......advised by a dark-skinned gentleman with a thick black beard and turban, talking in a thick accent, "Welcome to the bankrupt State, Sir!
You will possibly find your electricity supply today is a bit haphazard, your internet connections will drop out frequently, the trains are only running intermittently, the airlines are suffering from a substantial number of flight cancellations due to major security threats, and the roads out of town are seriously potholed.
However, rest assured, the Premier is advising the Govt has your best interests at heart, and our teams of online assistants, based in local regions such as India, Pakistan, Malaysia, Indonesia, and even the Cook Islands, are all standing by, and willing to offer help - once they can verify your identify with a 100 point check, ensure you have introduced no diseases from other States, that were picked up during your travels, and that you have your credit card ready with..........