The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

.....ask the next question which was going to be a difficult one because.....

 

…….… the difficult questions always give Mavis a problem and this one was particularly problematic & difficult because ………..

[hihosland]

If she asks Cappy what happened to her pasties he might tell her and that would put the pussy amongst the pigeons well and truly and "well and truly" is a situation she has learnt to avoid ever since........

[Captain]

………. Heidi had attributed the Great Pastie Issue to poor Mavis and had therefore deflected it from his own pasty wearing activities (see the proof in post numbers 11813 and 11814), and learning to deflect and avoid had been a feature of the clandestine relationship that HiHo and Mavis had been conducting ever since she broke bull's heart and ever since …...

[Captain]

AND SO, DEAR READERS, A CHANGE OF FORMAT FOR THIS WEBSITE HAS SENT THE WRECKS OF WRECK FLYING INTO A TAILSPIN (AVREF) OF SILENCE, AND THEY ARE ASKING THEIR GRANDKIDS (OR GG.KIDS) HOW TO NAVIGATE THE NEW SITE. THE NES WILL HOPEFULLY RESUME ONCE THEY HAVE BEEN RETRAINED .......MODERATOR 11.

[turboplanner]

.....she'd dropped the Captain, and started pestering Turbo who neatly..................

[turboplanner]

AND SO, DEAR READERS, A CHANGE OF FORMAT FOR THIS WEBSITE HAS SENT THE WRECKS OF WRECK FLYING INTO A TAILSPIN (AVREF) OF SILENCE, AND THEY ARE ASKING THEIR GRANDKIDS (OR GG.KIDS) HOW TO NAVIGATE THE NEW SITE. THE NES WILL HOPEFULLY RESUME ONCE THEY HAVE BEEN RETRAINED .......MODERATOR 11.

THE NES ITSELF WAS LOST FOR A SHORT PERIOD, OR MORE PRECISELY PARKED BY LEFTIST MODERATOR 6 WHO HAD A HISSY FIT, BUT IS NOW OUT IN THE OPEN AND WE WAIT BREATHLESSY FOR THE BRILLIANT AUTHORS TO BRING THE FANS MORE NEWS OF THE MODERN DAY BIGGLES GROUP......MODERATOR 4.

[onetrack]

....avoided her by saying he'd just got a message that he was wanted back in the office, so he had to run..."

 

This caused Mavis to start searching for someone else to become interested in - which is when she found the Pipe Major playing with his bagpipes again.

"Oh, I didn't know you owned a pussycat!", said Mavis, as she leaned forward to pat the bagpipes. "My what a funny-coloured pussycat, that is!"

 

"Hoots, lassie!!", exclaimed Jock the Pipe Major. "That's nae a pussycat, that's ma bagpipes! Ye'd better not pat the bagpipes, they could increase in size substantially, if ye did that!!"

"Ooooh, said Mavis, "I thought it was a funny-looking cat! But I just love pussycats!, and I always want to pat every one that I see!"

 

"Och lassie!", said Jock, "I wish I wus a pussycat, you could pat me anytime!", he beamed. "Ooooh, you are so naughty!", exclaimed Mavis. "Lets go over to the bar, and we can.........

[turboplanner]

....discuss aeronautical matters ( he actually said mutters, but he is Scottish). Mavis began to get nervous; where had this strange man with a horse's tail handing on his belt and a puffed up catskin under his arm come from, and what exactly were these aeronautical matters going to lead to? Mavis was a good country girl and told him to get lost, turning her attention to.........

[hihosland]

back the piper while thinkiong "aeronautical" was a fancy word for "mile high club" and eyeing him off fingering his chanter gently demmured " so when do we............

[turboplanner]

..........take off" "Tomorrow morning at first light" said the piper, and when she got out to the airfield, there was a Drifter which had been rolled out of the hangar.

"Hop in" the Scotsman said, and he jumed in started up rolled out to the strip, and jumped out again, but he had tied the throttle and controls for a steady climb and within seconds Mavis was headed up into................

[hihosland]

drifter nirvana without a partner but being a resourceful lass and a product of one of the most exclusive finishing colleges for young ladies she without hesitation .............

[Captain]

drifter nirvana without a partner but being a resourceful lass and a product of one of the most exclusive finishing colleges for young ladies she without hesitation .............

…… put on her white gloves, put on her twinset and colour coordinated handbag, then placed a deportment book on her head and said "I wonder what June Dally-Watkins would do in such a situation" as she reached for the ….…..

 

June and a cucumber sanga.

http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2007/09/04/va1237265444621/June-Dally-Watkins-5640529.jpg

 

June at the height of her powers

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=8%2buG8HMd&id=BC5408B02AB303A4D9F1C64828F58296AEFC304F&thid=OIP.8-uG8HMdIaKl1tkyVgwc_gHaEJ&mediaurl=http%3a%2f%2fwww.sbs.com.au%2fnews%2fsites%2fsbs.com.au.news%2ffiles%2fstyles%2fbody_image%2fpublic%2fjune_4.jpg%3fitok%3dgmN6tJ_B%26mtime%3d1478500366&exph=392&expw=700&q=june+dally-watkins+sydney&simid=608001273602510242&selectedIndex=11

Edited February 6, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......joystick and thought of England, but the Drifter rolled into.....

[Captain]

.......joystick and thought of England, but the Drifter rolled into.....

...... an airobatic manoeuvre that Matt Hall would have been proud of, because everyone knows that the rate-of-roll (avref) of a Drifter puts an F16 (Turboavatarref) to ..................

[hihosland]

suddenly Mavis remembered another of June D Watkin's aphorisms "grab opportunity in both hands" ,

to Mavis nothing represented opportunity as did a joy stick so she grabbed with both hands and started to experiment.

 

Soon she discovered the rewards of gentle pressure upon the stick, and that a drifter could be led in any direction she desired,

including the highs and the lows,

so much pleasure and satisfaction was to be had in this aero naughty cal adventure,

one hand, two hands, AH the joys of solo aero naughty cals.

Mean while the plastic bottle of BP's finest was rapidly trending to empty a situation that................

[turboplanner]

........some Drifter drivers would be worried about. Mavis noticed a microphone; she'd been up in Drifters before and had picked up the aviators radio phrases. "G'Day", she said, "it's Mavis and I'm not familiar with procedures here, so what do I do" The ATC guys looked across their desks and rolled their eyes. "Another RAA driver" said one, and was about to say "We're not either, so XXXX off", but thought better of it and said "Mavis, do you have a problem?" Mavis thought he was being personal, and said "NO!, but I need to get this thing down, and does it matter if the level in the little bottle is 20 mm from the bottom?" And with that, NES readers, the ATC fraternity cleared all traffic from Melbourne airport and guided her down to a perfect landing on the runway; she actually landed across it due to misunderstanding simple instructions (she was from Wagga Wagga), but it didn't matter, she looked like a bug on a windscreen in the footage from the Channel 9 News helicopter. On the ground the news media were comparing her with Nancy Bird Walton, and she quickly warmed to the fame. When a journalist asked her what make of aircraft it was, she confidently replied "a Cessna" and that provided six weeks of comments about the dumb press on WF, the winner being........

[onetrack]

.... News Ltd, with a breathless article so full of aviation errors and click-bait words such as, "aircraft horror", "near-death-experience", "brave little girl", "wresting with the controls", "ATC heroes", that most of the WF forum members were either ROFL, or shaking their heads in their sage aviation knowledge.

But Mavis was now a media favourite. She spent all of the first day considering huge financial offers to join "MAFS", "Survivor", "Bachelor in Paradise", "Bride and Prejudice", "Love Island Australia", and "The Farmer wants a Wife".

Now, Mavis being a country girl and all - and thinking that maybe any young farmer looking for a wife, might own a Drifter - she settled on a good offer to join, "The Farmer wants a Wife".

The first thing Mavis had to do, of course, was to visit.................

[hihosland]

................at the direction of the MFS producer was makeup.

 

Mavis being originally a good little Irish girl immediately went into guilty mode and presumed that before she could progress any further in her new media life she would have to make up with the Captain after that dreadful incident in the..........

[turboplanner]

......potato peeling tub, when she and Captain missed the word "potato" and jumped in, causing...........

[Captain]

......potato peeling tub, when she and Captain missed the word "potato" and jumped in, causing...........

……….. consternation (I think that is how it is spelt, anyway, it's when you can't "go") in the crowd, as the crowd thought that both Skippy and Mave were HOT in their wet T-shirts & were the modern day equivalent of Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan or ………..

[turboplanner]

....Laurel and Hardy or......

[onetrack]

... they resembled a couple of pigs wallowing in a mudhole. The problem was, the sheer porky size of both Mavis and Cappy, when the two of them were together in a tub full of vegetable matter, led to calls from the crowd of, "get 'em out of there!", and a few boos and catcalls - which led to Mavis and Cappy being removed unceremoniously from the tub, and hosed down to recover all the potato peelings stuck to them, so the contest could continue with other, substantially more attractive participants. Mavis and Cappy were quite put out by this rejection, and sought consolation in the form of........

[turboplanner]

.......some of Turbo's potato moonshine from the TurbinePotato Home Brewing Company, which harvested more potatoes per year than McDonalds, and........

[Captain]

.......some of Turbo's potato moonshine from the Turbine Potato Home Brewing Company, which harvested more potatoes per year than McDonalds, and........

…….. that is where the encabulator comes back into the story, as Turbo, (ever the Alan Bond of the 21st Century) had found a way for the TPHBC to incorporate his surplus stock of previously hidden (from investors, from the taxman and from investigative NES'ers) encabulators into the highly patented process to enhance the encabulation of the taters as part of the ...………...

Edited February 9, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....electric car industry. As we know the industry so far has not been able to get off the ground due to ranges that roughly equate to the third intersection from the house and require new power generators, producing a net increase in CO2 of up to 60% more than ICE cars, plus they are effeminate. Not may people know but spuds can produce electricity, and when a potato is connected to the static boundary circuit of an encabulator and from the encabulator's cyclic output rotor to an electric motor, huge power outputs are available. Turbo put a system into an old Hyundai Getz and it blew tyre smoke along the complete 1/4 mile drag race circuit, pulling 6.96 seconds and 323.0736 km/hr, just short of the 6.94 secs world record, yet on the way back into town Turbo was actually waved away from a Booze and Roadworthy site, and all anyone needs to do is go down to the supermarket once a week, buy a spud and throw it in the hatch; and all that comes out of the exhaust is.........