Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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.... he was great at disguises, being two-faced and all. The pinnacle of Albo's time in the British Army was during Gulf 1, when he went to Mosul, which he thought was a bivalve mollusk ....... and he was hankering for a paella. This set the scene for Albo's future, in that he was then ....... The plate of Mosuls that Albo really wanted.
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..... demanded 20% "for the Big Guy". "It not for me" emphasized Xi "It for Joey Biden. I take the other 80% or you'll be reeducated down in Uighur territory". "Fair enough, whatever you want, Xi old mate" replied Cappy, using his best Albanese negotiating technique ..... then added "But what's your missus doing at the moment, mate? As my friend here is a champion at Strip Mahjong". "Ahhh, you pray Stlip Mahjongg so you must be OK guys" replied Xi "I send down my missus and a few concubines and you can take your pick, but be careful as your mate looks a little crook and a couple of those girls might tip him over the edge & finish him off". "Don't you worry about that, as my mate can handle whatever is thrown at him, as we have been up the Khyber together." "Wow, but isn't that a lude explession, yet humourous in a juvenile manner?" asked Xi "With connotations of b........
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..... an investigative journalist at The Australian identified that the JWF were just the Waterside Workers Federation & the Seaman's Union with some masking tape over their names and the Judicial Workers Federation (often misspelled) scribbled in with a black Texta .......... while various Judges had changed their names from Pat Clancy, Billy Hughes & Chopper Reid by deed poll. And while the sentences were often meted out immediately by a .38 to the melon around the back of the pub, one advantage of this system was that not much time or money was wasted on appeals ..... plus this all fitted in tickety-boo with normal politics and the way things roll in Mextoria. The JWF also warned off Turbo, hence why he limps and his knee is still swollen, from forming the privatized & new Turbine Law Courts & King's Counsels Inc, because Turbo had ......
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.... that VicPol overlooked, then harvested, dried and sold because appropriate brown envelopes had been exchanged. The Judges from Wang were also ....
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..... and as this incident happened on a bunny bikeway near CT's main hole, Dan (AO, BO & CU) also deemed it to be .....
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..... hitting one of CT's bunnies that was riding a bunny sized bicycle. "The bunny almost hit us" said Dan, as he scrambled to .....
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.... was immediately arrested by VicPol as soon as the original report magically disappeared and a 000 call was doctored to make the innocent old bloke liable. (So just a typical night for Vicmanistan Emergency Services). "Don't worry darling, this scam will work again" said Dan to .....
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.... and CT then made sure that his pushy was locked away in its shed, because Mrs Dan was nearby. CT, who was now known as "Two Holes" by his mates at the DG Progress Association, became the ....
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..... this world, as no longer do runways need to be aligned with prevailing winds, and instead can be decided by the bunnies ..... mainly determined by the direction to the best paddocks of carrots, or where the hottest lady bunnies live. So CT was up and running again, except that the high number of flight movements of Super Dooper jumbos meant that CT needed 2 holes, which also meant that .....
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These new facilities meant that Boeing saw a way to pull themselves out of the doo-doo and they immediately reprised the Super Jumbo ....... followed by the Super-Dooper jumbo soon thereafter. However these soon caused congestion issues in the hole where the aircraft went underground and vice verca.
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..... under conditions where extreme cross-winds could be encountered. The advantages of these ug attractions became self evident and all flight schools immediately dropped training for crosswind/crossed controls as Turbine Underground Runways Developments (TURDs) were contracted to build underground airports around the globe. This made DG International immediately obsolete and the CT .....
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.... even had to implement Stage 2 of the underground Terminal which tripled the number of gates. But where Turbo really shook up the aviation community was with the addition of an underground runway, which meant that .....
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..... were 26 REX aircraft all with KEEP AWAY signs, written in the Malaysian lingo. Turbo spotted an opportunity, as usual, and he .....
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..... before he realized that it had been a mistake to remove the Encabulator and place it around that corner. He needed to reunite them, but as is usual with four wheelers, the biggest .....
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Dear NESers. The below photo was taken today in a pre Colombian cultural museum in Costa Rica. It shows a statue of a Sharman from around 2000 years ago. This proves that Cappy & Turbs are not genuine Sharmen, because while Turbs and Cappy have been up the Khyber together, Cappy has never seen Turbo's, however Cappy can confirm that his is nowhere near as pointy as that shown on the statue. Size is also a bit of an issue too.
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...... Herb Williams came to mind, because he harvested and sold Patterson's Curse commercially to most of the florists along the east coast, and in addition had found a way to extract the copper from the blossoms and make copper wire. Herb also had a passionate interest in ......
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Were they used as part of the feeding program at the Cat Farms? We will probably never know for sure, but we all know that Turbo will do anything to save on his Cat Farm's dry food costs. Many of the Cats had developed a taste for Biltong, so my vote is yes. Is this biltong for the cats, or is this FC .............................. (failed climber)?
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..... a lot of interest from Jeep car clubs worldwide, the Petrified Explorers Association, The George Mallory (and George Clooney) Appreciation Societies, The Katmandu Pilsner drinkers of the world, and for the Annual Conferences of various Mortuary, Embalming and Freeze Drying corporations, all of which see the Shangri La (note the spelling difference, as Turbo's post mentions the Jane Goodall hotel for gorillas) as providing a better way to ......
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..... had enough rust holes to allow George's juices to get away ("Geez I needed that" said George), and the experience of George on Everest became the basis for the runaway success of the Turbine Cryogenics Corporation (the world renowned TCC) which has now recovered 240 unsuccessful climbers off the mountain and, in addition to keeping the Katmandu Pilsner cool for a while on the way down, has used them to ...... Part of the TCC's photo collection that promotes their activities in the foyers of each of their offices around the world (that is Turbo at top left, acting the part of George (Clooney not Mallory) to turn on the girls in the typing pool).
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But like many members of the AUF, not to mention of the NES, Cappy is now banned from using ladders in case he breaks a hip cleaning gutters (Ethel is a stickler for the rules ..... except the one that mentions the word "obey"). It is one of the benefits of being an NES keyboard warrior that while one's reputation can take a dive, and the cat can stick its bum into your face and trash a long and hysterical post by lying on the keyboard, the chances of Crappy being injured is low, although he does get hurt by some of the crueler posts by his so-called friends.
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.... that always gave Crappy the willies, hence the name. It was when they got to Base Camp, after picking up the bodies of 6 earlier failed attempted climbers (which Cappy used to keep the beer cold), who for some reason did not become as famous as Ed and Tensy, that an issue arose .... Just for the record Tensing Norgay was neither Norwegian nor gay ...... NTTIAWWT.
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And Spacey has swept into the NES with his usual deep and meaningful content, and like a seagull attacking a bag of chips, he has called bull "short " and indicated that bull may also be a septic. With no exit dots, Spacey gives us nowhere to go, so Cappy, ever the friend of the NES, has continued never the less. ...... which (Jeep not Spacey) in the inner suburbs are often known as a Chicko Roll in a ......
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.... their scrambled eggs, until the Cookie, who was a Japanese Walter Brennan type said "Ohh, gosh darn it, I am so solly, because I thought that the scramble was the breakfast order, so let's not waste all those googies, scoff then down than jump into your .....
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Cappy has been in this situation a few times in his life, so it is all pretty standard stuff, although waking up to Turdo whispering in your ear is a bit off-putting .... and he seemed to be enjoying it too. That, dear readers, is the type of guy Turbo is. After all of his financial and corporate success he still risks his personal wellbeing for his mates. Quite a guy, I'm sure you will agree. ..... after a night playing strip Mahjongg with themselves (Ahhh the tribulations of an all-male remote posting) and they were squinting as they rubbed the sleep out of their eyes. The TJDF, on the other hand, were ........
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.... but no, it was Mrs Xi in costume and ready to play the games. Strip Mahjongg is an institution in China and the empress at the time indulged it with Cappy's original namesake + one of the more greedy Emprasses played it with each of the warriors that are modeled in terra cotta, hence the grins on their faces. Cappy has always liked Mahjongg played a bit rough and he ..... An amazing Cappy looking Terra cotta warrior with a sly grin after winning 4 forfeits at strip Mahjongg
