Mike and Russ, I've helped a few students through this over the years and fellow pilots as well. In a previous life I worked on motorcycle safety programmes and training as well. My passion and involvement for the things I've done has inevitably led me to positions where I have had to confront the very tragic side of these activities. I have struggled in all of these environments to come to terms with the loss and the frustration of not being able to control or change the outcomes. What made things worse, and I still recall it, is when it was someone I knew. I don't think anyone can truly separate themselves in this case. Unfortunately in my riding and hang gliding history, my roles and the confrontation with the above tarnished me to a point where any enjoyment was lost.
Recently I had to stand over a burning wreckage with a fire extinguisher knowing full well a friend and other flying colleagues were inside. None of this is easy.
I walked away from hang gliding, but the passion and drive I have for aviation saved me. I re- invented myself with recreational aviation back in the nineties and have dedicated my flying to build and educate all aspects of safety. I refute the throw away line that those who can't do, teach, what I have found is that passion and other motivations often drive the desire to teach but unfortunately teaching requires more than just an understanding of flying, it requires an understanding of people, and that is indeed an art.
I temper any negative thoughts with the reality that loss is inevitable - we all suffer the terminal condition of life but I will live, experience and hopefully influence those around me in the journey. My safety is only pertinent in as far as what I can learn to control, but if I can do anything to enhance it then I'm better working within the environment than walking away.
I had a very visual lesson taught to me a long time ago- a friend held a pen up and walked his fingers round it , he looked at me and said see that pen- I said yeah of course! He said well that pen is like a problem or hurdle in life, you can choose to walk around it, or you can deal with it, if you deal with it you'll remember it but it has been dealt with, if not that pen is always going to be there. I thought it was trite at the time but over the years that simple lesson has rung true. Right now I'm reminded of it again, my wife has been diagnosed with cancer, yep there's that bloody pen again, but well apply that same truth that has worked so far.
Don't leave something you love- embrace it we owe that to the things that define us!