Captain

.... so he had to spin it twice as fast to obtain the same thrust, but he thought that the harmonics might be an issue, until his girlfriend gave it her approval and she came .....

Turdy's Morgan Crappy's Morgan

..... a Morgan is a Morgan and all you need to build them into a saleable product is a team of carpenters and a warranty policy that puts all liability onto the customer. Dave had been a chippy in his early days so he ......

..... heads off a couple of thousand cats and fed them to the Uyghurs that make the Apple phones. I thought that Turbo would get the message after 4 or 5 cats were terminated, but it took 2000 to get through to him. Anyway, me and Turdboy are now best mates and are cooperating for the glorious friendship of our 2 great nations, well ....... ours anyway". Just at that moment OT's call waiting went off. "Sorry Xi, gotta go, as Stokesy is on the line. See ya" He pushed a button and said "G'day Kezza, how are they hanging?" "G'day Onesie" said Kerry "What's this I hear about you importing CAT gear from China and undermining my exclusive CAT pricing structure?" OT backpedaled like an Italian tank driver and in no time flat had negotiated to sell all his plastic CAT spares to Kerry for half Stokesy's normal selling price, so OT made a motza and Kezza had a bit of a warranty, wear and durability issue for a while. Then Kerry changed the subject "Hey Onesie, you know how I funded Ben Roberts-Smith VC's defense? Well, I like supporting Aussie heroes and I hear that your mates, Turdy and Crappy, have been dumped in it by an ABC's 3 Corners Report that they were a bit over enthusiastic while up the Khyber, plus CT has also overused rule 222 to tear into the DG bunny population and had pushed a few dozen of them ..... with their paws bound ..... into one of the 5 sacred rivers in order to teach 'em a lesson, in what has become known as the great "Bunny-Lemming Scandal", so let those Skippy Heroes know that I ........ The above is a work of fiction and no despots, dictators, millionaires, billionaires or animals were harmed in the making of this post.

..... but then the truth came out, because in the height of passion, CT had whispered to his girlfriend #3 (CT is a bit of a goer, as well as a complete CT) that his real aim was to use the D7 and the WA sourced rippers to secretly enlarge the Arrivals & Departure holes at DG International. "I thought that he was referring to mine" she said to the DG office of the ABC, before CT .....

..... a big bloke with what was obviously a bad attitude. "Could this be bull or is it that CT, of might it even be Planey?" Cappy slurped into his cornflakes and spoke to Tubb through the side of his mouth, showering Turdy with milk and shards of cereal, so that he looked like an elf in a snow-globe. "I'm look'n for some bloke (or Blokette if'n it might be a shiela) who is known around these parts as the "Singular Root", because I want to buy 3 rippers for a D7, then a .......

.... had to move my many years of accumulating invaluable items to a new location. That required such dedication that I almost withdrew from life, and even from the NES, before I woke up to myself, missed my regular contact with close mates like bull & Turdy, and I came back like Lazarus, stronger than ever, even though I am still .....

..... Confucius (referring to Kong Qui, and not the other imposter bloke) says that he thinks that you have the irits, Onesie, so what has put a burr under your kimono?" OT ignored the improper reference to Japanese dress and responded "Too right Crappy, it all started when I ......

.... Do you mean digital, like that 1 finger salute that my subjects give me so lovingly, or do you mean numbers and stuff? In addition, if you need funding under a UN program, we can arrange a few $ million each year if you can just use the term "Renewable Energy Superpower" all the time. "No wuckers" replied Turdy, as if there is one thing that gives Turbo an ......

..... a lack of acceptance of new ideas and a type of digitital blindness to ......

..... indulging in a crook vindaloo, and that .....

Thus, the normal VOR navigation system became known as the VGBR and the ILS was renamed the GBLS as height on final could readily be determined by the relative size of the gin bottles ..... and when you could clearly read "Bombay Saphire" on the bottles, it was time to flare. Therefore, the entire navigation and landing procedures became much more simple and GPS's were stripped from every aircraft in order to accommodate a slab of Tonic Water and some ice. ..... little hairy bit that sticks out of most mosuls ....... well ....., it turns out that Cappy had eaten so many mosuls over his considerable lifetime that he had evolved (Darwin's great granddaughter has become physically involved with him while studying Cappy, just like Charlie had studied the evolution of the finches on Galapagos) with an identical but larger hairy bit sticking out of Cappy's ....... (Cappy acknowledges that this post may be a trifle erky perky to some of our more delicate NESers, however science and evolution should never be subverted). THE HAIRY BIT THAT IS THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST.

.... he was great at disguises, being two-faced and all. The pinnacle of Albo's time in the British Army was during Gulf 1, when he went to Mosul, which he thought was a bivalve mollusk ....... and he was hankering for a paella. This set the scene for Albo's future, in that he was then ....... The plate of Mosuls that Albo really wanted.

..... demanded 20% "for the Big Guy". "It not for me" emphasized Xi "It for Joey Biden. I take the other 80% or you'll be reeducated down in Uighur territory". "Fair enough, whatever you want, Xi old mate" replied Cappy, using his best Albanese negotiating technique ..... then added "But what's your missus doing at the moment, mate? As my friend here is a champion at Strip Mahjong". "Ahhh, you pray Stlip Mahjongg so you must be OK guys" replied Xi "I send down my missus and a few concubines and you can take your pick, but be careful as your mate looks a little crook and a couple of those girls might tip him over the edge & finish him off". "Don't you worry about that, as my mate can handle whatever is thrown at him, as we have been up the Khyber together." "Wow, but isn't that a lude explession, yet humourous in a juvenile manner?" asked Xi "With connotations of b........

..... an investigative journalist at The Australian identified that the JWF were just the Waterside Workers Federation & the Seaman's Union with some masking tape over their names and the Judicial Workers Federation (often misspelled) scribbled in with a black Texta .......... while various Judges had changed their names from Pat Clancy, Billy Hughes & Chopper Reid by deed poll. And while the sentences were often meted out immediately by a .38 to the melon around the back of the pub, one advantage of this system was that not much time or money was wasted on appeals ..... plus this all fitted in tickety-boo with normal politics and the way things roll in Mextoria. The JWF also warned off Turbo, hence why he limps and his knee is still swollen, from forming the privatized & new Turbine Law Courts & King's Counsels Inc, because Turbo had ......

.... that VicPol overlooked, then harvested, dried and sold because appropriate brown envelopes had been exchanged. The Judges from Wang were also ....

..... and as this incident happened on a bunny bikeway near CT's main hole, Dan (AO, BO & CU) also deemed it to be .....

..... hitting one of CT's bunnies that was riding a bunny sized bicycle. "The bunny almost hit us" said Dan, as he scrambled to .....

.... was immediately arrested by VicPol as soon as the original report magically disappeared and a 000 call was doctored to make the innocent old bloke liable. (So just a typical night for Vicmanistan Emergency Services). "Don't worry darling, this scam will work again" said Dan to .....

.... and CT then made sure that his pushy was locked away in its shed, because Mrs Dan was nearby. CT, who was now known as "Two Holes" by his mates at the DG Progress Association, became the ....

..... this world, as no longer do runways need to be aligned with prevailing winds, and instead can be decided by the bunnies ..... mainly determined by the direction to the best paddocks of carrots, or where the hottest lady bunnies live. So CT was up and running again, except that the high number of flight movements of Super Dooper jumbos meant that CT needed 2 holes, which also meant that .....

These new facilities meant that Boeing saw a way to pull themselves out of the doo-doo and they immediately reprised the Super Jumbo ....... followed by the Super-Dooper jumbo soon thereafter. However these soon caused congestion issues in the hole where the aircraft went underground and vice verca.

..... under conditions where extreme cross-winds could be encountered. The advantages of these ug attractions became self evident and all flight schools immediately dropped training for crosswind/crossed controls as Turbine Underground Runways Developments (TURDs) were contracted to build underground airports around the globe. This made DG International immediately obsolete and the CT .....

.... even had to implement Stage 2 of the underground Terminal which tripled the number of gates. But where Turbo really shook up the aviation community was with the addition of an underground runway, which meant that .....

..... were 26 REX aircraft all with KEEP AWAY signs, written in the Malaysian lingo. Turbo spotted an opportunity, as usual, and he .....