Bay), Melbourne, Wollongong, Newcastle and in Queensland as part the same cruise itinerary. It is understood that, as a result, they found the cruise to be both depressing & very disappointing, although their reviews on TripAdvisor have been scrubbed by ......
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..... as it has now been proven that he did not actually discover our Great Southern Land (the GSL), but instead bypassed it and took a shortcut through the Panama Creek, so that he could claim expenses for the Botany Bay to Cooktown sector, using faked receipts. He also couldn't locate Venus when in the South Pacific, and instead recorded the transit of the moon, which was easier to find. "Those dicks in the Greenwich Observatory will never tumble to it" he is recorded to have said to little Matty Flinders). As is mentioned on the pewter plate now housed in the Moorabbin Natural History Museum, Australia was actually discovered by Captain Horatio (Hot-Lips) Turbine who was, at that time, lost on his trip from London to Portsmouth, and who .....
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..... the ladies cheered once they realised what a human dynamo prize had just arrived into their laps (somewhat literally ..... or that was his intent). OT's eyes popped when he saw the smorgasbord that met his aircraft (avref), and even though he had just put 140 hours of non-stop flight (another avref) onto his engine (rotaxref) [OT is a brilliant engineer, and had designed, manufactured and fitted his own design of fuel bladder, plus also his own bladder bladder], and while Onesie was tired, he was not too tired to .........
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Dear bull. The photo is a little fuzzy, but I think that may be OT wearing his "Welcome to WA" yellow hat, as he has been there now for a few hours and may have been making a pig of himself.
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.... that Turdo & his outstanding capacity + endurance be cloned, like Dolly the sheep, but we want about 20 of them so that we will be certain to be .......
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And there, dear readers, is one of the great and amazing things about the Wreck Frying website and Forums (Fora), and noting bull's loyalty to Onesie, it is clear that we all stick together and provide support for each other, no matter what.
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...... Prince Andrew, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and 20 others as mentioned in the Epstein Island flight (avref) logs. "Those 23 will provide the same copulatory capacity and enthusiasm as one Turbo" Turbo explained to the "attention" seeking lady, as he .......
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However, OT is already 5 hours into his flight (avref) heading over here, in the hope of getting some of the action.
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Dear Red. Welcome to the NES. Are you perhaps related to those 3 blokes in the top photo in bull's post a few above, and does your 2nd name start with an I?
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Sorry Red. Both bull and Turbo are notoriously uncoordinated. ..... Panama, where Cappy is located at the moment. Cappy, ever the supporter of sex starved female native populations around the world, did his best to ...... A photo from the Panamanian jungle. That is not Cappy, nor is it on of the SS'd ladies.
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..... then realised that they already had 3 of them in bull's 1st photo, so Turdy ......
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Sanjay's magpie inside his tepee, after its wing feathers grew back, and they were ready to be re-plucked.
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..... disturbing lineage information that he was actually a Cherokee on his mum's side and Chippawa on his dad's. "Oh, crikey" said Sanjay wearing his improvised headdress made from the feathers of his tame (now bald) magpie "This must be why I get a HORN every now and again that is often LITTLE but becomes BIG at times". Sanjay considered how to still include the best of Indian (dot, not feather) beurocracy within CASA, while at the same time increasing their power to take the scalps from errant LAMEs. This sure got the attention of the LAMEs Association, but was a bit of an issue .....
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....... but his Essay contained 53 "beauty bottlers", more than 30 "Coo-ees", several "china plates", numerous references to Darraweit Guim & their Progress Association, and even more tellingly, now that Turbine Industries are a bigger Aussie icon than BHP, there were heaps of grovelling references to the various Turbine Corporations and an admiring, if not perverted, description of Turbinia. All of the above meant that Sanjay was designated as a .....
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..... a couple (perhaps a few) consecutive losses are still acceptable provided they are not industry leaders or Forum/NES luminaries. However, the Minister for Aviation (avref) became a bit concerned after lunch & 2 bottles of red one day, when he had his wobbly boots on, and a question were asked of the Gubbermint in Parlment, which highlighted the .......
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..... Sky, Dougie Bader style. But Turbo is a cool operator, once you scrape off all that surface rust, and he remembered his prize-winning joke accent from his days up the Khyber that Peter Sellers had borrowed for his moving pictures, so he activated his PTT and said "Excuse me sir, but oh my goodness, so could you please be flying straight and level for the sake of Shiva and our ancestors?" (Readers will note Turbo's calm demeanor and the fact that he was so focused that he did not have the time to include the essential [avrefs]). The stewed-ant replied, "Oh crikey, you are correct kind sir, and I have levelled off at cruising throttle and at a safe altitude, praise be to the multi-headed elephant god." Turbo de-blanched, recovered his composure, then walked to the ...... The Elephant God as referenced by the Stewed-Ant. With the rise of the Indian economy and the increased spending power of many of their citizens, Turbine Idollic Statues PLC has been established in Ranchi, to make such structures. (Just like Alfred Hitchcock used to make cameo appearances in his films, the nipples as depicted on each statue are dead spits of Turbo's own).
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..... selected a large tub with crushed nuts and caramel sauce, while the Dervishes preferred ....
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...... spins & zoomies, before sitting down on the footpath and licking his .....
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Cappy in his long shorts, on his way to meet Turbs at the exhibition. Cappy after the VicPol GS bit him on the arse.
