As far as distinguishing the runway goes, at YLIL right now it's not too bad, with the brown cut grass between the strips providing a good guide. But sometimes it's a bit hard, and just occasionally I've lined up on the grass at the side instead of the strip itself before I realised my mistake .
Like you, my problem ATM is round out and flare. I find, even though I know I should be looking at the far end, I can't help looking just in front at the last minute. Also, I'm in too much of a hurry to get the thing on the ground instead of holding off. I'm slowly getting better, however.
As far as where to look, I concentrate on on the left hand gable marker at the far end - this also helps me get the aircraft pointing directly down the runway at touchdown.
Like Dexter, there's been times when I've thought I'd never get the hang of it, and was going backwards and ready to throw the towel in. But eventually it gets better. At least now my instructor says my landings are getting very consistent (I think he meant consistently bad , but at least they're consistent) so now I can work on improving them.
Oh, and another thing I find helps is as you're approaching the threshold, start thinking through in advance what you're going to do for the round out and flare - ie get ahead of the plane.