The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.......ishy-washy way to try and impress people. "Anyway", said the BF lass, "regardless of what rank you try to pull on me, I outrank you by a country mile, as I have the ability to ensure you.........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

.......ishy-washy way to try and impress people. "Anyway", said the BF lass, "regardless of what rank you try to pull on me, I outrank you by a country mile, as I have the ability to ensure you.........

... "I don't want to be insured" said Turbo, where hearing & spelling had never been his strong suit, so the BF lassie just ......

Edited December 17, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........sniffed, turned around a few time and lay down under a banana tree.

Through the trees Turbo could see the Tweed Heads Kayak Hire sign in New South Wales. Domenic had said, over lunch only a few weeks ago "If you ever need anything from New South Wales Turbo, let me know."

All he had to do was hope this sleeping dog didn't wake up, make it to THKH despite the sharks, get to the phone in the Leages club, make the call and Dom would get him away from this Hell Hole of Queensland.

 

But Lassie woke up and took a bite out of his lower ....................

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

But Lassie woke up and took a bite out of his lower .........

....... scrotal area, so that ......

[onetrack]

......this would prevent Turbo from running - but it didn't. If fact, if anything, it simply gave wings to Turbos feet, as he hit the road running, and made Usain Bolt look like a snail suffering from lethargy.

 

Turbo tore up the road so fast, he actually lifted strips of asphalt with each foot, as he propelled himself along. Lassie didn't stand a chance of getting another bite, and literally got left in Turbos dust, as he.......

[Captain]

..... later explained, the 1Root had misheard Turbo's retelling of this story, because there is a big difference between "running" and having "the runs", hence his name.

 

Turdy further explained by .......

Edited December 18, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..now having to yell over his shoulder because he was doing a Forest Gump down the road, and Oney could hear him and slowed down, but he'd said "I'm not waiting for you at the River!" and he rounded the corner, grabbed the last canoe and with his jewells in one hand and a paddle in the other crossed over to Domland, which was the new name of NSW after Dom had found out how easy it was to get Native Title in NSW. Dom had already prohibited people from climbing mountains, poles and trees and had introduced the Welcome to Dom smoking ceremony which consisted of lighting up cigars, and ......

[Captain]

..... 3 mosquito coils, plus a large .....

 

PS ..... run Turgid run ....

Edited December 18, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....stick to beat on the ground. There was usually some L’Orial make up for those that needed it and.....

[Captain]

.... a Thai massage that finishes up with a happy ......

[onetrack]

......client. However, despite his happiness, Turbo found it was forbidden to take photos, or mention names of the deceased, at Doms gathering. This was somewhat advantageous, though, as it made it so much easier for Turbo to slip into NSW unnoticed - and a regular objection to mentioning names was a common method that Turbo used to get out of trouble.

 

However, it soon became obvious, and of great concern to Turbo - despite the thick fog of smoke surrounding the gathering - that a CASA operative had also followed Turbo into NSW and was also blowing smoke around himself as a useful method to hide his presence. However, Turbo wasn't so easily fooled, and the one thing that gave the CASA operatives presence away, was his..........

 

Edited December 18, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.....lack of makeup. He'd been warned that rogure WF pilotsd could be very dangerous, but he'd just laughed it off, and now here he was with one of the worst...............Planey, who had finally finished building his "Thrifter" which was part Thruster and part Drifter, and part the wife's kitchen drawer contents, but the motor sang like a bird. No one could stop the squeal but everyone agreed just to let it wear out whatever it was rubbing against. Planey had just taxyed to the holding point when the CASA brute held up his hand and said "RAMP CHECK! Plamey thought he was asking if he had a handkerchief, and said "Yes thanks!", gunned the throttle and was soon out of sight. The CA............

[onetrack]

....SA operative stood stunned in the takeoff dust and smoke, as Planeys 993cc Briggs & Stratton Vanguard V-Twin laboured under the effort of producing its full 35HP, to enable the Thrifter to reach its maximum climb rate of 96 feet a minute. 

However, just as Planey reached the critical 500 foot altitude, he heard the unmistakeable sound of the kitchen drawer opening and rattling. That meant only one thing, it was time to.........

 

Edited December 19, 2022 by onetrack

[Captain]

..... sharpen some knives and to hone his procedures before he ......

[turboplanner]

.......jumped in the old Aero Commander and beat Planey to his destination. He parked it round the back and when Planey arrived, said "RAMP CHECK!" in a former voice, told Planey to turn around and put his hands on the Thrifter (one went through the wing fabric, but we won't mention his workmanship.) He said to Planey, "I'm only cuffing you for your own protection", but Planey who was a modest person wasn't so sure. When he said "show me your log book" Planey became obtuse and ..........

[Captain]

..... oblong, oblique, obvious, obusive plus, as Planey so often does, he ......

[turboplanner]

.....fortunately was not acute or the CASAMonster would have had something to think about.

However, it was just a ruse, and with a flash, planey was back in the seat, had the engine running and the hybrid aircraft rolling and disappeared through the trees, finding an irrigation ditch which allowed him to fly below ground level. the CM was stuffed, and .........................

[Captain]

..... Planey became the hero of the AUF, he even received a HotAUF badge, yet despite that Planey remained the same delightful yet humble person that ........

[Captain]

PS ...... IT IS NOW EVIDENT AND PROVEN, FROM THE ABOVE POSTS, THAT THE MEER/FLEETING MENTION ON PLANEY'S NAME HAS BROUGHT THE NES TO SILENCE THROUGH PURE REVERENCE AND RESPECT.

Edited December 20, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... MEER ......

Apologies Planey, as by misspelling MERE as I did above, I was not referencing that you might be like a Merekat, nor any other species of African mongoose, ................................. nor that you speak with a Russian accent.

Edited December 20, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......MEER.......Meer....where had he heard that name before, and then he realised. It was Miss Mere, his 6th grade teacher, a stunning blonde who had swept the ten year old off his feet, and ruined his concentation for a whole year, leaving him with a spelling and grammar problem for Mr Brutus to try and fix the following year. He was good with his hands though, and had built a Jabiru and made several comments about trips he had completed, wine picked up from vineyards etc but when Turbo computed them he found that either the Jab had a burn rate of less than 1 litre per hour, he was flying a Kenworth based on the load or .................

[Captain]

...... Mr. Brutus had taught the lad incorrectly.

 

Because, while Miss Meer had taught him a lot (albeit that he may have been 6 years underage) it later became known that Mr. Brutus held an undisclosed PPL (eventual avref) and was therefore biased (he had a Lycoming logo tattoo as a tramp-stamp), and he was also a member of ........

 

 

MR BRUTUS'S TRAMP STAMP (PHOTO UNATTRIBUTED AS NOBODY REALLY WANTED TO OWN UP TO HAVING BEEN THAT CLOSE AROUND THERE ........ BUT I SUSPECT IT MAY HAVE BEEN TURBO DURING HIS EXPERIMENTAL STAGE).

 

Edited December 21, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........the Lycoming Institute, a new body formed by Lycoming owners where they gloated over the superb performance of the marque compared to the sh!tboxes those  recreationalists flogged for an hour or so each year. Th membership grew quickly because everone wanted to mix with a winner and there were plenty of winners in the LI.

Soon there was a Lycoming Lounge in every major airport where on a "Members Only"  basis you could have a three course meal and a sleep while waiting for the inevitable RA crate to be scraped off the runway. It was while waiting one day that .....................

[Captain]

..... Mr Brutus was asked about .....

[onetrack]

.....the possibility of a Continental Lounge, as Continental was a strongly preferred alternative to Lycoming in many regions, and by many owners. Mr Brutus sniffed, "Continental"? We use them for..........