Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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.... scientists to prove, against all previous research relating to the Galaxias Maculatus (also known in Cappy's family as Inanga) that the NZ Whitebait are inferior to those from the Mekong Delta. However once proper scientific analysis was applied, as peer reviewed by Elon's AI, or if the Mekong whitebait were squeezed, it showed that all whitebait from the Mekong Delta were full of Mekong sh...... When Turbo had his staff check out the mating habits of the Inanga he realised that this reminded him of his own achievements during his teenage years, in that when it comes to procreation, the males fertilise the eggs by releasing so much milt (sperm) that īnanga have been dubbed ‘cowfish’, because of the milky water.
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.... was the first to claim dibs on all of the rivers that have, or have ever had, white bait in them, to ensure that .....
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...... the fush in the ruvers will .......
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..... some bloke at The Round Table coffee shop in Fukutanai who called himself Arthur King, or King Arthur, or something, and it is a horizontally opposed 3 cylinder 2 stroke that Merlin had envisioned when he was high on the fumes of a potent potion (a PP). With this engine the Pakeha Mk sux was sure to ..... Thanks for the beach location guidance. Come up for a sunbake if you like, as the sun actually shines up there, and we can have a further chat about what to do about OT and bull.
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.... an overweight middle aged truckie in a pie stained blue singlet, suspiciously stained stubbies & worn out thongs ..... with the product tank located aerodynamically where his beer gut is. So not "top dressing", but more Turbo working class clobber. Undaunted, Turdine Industries continued the development of this aircraft, with the Pakeha Mk sex, which was very popular in sheep grazing country and where ....... Cappy might be off the air for a few days this week as he has picked up a fantastically cheap deal on an airB&B apartment right on the beach in some joint named Gaza. Does anyone know where that is in relation to Surfers Paradise?
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..... ceremony of sacrifice, which involved Jona Lomu sticking a Tasmanian on a ....... ..... in readiness for the ceremony of sacrifice, which involved Jona Lomu sticking a Tasmanian on a ....... Pure arse, so what would be the odds of Cappy reuniting the disparate threads of the NES, thusly, and by total coincidence? Coincidence # 2 is how much Jona looks like OT (when he was in his prime and all fit and firm ... but not like how he is now).
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.... one way trip, through Taupo and up the Mt Ruapehu volcano, where an automatic tripper dispatched the .....
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.... the Casino for a 30-minute run on the pokies, then come back, sit down again outside the dunny in the hope of seeing a young Adam Bandt or a nubile Sarah H-Y, with the sun shining through their caftans, however Motion # 2 would still be being discussed for the want of finding a seconder who is financial, and not just be someone from a picnic who wanted to use the karzy. The meetings .....
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..... the location in the Hobart Botanical Gardens where the Greens 1st met and where their AGMs have been held ever since ..... see photo below (the commemorative plaque from the Tasmanian Historical Society is on the other side). As a result of the above initiative UTAS had turned out so many Climate Scientists that the BOM was overloaded ..... but, thankfully, was able to find them all gainful employment adjusting historic temperature records and preparing AI photos of Antarctica with all of the ice removed and penguins standing on rocks, with Polar Bears about to gobble them up. Further photos showed that the Polar Bears had walked down (after calling in to visit Machu Pichu) and had arrived via the land bridge from Chile. However, the BOM AI guru was a bit of a pisspot and used the images of the Bundy Bear (see 2 examples below) in all of the photos, from which they ....... The much-venerated Hobart building where the Greens first met. The images used for the BOM's Climate Change Bears. The big giveaway was that the Emu and the Roo looked a bit out of place in Antarctica.
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.... "The North Island" or "If she's not good enough for her brother she's not good enough for you" and other local .....
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.... activated as Dan clones. "The big issue is smuggling them into Tasmania" explained the cartel's Public Relations Officer (they are yet to hire Turbine Marketing) "As these reprobates are classified by the Tassy government (sic) as being somewhat similar to Foxes & Syphilis, so they are banned on the Spirit of Tasmania (and also even banned on the new ferry that is stuck in England as it is too long to fit the SOT docks at either end)." "We bring them in on surf skis via Strachan, take 3 days to get the sand out of the undies of the Waliens & the chips off the shoulders of the Queenslanders, then up the historic railway to Queenstown, where there is an underground WW2 Migrant Camp. This is where they are re-edumacated to .......
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... , or to work, generally. "We prefer to accumulate debt, after all that is why we are coming to Dan-Land, to live off the 27 people who still work in Mextoria, 17 of which a so dumb as to pay their taxes, where Commonwealth Games can be cancelled on a whim, where we can work from home via a lockdown if we get a sore finger, and where ......
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..... they formed the Yarrawonga Cartel, which was structured in an identical manner to the Sinaloa Cartel, but is more vicious. The Yarrawonga Cartel make their dough by controlling the trade of Rutherglen wines across the border, the transport of counterfeit Tic Tacs to the northern states, and the people smuggling of decrepit, sad, penniless, poorly fed, smelly, desperate Mextorians across the border into the freedom and prosperity of NSW. (Cappy is pleased to report that this is usually a fairly safe trip and none are sexually molested because they smell "off" and look crook, like Mextorians, although most do take the opportunity to be baptised in the holy waters of the Murray and become free "Northerners".) On the return trip the Cartel brings machetes, and they capture any delusional northern Labor voters who post anything about "Standing With Dan". Those people are usually surrendered by northern freedom loving Labor Branches, stripped, gagged, and bound with zip ties, to then be sold in the .....
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..... Avoca Zambrero restaurant, which is the closest he could get to Victoria without ordering his 4th Commonwealth aircraft (avref) of the day. The staff at Zambreros welcomed Albo, who had given his country Aussie straw sucking Akubra the flick, and he wore a sombrero which made him look .... He looked like this: But wearing this typical Mextorian gear.
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..... summoned Zali to his office and said "I'm going to build a man made Winter Olympics standard ski slope at my seaside Avoca mansion, so when I leave the 1st jump ready to do a double backflip (policyrecantref) do I put my weight forward or on the back of my skis?" Zali's response was surprising as she offered the following without exchanging texts with Adam Bandt or with little Robby HACkySack, and said "Dutto (PDref) reckons that you have been ahead of your skis for over 2 years, Anthony, my little buddy, so just lean back but don't ever go to the right (leftypoliticsref), & once you leave the ground (pseudoavref) just ......
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...... accompanied by 5 or 6 teal (and various other shades of cian) coloured bimbos, who he used to distract from the fact that ......
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..... decided to revert to being the good cop to Turbo's usual really quite terrible, unwashed & smelly cop. "bull, maaaaaaaate" crappy said "how about we go and have a couple of coffees and a cannolis, then talk our way through png politics and corruption practices, so that we can draw out the issues and ..... Note The Skipper's clever use of non-capitals as he kowtows to his crustacean squasher ((c) Turdboy) friend, bull.
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...... and this dear NESers is a key issue for Turbine Marketing, as Cappy has taken on the task of securing the world-wide rights to market the PNG Rugby League team. Therefore, given that bull has 1st hand knowledge from participation in the PNG corruption network and practices, my question to bull is how much of Albo's $600 million grant will actually be seen by the team and their management and how much will Turbine Marketing be able to skim out of that, as well. "So bull, old friend" said Crappy "given that you were embedded in the graft of the country, albeit that things have deteriorated since 2004, do you reckon that the normal 10% of aid will actually make it to the ground for TM to take their usual 50% (so still a worthwhile $30 million to keep grog on the Boardroom table at TE), or will .......
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.... up. The reason that they were a no show is that that had seen a culturally enriching video which showed circumcision by oyster shell (the CBOS, soon to be compulsory for all migrants on Australia Day) and they had buggered off, quick stix them fellas, back to .....
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..... Tic Toc had banned the LokLok, X had Sanctioned the LekLix and Facebook had ....
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..... think of it, with the Turbine Industries LV's power lead, the Leklicks would also be "Cable Guys" and ready to install cable TV throughout the highlands, so that the masses can watch Albo's $600 million NFL team whenever they play. An extension of this business plan was to immediately take a controlling interest in Foxtel now that the Murdocks want out. But the Leckliks also showed their can-do attitude by cutting off all but 10 ft of the power cord and suspending a 20 kVa diesel generator below each LV, and introduced the moto "Mobility is Critical to good head-hunting ...... and to capture lots of chicks." The LikLiks were therefore in deep s.....
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.... nobody knows that it is an EV because your dyslexia+ spelling difficulties meant that it has been designated as an LV (LecLick Vehicle), so we are exempt from .....
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.... the subsidies that Cappy had negotiated with Chris Bowen before Chris went dark. This amazingly well negotiated subsidy was much more than what Simon Homes & Tennis Court had achieved, was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award by the Australian Negotiator's Council, and .....
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..... flicked the switch on a 30 minute Surroundarama video, shown on the 30 ft high X 50 ft wide curved screen, which was taken secretly at the Moorabbin Drive-in Theatre showing Turbo doing some of his best front seat, and back seat, work for which he was well known and admired around the Moorabbin social scene. In particular, the film showed a rather spotty Turbo doing his .....
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..... he had trouble getting a publisher for his tome entitled "The Bench Seat Kamasutra" in which he had the usual diagrams, however in the Deluxe Signed Edition he had photos of himself, Mavis and bull's Coffee Lady, which made that edition an immediate collector's items. This was followed of course by demands for Turbo to make public appearances (somewhat akin to the Puppetry of the Penis [another original idea of Turbine Marketing and Promotions]), so Turbo bought lots of blue and green pills (he usually doesn't need them, but with 4 or 5 shows a day and 7 days per week on a lengthy National Tour, he just wanted to be sure that little Turbo could keep up the pace) and big Turbo went on the .....
